Poll: Bible: How do you take it?
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View poll results: Bible: How do you take it?
I interpret the Bible literally
16 14%
I believe in God but I don't think the Bible is supposed to be taken literally
16 14%
Many Biblical stories were ways of explaining scientific phenomena that we now understand
45 39%
I can't read
38 33%
Voters: 115.
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#1
It's Easter so I figured I would question the internet about their religious beliefs.

A lot of people here (not most of you, necessarily!) are Christian, I take it. Those of you here, how many of you take the Bible as the literal word of God? ie, Jesus rose from the dead on Easter Sunday, God created the world in seven days, you know, that whole thing?

I don't think it needs to be said that religious flaming is bad.
GENERATION 28: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Last edited by ProtoCosmos at Apr 20, 2014,
#4
Quote by ProtoCosmos
A lot of people here are Christian, I take it.


I'd like to know how you came to that conclusion.
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This thread is officially about sucking Sleaze off for a sig.


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Hey Sleaze I'll give you a blowjob if you sig me. Maybe even some nudey photos?


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Sleaze, that made me lulz in my pants.


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hahaha Sleaze i'd give you my mom for that one.
#6
I'd say that a lot of biblical writings are predominantly allegory. It's a cool story really, it even has a couple of dragons
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S-Gsus wept
#8
Quote by Sleaze Disease
I'd like to know how you came to that conclusion.



I didn't say most. I didn't say all. I said a lot
GENERATION 28: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
#11
I am currently reading the Book of Mormon, because why not. Other than that I have read The Old Testament, The New Testament, The Torah and The Quran
#12
Quote by ProtoCosmos
It's Easter so I figured I would question the internet about their religious beliefs.

A lot of people here are Christian, I take it. Those of you here, how many of you take the Bible as the literal word of God? ie, Jesus rose from the dead on Easter Sunday, God created the world in seven days, you know, that whole thing?

I don't think it needs to be said that religious flaming is bad.

I thought god created the earth in 6 days and rested on the 7th?
#13
Leviticus rules!!!!!!!!!!
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#14
I'm just gonna get the bitchfight started by saying that anyone who takes the bible literally is a not so very clever person
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#15
Quote by VillainousLatin
Completely untrue.

There's probably a lot of religious people here. They just keep quiet cuz people are assholes.
*-)
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i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#16
Quote by the bartender
I'm just gonna get the bitchfight started by saying that anyone who takes the bible literally is a not so very clever person

I'm just gonna get the bitchfight started by saying herp the derpaflurp flop bleergh
#17
Quote by lolmnt
There's probably a lot of religious people here. They just keep quiet cuz people are assholes.

I'm only an asshole when people attempt to use their faith to legislate the behavior of others. If a persons religious beliefs provide them comfort good for them. Who am I to belittle them for it? Just don't try to wrap me in your blanket.
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You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

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#18
Quote by Jackal58
I'm only an asshole when people attempt to use their faith to legislate the behavior of others. If a persons religious beliefs provide them comfort good for them. Who am I to belittle them for it? Just don't try to wrap me in your blanket.

This is how i feel lol
#20
Quote by the bartender
I'm just gonna get the bitchfight started by saying that anyone who takes the bible literally is a not so very clever person

The thing is though, even if you want to say that all the old testament fables are just allegories etc, you really can only be Christian in a very loose sense of the word if you don't think Jesus literally did his miracles, was born of a virgin, died and rose again three days later, ascended bodily into heaven etc etc.

I mean, they're considerably less far-fetched than the story of Noah say (just because they're considerably smaller events), but they're still in the same realm of wow-that-seems-very-unlikely.

This defense of "oh they're just allegories" for the tales that clearly can't be true (Noah and creation, say) really isn't much of a defense if you're still going to accept the essentially magic tale of the man born to a virgin, who raised the dead, walked on water, predicted the future, turned water to wine, came back from the dead, and flew up into heaven.

I just find it odd that saying "those stories were allegories" makes some Christian positions seem so much more reasonable when they still are pretty much unavoidably committed to Jesus' story, which is really just as fantastical.
#21
Quote by ProtoCosmos

A lot of people here (not most of you, necessarily!) are Christian, I take it.

Most of the pit are fedora enthusiasts who are utterly intolerant of religion, so no.
Those of you here, how many of you take the Bible as the literal word of God?

Read above.
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Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Apr 20, 2014,
#22
Quote by MadClownDisease
The thing is though, even if you want to say that all the old testament fables are just allegories etc, you really can only be Christian in a very loose sense of the word if you don't think Jesus literally did his miracles, was born of a virgin, died and rose again three days later, ascended bodily into heaven etc etc.

I mean, they're considerably less far-fetched than the story of Noah say (just because they're considerably smaller events), but they're still in the same realm of wow-that-seems-very-unlikely.

