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#1
http://www.nerve.com/love-sex/facts-about-masturbation

1. Masturbation has proven health benefits like stress management, healthier pelvic muscles, secretion of endorphins, and cardiovascular exercise.

2. National Masturbation Month was first celebrated in 1995 in honor of Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who was fired by President Bill Clinton for her statements supporting masturbation for sexual health.

3. Can you masturbate too much? According to legend, wanking too frequently can cause blindness, insanity, hairy palms, and stunted growth. The American Psychiatric Association says that unless masturbation is getting in the way of your everyday life (work, friendships, falafel), there is no such thing as too much self love.

4. Hold the Midol. Masturbating is one of the most effective natural ways to relieve menstrual cramps.

5. In London in 1716 a pamphlet called "Onania, or the Heinous Sin of self-Pollution, And All Its Frightful Consequences, In Both Sexes, Considered: With Spiritual and Physical Advice To Those Who Have Already Injured Themselves By This Abominable Practice," became hugely popular. It included supposed testimonials from men who were ill from masturbating. The pamphlet was translated into many languages and was published in 60 editions. It gave jerking off a bad rap for centuries.

6. Pretty much everyone does it. According to a 2010 study done, 94 percent of men admit to masturbating and 85 percent of women like to love themselves. (Which just means a lot of us are fooling ourselves.)

7. People who have sex regularly masturbate more than those who don't.

8. One of the first depictions of a female masturbating was found in a clay figurine in a temple in Malta. The figurine was from the 4th millennium BC. Masturbating is literally an ancient practice.

9. Even more health benefits: Studies show that masturbation lowers the risk of type-2 diabetes, lowers the risk of prostate cancer, reduces depressions, and prevents cervical infections in women. It also puts you right to sleep.

10. In 17th century Connecticut, masturbators were eligible for the death penalty. Yet another reason why I don't live in Connecticut.

11. Human aren't the only ones to itch the ditch. Deer, monkeys, walruses, and squirrels have been documented pleasuring themselves. Scientists have even observed female apes using sticks for added pleasure.

12. Catching a cold? Orgasms from masturbation can strengthen your immune system.

13. In the nineteenth century, vibrators were only used by physicians, and served the sole medical purpose of curing hysteria — a diagnosis thrust upon "difficult women." Thanks, Victorians.

14. The Kama Sutra, the ancient Indian Hindu sex manual from 400 BC included instructions for masturbating: "Churn your instrument with a lion's pounce: sit with legs stretched out at right angles to one another, propping yourself up with two hands planted on the ground between in them, and it between your arms."

15. Masturbators report having happier marriages (and lives!) than those who refuse to twirl the pearl.

16. In 1874, Mark Twain gave a lecture about jerking off. It was a silly satire of the contemporary religious conservative's ban on masturbation. Think of Mark Twain as the Stephen Colbert of wanking.

17. More than 41 percent of people have been accidentally caught servicing themselves. 13-year-olds: you are not alone.

18. Mutually masturbating with a partner is one of the few sex acts that runs no risk of STD transmission or pregnancy.

19. It's hard to nail down when the first porn ever landed on the internet, but in 1994, Gary Kremen blessed all horny web surfers when he registered the domain Sex.com, considered to be the first dirty site ever.

20. There are absolutely no health risks to masturbation (besides a little chafing). Getting on the subway everyday is more dangerous.





time to celebrate!
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
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#2
You realise that this is UG and for the people here every month is masturbation month
You hit 'em and they get back up
I hit 'em and they stay down
- Frank Castle
#4
Quote by cha33 armstrong
You realise that this is UG and for the people here every month is masturbation month

I may, in fact, realize this better than anyone.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#5


Self-love is never a bad thing in my book.

Just don't get caught. Be more careful for ****'s sake
#6
cheers lol

now were going to get everyone posting about how much they jerk off, glad i saw this thread early
Quote by Nelsean
Lil B, the young based god, has the ability to create music so profound, that others around him cannot even comprehend his magnificent verbal progressive nature.

Quote by The_Blode
^ oh hey y'all females...welcome !
#8
14. The Kama Sutra, the ancient Indian Hindu sex manual from 400 BC included instructions for masturbating: "Churn your instrument with a lion's pounce: sit with legs stretched out at right angles to one another, propping yourself up with two hands planted on the ground between in them, and it between your arms."


