#1
So I somehow managed to get a gap inbetween study hours to record this big boy. Production on cleans is lame, but keep in mind it's just a demo recorded with my phone!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81u0lQO-RVU

Also, if you liked it, it would be awesome if you subscribed, that way you can stay tuned to my new things!

Thanks for watching!
#2
Really nice stuff you have there! The guitar work is just amazing.

I just didn't like that bell you used in some parts, even though the idea of using it is nice, the one you chose doesn't fit well in the song, maybe you could use something with a more bright tone.

Also the percussion at 6:10 is a little bit weird.
#3
Thanks man! Really appreciate it

Yeah, all instruments that aren't guitar may sound weird because they're midi converted to mp3, but I'll try to get me some drum software this summer after I finish finals.

I know, I tried to make it kind of exotic with the bongos and stuff, but it ended up sounding bad (reason above)
#4
Intro drum sound is cool, not digging the bell. The guitar work in this is really awesome! The distorted guitar is awesome, love the tone. Not the biggest fan of your lead tone ,but its still pretty decent. The composition of this piece is amazing!!!! IF it was recorded with better quality, this would be badass. Heck, it still is!!!
#5
Thanks for the comment man!
Yeah, I'll try to think of something for the bells, maybe it's the midi what makes them sound bad. What would you suggest me for the lead tone? I don't like it at some points either but I can't pinpoint what's off.
Also, thank you for the compliments, I'm glad you liked it!
#6
I think I might have commented on someone else's thread while listening to this. I've definitely heard it before.

Well, here we go. The intro is a bit unsettling. The drums sound very flat, but I'm assuming that's just because of how you recorded them. The bass that comes in is awesome. Not sure what I feel about the distorted guitars right after that, but the cleans are very cool afterwards. Perhaps a bit dry though? When the distorted guitars come in again, they have a much better and more epic effect. Did you really record the guitars with your phone? They sound pretty good. Nice solo playing as well. Drums sound much better in the second half of the song.

I like the change at around 4:37.

The "pump" at around 5:40 sounds a bit flat with these drums, but I bet it would rock with live drums. The guitars at around 6:10 sound a bit St. Vincent-ey

Definitely a very interesting piece you've got yourself here.
#7
I'm kinda curious to know where you posted the review lol

Yeah, the drum quality is really poor, I'd love to have it recorded on real drums, hope I'll be able to soon.
Thanks about the bass, I thought it was horrible tbh lol.
Oh, the first guitar that comes in before the drums start is supposed to sound like that, I took out the bass so then it all comes together with the riff.
I'm not too good on mixing cleans either, I guess I'll get better with time!
I do record guitars with my phone, I'm just that poor lol.
Also, thanks for the kind words!

Thank you again for the review man, I really enjoyed reading it!
#8
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#9
Victor,
American Indian drum beat on intro it seems (I can see them dancing), with church bell; interesting combination. Now human choir.....sounds odd after hearing the Indian drum beat. I like the Indian drum beat by itself, but I don't feel it fits with the metal portion of the song. I like parts of the song. At 4:34 it sounds like a new song, I like that riff. Please review my music at this link:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1644426
#10
The intro reminds me of early DOS game's music.
I don't think it really blends well when the guitar part comes in.
The guitar part is pretty cool, could used some bass to really thicken up the part.

The first three sections so far just seem thrown together.
The clean leads nicely into the guitar only part. There is a high pitched sequel at this part that is really distracting.


The build up was great into the guitars, the choir fit nicely. I would try to incorporate the part at 2:14's melody over the previous part so the transition wouldn't be so harsh.

The harsh transfers really make the song seem like a compilation of random ideas that are in the same key.

The leads at 2:40 are kind of cool, reminds me of old school metal.

The rhythms at 3:30 remind me of a Mastodon riff. The leads could use some work, they seem pretty flat and don't really carry the song anywhere. The more faster parts sound really sloppy and out of key. The end is also awkward since it fades out very fast.

4:09 sounds like thunderhorse??

Is the part at 4:33 a new song?
The cleans don't seem as clean or on time as they could be. Makes the panning really awkward.

I really like the part at 6:04 I was waiting for another solo heavy with diminished licks.

I feel like the song structure needs a major overhaul. Sorry If I seem too harsh. Just keep working at it man

Thanks for taking the time to critique my tracks by the way.
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#11
@BlaineByrnside Totally agree with you man. Could not have explained it better. (wat)

@aaron aardvark: I know, I just tried to make a proggy thing, maybe it's too forced, I'll work on it this summer as I'll have a lot of free time. I'll check out your song as soon as I can!

@Kyleisthename: Yeah, the recording quality is pretty lame, I'll try to get better recordings this summer.
You got some nice ideas, I'll definitely think of them for the next update!
Also, I don't think you were too harsh. I like when people is honest to me 'cause I just want to improve as a songwriter so I'm thankful for you comment man!