This defense of "oh they're just allegories" for the tales that clearly can't be true (Noah and creation, say) really isn't much of a defense if you're still going to accept the essentially magic tale of the man born to a virgin, who raised the dead, walked on water, predicted the future, turned water to wine, came back from the dead, and flew up into heaven.

I just find it odd that saying "those stories were allegories" makes some Christian positions seem so much more reasonable when they still are pretty much unavoidably committed to Jesus' story, which is really just as fantastical.

god works in mysterious ways yo
#24
Quote by Jackal58
I'm only an asshole when people attempt to use their faith to legislate the behavior of others. If a persons religious beliefs provide them comfort good for them. Who am I to belittle them for it? Just don't try to wrap me in your blanket.

Then don't try to murder unborn babies because you filthy cretins are having sex outside of wedlock and multiplying like rabbits before inevitably leeching off welfare
#25
And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food.” And it was so. Then God said, "For you must blaze it everyday for lest you be a fggt". And they did and it was good.
#27
I wouldn't consider myself religious, but I find religion interesting. I enjoy studying the history of religions.


I own several books on the histories of Christianity and Islam.
#28
Quote by Deliriumbassist
I don't read the Bible out of faith, but I enjoy Christian mythology in the same way I'm interested in Greek mythology.

I do agree with this though, yeah.

I think regardless of whether you think the Bible is actually true or from a divine source of not, it's a pretty amazing book. It's had a staggering impact on Western culture, and it's worth actually looking even if just for that.

And yeah in the same way we can get a lot out of Greek myths and fables, there is a lot of real substance to get out of the Bible, but it really needs to be taken with the same critical distance as any other mythology.
The Good Samaritan is a good story and has some real ethical value, but it should be take for what it is: a story.
#29
Quote by Jackal58
I'm only an asshole when people attempt to use their faith to legislate the behavior of others. If a persons religious beliefs provide them comfort good for them. Who am I to belittle them for it? Just don't try to wrap me in your blanket.

maybe i wasnt talking about u, doh
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#30
The Bible isn't really all that etiological, aside from a few stories here and there like the Tower of Babel. I don't like this poll.
Check out my band Disturbed
#31
Quote by Deliriumbassist
I don't read the Bible out of faith, but I enjoy Christian mythology in the same way I'm interested in Greek mythology.

I agree with this. I find religion very interesting, I just don't believe in it.
#32
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
Then don't try to murder unborn babies because you filthy cretins are having sex outside of wedlock and multiplying like rabbits before inevitably leeching off welfare

I have never seen it all summed up in one sentence before. I'm not even gonna bitch about commas.
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#33
Quote by Jackal58
I'm not even going to bitch about commas in that sentence.


There is no grammatical need for a comma in that sentence. You just can't read well, so you need it chopped up into smaller pieces, much the same way the lame need their food cut into pieces so that they don't choke and die, thus solidifying the fall of Darwinism, or at least our modern bastardized rendition of it.
Israel is a terrorist state.
#34
Quote by JD Close
There is no grammatical need for a comma in that sentence. You just can't read well, so you need it chopped up into smaller pieces, much the same way the lame need their food cut into pieces so that they don't choke and die, thus solidifying the fall of Darwinism, or at least our modern bastardized rendition of it.

Who cuts up your food for you?
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You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

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Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

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I can fap to this. Keep going.
#35
Quote by JD Close
There is no grammatical need for a comma in that sentence. You just can't read well, so you need it chopped up into smaller pieces, much the same way the lame need their food cut into pieces so that they don't choke and die, thus solidifying the fall of Darwinism, or at least our modern bastardized rendition of it.

sometimes I just really sincerely hope that someone is trolling

this is such an occasion
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#37
Quote by JD Close
thur si none needs fo correkt gamma on this sents. u jus cont red will si u need chopsueyd it mitch teh wai teh lome needs thur fud chopsueyd so tehy doesnt chalk and di this solid teh full of evolutionman ro at lest ur mods bassterded rontition off its.

I agree man, if someone can't understand you then it's because they can't read well.
#38
All in know is that I had to read a collection of tales from it in first year of highschool along with other works from that era like Oedipus the King for instance and I never want to go through that again. It was the driest, most boring waste of paper I had to read during my education so far.


I really liked some of the more modern works we had to read though. I only really suffered until we got past the French Revolution.

The revolution itself being part of the badass part of course.


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
Last edited by JamSessionFreak at Apr 20, 2014,
#39
I think it's ridiculous to think of the bible metaphorically


It's just a bad way to justify your agnosticism to actually religious people
#40
Quote by whywefight
I think it's ridiculous to think of the bible metaphorically


It's just a bad way to justify your agnosticism to actually religious people

I have no need to justify my faith or lack thereof to anybody. Why would my seeing the stories in the bible as metaphors be an attempt to justify anything?
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You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

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Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
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