Brb.
#10
Quote by Dregen
where can i pick up a copy of this "Kama Sutra"

every bookstore ever
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#11
when it's this big and being a grower, having all this blood expanding everything for so long and then having jerk sessions lasting a few hours before finishing, there are definitely health risks. thing gets super sore but you won't feel it until about an hour after orgasm #2 when the euphoria and numbness wears off. also had a few minor 'tearing' incidents on sensitive skin sections from going at it too long.

limit myself now, not some kid with nothing better to do anymore.


yeah sure the odd quick one is harmless, but I don't believe in doing things halfheartedly.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#12
It's also masturbation month.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#13
Quote by vintage x metal
every bookstore ever


well

i know what i'm asking my mother for this christmas
#14
4. Huh it always makes my cramps a lot worse and I barely have cramps for 2 hours normally anyway. Oh well
cat
#18
Quote by guitarxo
4. Huh it always makes my cramps a lot worse and I barely have cramps for 2 hours normally anyway. Oh well

really? I almost always flick the bean a bit the first morning or two of my period to help alleviate cramps. Something about clitoral stimulation makes my abdominal muscles and vaginal walls relax a lot. Sex sometimes helps but I also have an incredibly strong vasovagal response during my cycle so if I get too stimulated vaginally I'll pass out


Quote by Thrashtastic15
7. People who have sex regularly masturbate more than those who don't.


counter-point: the pit

Maybe it only applies to those over 18 I know when I was living at home I masturbated a lot because I had nothing better to do. Now I have plenty to do but on top of having sex twice a day generally I need some 'me time'.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#19
dont knock masturbation, it's sex with someone i love
-woody allen
Quote by JacobTheMe
JacobTheEdit: Hell yeah Ruben.

Quote by Jackal58
I met Jesus once. Cocksucker still owes me 20 bucks.
#21
Quote by vintage x metal
really? I almost always flick the bean a bit the first morning or two of my period to help alleviate cramps. Something about clitoral stimulation makes my abdominal muscles and vaginal walls relax a lot. Sex sometimes helps but I also have an incredibly strong vasovagal response during my cycle so if I get too stimulated vaginally I'll pass out


Yeah haha I'm a bit weird. Don't even notice my period most of the time (I mean obviously I know it's there but i never think about it), I only have cramps on the morning of my 3rd day, and the rest of the time I don't want to eat or drink more than once a day and if anyone touches me (even non sexually) I feel like kicking them but I don't because that's not very nice.
cat
#22
Does anyone here ever get disappointing wanks, where you've been edging for like half an hour and you think it's gonna be a big one but then it's really disappointing.
#23
Quote by lemmyisgod97
Does anyone here ever get disappointing wanks, where you've been edging for like half an hour and you think it's gonna be a big one but then it's really disappointing.


Dat 8/10 jerk with that 3/10 finish feels, mang ;_;
ayy lmao
#24
Quote by WaterGod
Jesus Christ who is this beautiful woman? I have to masturbate to her!

Irina Shayk




Quote by guitarxo
Yeah haha I'm a bit weird. Don't even notice my period most of the time (I mean obviously I know it's there but i never think about it), I only have cramps on the morning of my 3rd day, and the rest of the time I don't want to eat or drink more than once a day and if anyone touches me (even non sexually) I feel like kicking them but I don't because that's not very nice.

You may also have strong vagal responses Maybe a hot tub then so you don't have to touch anyone or feel too many sudden movements

Though period hot tub sounds not so fun
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#25
Quote by lemmyisgod97
Does anyone here ever get disappointing wanks, where you've been edging for like half an hour and you think it's gonna be a big one but then it's really disappointing.

that means you jerk off too much, you need some down time bro
Quote by Nelsean
Lil B, the young based god, has the ability to create music so profound, that others around him cannot even comprehend his magnificent verbal progressive nature.

Quote by The_Blode
^ oh hey y'all females...welcome !
#29
3. there is no such thing as too much self love.

I know from experience this isn't true.

20. There are absolutely no health risks to masturbation (besides a little chafing). Getting on the subway everyday is more dangerous.

What about masturbating on the subway?
#30
Quote by Thrashtastic15
You over-estimate this place.

Idk, my studies have shown that even UGers in relationships are more willing to skin their carrots for me. But my studies are limited
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#31
Quote by KingChris90
Me too. High five!


Just be sure to use the right hand.

EDIT: pun unintended, but it's a funny double entendre so i'll leave it there
#32
A whole month? *looks at wiener* You up for this challenge?
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#33
what a great month for my friend to challenge me to not jack off for a month
Quote by lolmnt
We're better than Mexico cuz we rule USA USA USA
#34
^ We'll do it for you


(without you, that is)
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#36
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#37
Quote by vintage x metal
Idk, my studies have shown that even UGers in relationships are more willing to skin their carrots for me. But my studies are limited

Yeah, I wouldn't put any money on it is all. That lemmy kid would be an instant defeat.
#38
Quote by Thrashtastic15
Yeah, I wouldn't put any money on it is all. That lemmy kid would be an instant defeat.

That kid is just hilarious to tease on the forums because he's an idiot Sorry lemmy
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#40
Quote by KingChris90
kate upton gifs please.

im to lazy too find one myself.

if you're looking for balloon boobs, don't come to me. I'm sure at least one of your hands can copy and paste from your post to the searchbar.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

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