Thank you everyone!
#12
Thanks for your review!

Well, I agree with Kyleisthename on many things. I listened to it MANY times and I couldn't figure out much of the structure around 4:30. I'm really into long instrumentals which have many sections and harmonic changes (I've composed a few myself :P), but I feel yours needs less 'generic' riffing and a LOT more easily recognizable melodies and riffs to be explored (last half of the track mostly), SOLOS, repetition, and little variations to some of those repetitions to generate expectation and walk the fine line between being totally predictable (boring) and totally unpredictable (too confusing). Those extremes are most of the times NOT good, at least to my ears. If it is intended to be a game soundtrack (which it quite sounds like!), it's fine to be really predictable and not to add too much complexity to the music, because you're not really paying attention to nuances in the track, you're playing and the music has a functional purpose.
But if it is a standalone track and you want to keep your listener interested through a good 7 min track, you've gotta have a lot to show and arrange it well to make it happen.

For example, that repeated harmonic minor melody was quite recognizable and was a reference point throughout the track. Your track needs more of that kind of stuff!

Liked the riff which at first sounds like triplets but it's just 16th notes in groups of 3. Tempo changes were cool and did not feel forced (you repeated them, so they did not feel unexpected after a while). Sound quality was actually good for a phone! Cleans were not at all bad. Hope you keep working on it! Cheers!
#13
Really digging your style man. Not a lot to complain about for me, but there are a few things I would like to point out. First of all, the transition between the double lead section and the riff at around 2:56 sounded a little abrupt to me. Maybe you could expand on that lead section to make it transition a little smoother? Also, from 4:30 onward sounds like it could be it's own song all on it's own, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. However, I think that if you figured out a way to make the change flow better, it would fit perfectly with the whole epic feel of the song. Overall production could be a little better, but that's to be expected with demos. Overall, I thought the song was awesome. When I first saw the length of it I wasn't too sure, but you pulled it off! btw loved the riffs at 2:00 - 2:23, headbanging was insued :P
#14
@JP50: Yeah, the change around 4:30 is a little unexpected. Got it, but do you mean I should use more melodies like the second half of the song or that the second half of the song is what needs variations?
Anyway, I get what you mean (signature riffs right?) and I'll try to carry it out on next projects! Thanks a lot man!

@kipstan: Definitely, I mean, there was a bar with the pounding drums but as it didn't fit I decided to take it out. It still feels a little forced so I'll try to think of something!
Yeah, that part has been one of the most debated in this thread lol, I'll definitely come up with something better when I have time!

Also, thanks for the kind words, I'm glad you guys enjoyed it (or part of it at least )!

#15
Hmm, very interesting to say the least. Some cool riffage going on in there, I think the bells are a bit too much all over the song though. Your tone isn't too bad obviously considering its a demo quality thing, but it sounds pretty good! I don't usually listen to metal but at least you stuff is also melodic. I enjoyed the guitar solos the most, as they were the most creative aspect of the song and had the best tone and recorded quality.
Keep on pickin man! Thanks for reviewing my track
#16
This sounds really good.

The Change to bring the heavey guitar back in at 2:00 ish is a little abrupt - it almost sounds like 2 different tracks have been glued together.

The double kick roll seems to have a low end build up that makes it loose its clarity. It might be possible to take some of that out using a gate.

Unlike some of the other people above, I kinda like the Bell. Reminds me of "For Whom the Bell Tolls"

I like the Chamber style vocal elements too, they sound good - Where did you get that sound from (would like to get my hands on something similar ).

Overall - really nice piece of work.

Cheers
#18
at around 5:00 where it keeps stopping , where its silent the bass could go Dun na Dun ( like ---7--8--7--) of whatever key your in.
#19
@devilzdj4: Thanks a lot man! I like my metal a little melodic trying not to take away too much of the heaviness. Also, you're welcome, your music is great!

@RabidBagdger: I know I suck at transitions, but curiously this one was intended to sound like that (clean guitars ringing out and then the distortion punches you in the face lol)
The drums would sound definitely better with a more realistic drum software, I'll try to investigate on it this summer, I promise
I think you're the first to like the bell lol. Also, for the choirs, I just used 'Choir aaah's' on GP5 and then converted the midi with solmire using the Chorium thingy, I bet you didn't think it would be so simple

@SONNY MUNSON: Very nice idea for the bass, I'll definitely use it. Thanks for subscribing too!

Thanks everyone for the comments, they're really helpful!
#20
Thanks for checking out my stuff.

As regards to the song you've got up here, I would say that prior to about 1.40 could easily be cut and it wouldn't detract from the overall song, because the build up on the cleans and the choir sound at like 1.50 would easily be a good start to the song. Other than that, obviously the sound quality isn't great but recorded well I think it's definitely got potential!
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