I like the synths in the intro, but it intro breakdown is tame and doesn't fit. Followed by a pedal riff, generic but it does make more sense in context. At 34, if you change the higher chord to 768 it fits the progression better, but I'm still not shure the following 2 bars work as well (I found a way to fix it: change the lower chord to 56 and the higher one to 11 10 11, now it fits). The next riff sounds good, but you could turn it a little more demented. Also the tom hits are completely off-beat on this part. 58 to 61 feels underdeveloped and filler-ish. Reintro, works. And then comes the dreaded open string chugging, meh.
Overal the song has a few good parts: the synth intro, and although generic, the pedal riff works and is catchy. I like the idea you had with the dissonant part, but it stands out too much from the rest. The breakdowns were the low point of the song, and they don't work either as an intro or outro.

Here you go: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1644063
Last edited by Ometh at May 27, 2014,