#1
Hey guys,

this is the most recent song idea I came up with for my band.
I'm pretty proud of it, but I still think there's something missing to it.
helpful criticism is always appreciated. (:


Cheers
x
Attachments:
neueidee_290414.gp5
#2
i really liked that you didn't force dissonant chords or over complicating the rhythm. the song has good vibe, really like the groovy part. i believe "refrain" and "final chorus" are singing parts, but they're kinda boring, maybe making some arrangements in the drums or working the guitars can add some "meat" those sections. gj
#3
I would say that this demonstrates writing skills, but it uses them in a far over abused style that the world doesn't need any of. I don't mean to let my own personal taste show through in a critique, but I've listened to this music, I've enjoyed this music, and I've written this music, and all of the writing skill in the world is not going to help you create anything new or interesting in this style that already has a few thousands bands too many. If your band intends to create more metalcore music, then at the very least I would suggest pulling in influences and learning things from as many other styles as you can. There is indeed writing talent to be found here and an understanding of harmony, and building and releasing tension, and developing themes, but there is a limited tool set being used to accomplish those things.
#4
Now that's some advice I can use and hopefully elaborate on in my band's future works.
I know, riding the metalcore train is nothing too exciting and I strive to create something new to make it shine more in comparison to others, but I find that pretty hard to accomplish so far.
Either way, thanks for the remark!
#5
Now that's some advice I can use and hopefully elaborate on in my band's future works.
I know, riding the metalcore train is nothing too exciting and I strive to create something new to make it shine more in comparison to others, but I find that pretty hard to accomplish so far.
Either way, thanks for the remark!
#6
Ich denke, dass Sie viele gute Ideen haben und Sie haben die Musik Verstaendnis, eine gute Lied zu komponieren. Aber ich muss mit Macabre Turtle zustimmen. Ich denke, dass Sie mehr abenteuerlich mit diese Ideen komponieren koennen. Zum biespiel, die Schlagzueg folgen die Gitarre durch der Lied. Sie koennen mit mehr Ideen hier spielen, mehr gefuehl zu geben.

Sorry, I saw you were German and wanted to practice a little bit. I haven't been practicing in a year or so haha. The last bit probably doesn't make sense, I'm a little rusty. Basically I think playing around with different drum ideas can often add a lot to a song, and this one is no exception.

Another thing is that the song seems to follow a fairly commonly used pattern in terms of structure, I think straying from that a bit could liven things up. I don't really listen to metalcore, but it sounds like a perfectly executed metalcore song from what I've heard of the genre. That might be a good thing, or it might be a bad thing, depending on what you want. Like Macabre Turtle suggested, working in some more influences could mix things up.

All that said, I enjoyed it overall. It's really well done, I particularly thought the little lead of thirds around bar 50 was nice. The lead around bar 73 is good too, but maybe adding a little flair could liven it up, I added some 16ths at the last 8th note or quarter note of each bar and it sounded a little better I think. Bar 74 instead of just C#-G in 8ths I changed it to C#-G-A-G in sixteenths, sounds pretty cool. The solo fit the song perfectly as well.

Anyway, I'm done blabbering now, good work, keep experimenting!
#7
Well that wasn't too bad actually, though you wouldnt use the polite pronoun "Sie" hier, but rather the 2nd person singular which is "Du" ( unfortunately, english does not differentiate in terms of spelling)

Either way, thanks for your input too. I'm still struggling with songwriting especially when it comes to structure. I've been doing this on a serious basis for about a year now and there's still much space.
My band's still figuring out, what we wanna sound like and what we dont want.

Thanks alot !
#9
OK I like the intro and the dissonance there. I'd like to see more of that idea and throw in more "surprises" in the song, as it is it's at times a bit predictable (doesn't have to be a negative thing) but straight powerchords bar for bar as in the chorus maybe isn't the coolest thing ever and you can throw in many variations and keep the melody going. Maybe your bands vocals are great and carry the song? I obviously like the "full"/solo riff chugging. It does sound fairly Trivium sometimes Needs Bass!