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#1
I know this sounds bad, like really bad. I don't want to hear "you shouldn't" or "if there is a problem tell an adult" alright. I don't want to die, become deathly ill, or anything that could possibly kill me. I just need to become ill for a few to get out of something. I'm sorry if this breaks but its important and urgent
#3
Get your foot run over by a car or something

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#6
EDIT: wrote a serious response projecting my own past hardships, then realized some kid is trying to get out of an algebra final.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
Last edited by snipelfritz at May 20, 2014,
#7
chicken-curry left un-refrigerated for a day or so will do the trick.. you will feel very bad tho.. at least until you puke, afterwards it will be much better.

whats so unpleasant that you'd rather be sick if i may ask?
Quote by psyks
You are filthy.
#8
Quote by cheyenne.gebo.7
I know this sounds bad, like really bad. I don't want to hear "you shouldn't" or "if there is a problem tell an adult" alright. I don't want to die, become deathly ill, or anything that could possibly kill me. I just need to become ill for a few to get out of something. I'm sorry if this breaks but its important and urgent


Lying is better than getting yourself sick.
My Soundcloud

My beginner rig:

Epiphone Goth G-400 SG
Line 6 Spider IV (Don't judge me, I was young and stupid)
Stagg SW203N
Yamaha APX500
#9
Ah, the age old struggle of new users posting: do I troll and risk scaring them away or do I just not answer because what they're asking is ******ed?
#10
Oh wait. I totally misread this thread. LOL. I thought TS was being serious.

Bro, haven't you seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off? Shine the lamp on your forehead. Instant temperature!
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#14
if you would prefer to actually be sick rather than lie about being sick (which is totally doable) then take laxatives for a bit. your diarrhea will be so intense you'll have to stay home away from whatever you're scared of and it'll be pretty convincing cause you'll be having a miserable time and look dreadful. be sure to drink lots of water if you do this though. dehydration via diarrhea is a real issue.

if you can't get your hands on some laxatives and need to make due with what you have at home, find some glycerin and put that in your butt. thank me later.
i don't know why i feel so dry
#15
Fill your bathtub with water and submerge your head in it for 40 minutes. After that period you'll get the symptoms of a heavy cold. It's so easy, you should totally try it
#17
Have sex with some guy with AIDs
'And after a while, you can work on points for style.
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake,
A certain look in the eye and an easy smile.'

'You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to,
So that when they turn their backs on you,
You'll get the chance to put the knife in.'
#18
Read colohue's profile.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#20
OK, now all the advice about getting sick is given, I'm going to address the elephant in the room....


Why the f***k would you need to be sick?
And how are you incapable of faking it like other children? (I'm assuming you're a child because of the dumb nature of your question)
Come back if you want to
And remember who you are
‘Cause there's nothing here for you my dear
And everything must pass
#21
I have never been able to fake it. So I understand his problem. One needs a real illness to fake being sick.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#22
Smear your own semen in your eyes so they turn red and up your nose so it becomes clogged.

Alternatively drink bleach but just not enough to kill you.
#23
You fake chest pains. You don't have to look like shit to have chest pains

And then when you do it again and your mum calls your bluff and takes you to hospital, try to have a really enlarged heart like I did so you really should have been having chest pains and then she'll feel like a bitch for not believing you.
#24
How to ill:
1) red marker
2) boiling kettle + oral thermometer
3) acting
4) ???
5) Profit !!!

All depends on your believability. Boy who cried wolf, etc.
#25
Quote by willT08
You fake chest pains. You don't have to look like shit to have chest pains

And then when you do it again and your mum calls your bluff and takes you to hospital, try to have a really enlarged heart like I did so you really should have been having chest pains and then she'll feel like a bitch for not believing you.




sometimes honesty is best. where-ever it is you must go or whatever it is you should do, just tell them to **** off and enjoy your day. if it's too important to tell them to **** off, then get off your lazy ass and do what you are supposed to do.



also, is that you in your avatar? i know this awesome trick that will make you look like you're pregnant
Quote by psyks
You are filthy.
#26
I don't need to tell you why, but faking an illness won't work and no its not because of some testing or anything school related
#28
Quote by cheyenne.gebo.7
I don't need to tell you why, but faking an illness won't work and no its not because of some testing or anything school related

lies...

yes it will

You're a liar!
#30
Why register with a guitar forum to ask how to make yourself sick? You get booted from everywhere else?
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#32
Quote by cheyenne.gebo.7
No Duffman it won't. Why lie to a person I don't know


Quote by cheyenne.gebo.7
I don't need to tell you why, but...



The same reason you're withholding trivial information from people you don't know.

If there's a problem, tell an adult. They might know how to get you sick.
#33
Quote by angusfan16
OP probably has a date and doesn't know what to do

He could just keep his hands off of his willie.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#34
Just say you have a stomach ache. No one can see a stomach ache. They are also really easy to fake.

Source: I hated my piano teacher and used to fake a stomach ache halfway through my lesson maybe once a month or so and he didn't want a kid throwing up on the piano or something so he let me leave early
cat
#39
You aren't very helpful people. And for why I need to become ill is to avoid this certain person who wants to do a certain thing to me but I'm underage and not interested in them.
#40
Get fish oil tablets, the ones that have liquid inside, bite into the tablet and you are guaranteed to puke all over the place, my mum gave me fish oil tablets when I was a kid and one day I accidentally bit into one and I puked.
Edit: This thread just got 2sirius4me ^
Last edited by lemmyisgod97 at May 20, 2014,
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