#1
from soft soil,
you craft me. you
write me out, gingerly,
onto sour pages;
i rub my back against their woody notes
until i am fragrant with sap.

years go by. i watch
your face wane as you detail
my sides, articulate the slope of my nose,
place quirks in my personality
with obtuse angles; you grind down
the toenails and place hunger in my stomach,
a thirst in my throat:

these are your final touches.

once finished,
you close my cover and rise decidedly.
towards the door you thicken;
and i wonder when i will see you again
as i curl my small legs up to my chest.

years go by. i am mature now,
nearly two decades old;
my sides creak from cracked, knobby leather;
my skin is yellowed and thin: i am
washed out from so much sun
from the east window;

idly, i have my read my story
over and over again,
pressing my fingertips to the sentences
you inscribed me into so long ago;
and i sense myself with a numb vision,
a blurry touch, for i only know
i exist: never what i mean
or where i go in between these dusty jackets.

only you know the life i have taken.
where once you put me, i remain;

and for years, i have awaited
some great occurrence,
where i unfold like a evening primrose,
stretching until i am full
in the dark between these pages,
finally speaking my own language.


#2
Apart from the 5th stanza, I really like this. Personally, I believe that this poem will have a bit more impact if you gave a hint of whom the "you" is; the first time that I read this, I thought you were referring to a lover. But, I do understand, that you may have done this just to give the readers the opportunity to come up with their own conclusions about what the poem might represent. I especially like the lines "only you know the life i have taken.
where once you put me, i remain", it definitely deserves to be a stand-alone couplet and - most importantly - I can relate to it very well.

The reason why I don't like the 5th stanza is because it doesn't add anything to the poem, imho. It also reads slightly awkwardly in parts, especially "A blurry touch, for i only know
i exist: never what i mean."

But, as I said, I really enjoyed this piece as a whole. It is quite different to some of your more recent output, yet you still did a great job with it.
#3
thanks. i may agree with your point here. i am trying to express so sort of loneliness and alienation towards the end but can't seem to nail it down at the moment. i wish the ending had more an impact.