#1
Disclaimer: I like animals, I prefer cats to dogs and would probably not own a dog myself, but I get along with and enjoy the company of friends' dogs. This isn't just a rant from some animal/dog-hater/abuser/whatever invectives get hurled at me

I'm housesitting at the moment and the two dogs in this house are the most annoying creatures I've ever encountered. The younger one regularly goes to the toilet inside the house and will destroy literally anything within its reach while I'm at work. It constantly tries to steal food from me, lick me, etc and will constantly bug me whenever it doesn't have my attention (barking, whining, licking, jumping, etc). The older dog is a slightly toned down version but with more biting.

Within a week these dogs destroyed - 6 out of 7 coasters, a bunch of heating vent covers, a bunch of stuff I can't even tell what it was because it's so chewed up, a few mugs, two sets of (my) headphones, and an internet cable (it destroyed this on the first night while I was mid-game... I would have thrown the thing out the fucking window if I wasn't getting pummeled in that game haha). They also rip up any toilet paper and normal paper within reach and leave my clothes all around the house. I've gotten better at keeping stuff away from them but still, I'll have lapses like leaving an unopened packet of cigarettes on the table while I go to the toilet and coming back to find it opened and half the cigs shredded

I started keeping them locked outside. This is fine during the day when I'm at work but obviously when I'm home and they're outside I have to deal with constant barking, whining, howling and running at the door so it's nearly as bad as having them inside unless I turn the TV up so loud it vibrates and fucks the sound quality.

The home-owner's just like 'yeah you can't leave anything out, it'll get destroyed - I've had to replace the curtains twice!' with a laugh like 'oh this is just what all dogs do'. She actually said 'if they've torn up a bunch of stuff give them treats and they'll stop'. I should have just pulled out of the house-sitting when I heard that but until now I didn't know how bad untrained dogs can be.

Really I can condense this into a couple questions:

1 - How can I communicate to these vile fiends that I fucking hate them and thereby discourage them from constantly trying to get my attention, licking me, jumping on me, etc
2 - Is there any way to shut them the fuck up? Can they be trained at all in the space of a week? I will happily do absolutely anything except (unfortunately) take them to the pound or do something brutal enough to be illegal.


The main priorities are that they a) stay away from me and b) shut up; keeping them from destroying stuff is no longer such a big deal since I put everything away and lock them outside. Oh and the other thing is keeping them from terrorising the cat whenever they see it. I don't know what system the home-owner uses for feeding the cat, because just leaving her food results in one dog wrestling with her while the other eats all the food, and the owner details no other method. I guess she just doesn't eat.
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#2
kick them?

I'll be honest

I didn't read it

I'm sorry
Last edited by Bladez22 at May 29, 2014,
#4
It's not about punishments, you need to use positive reinforcement.

Peanut butter to the balls.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#6
Quote by snipelfritz
It's not about punishments, you need to use positive reinforcement.

Peanut butter to the balls.



Sail upon the open skies
#8
find a way to deplete their energy, like take em for a walk or tie their leash to a treadmill
bawitaba a bang a bang diggy diggy diggy sed the boogie sed up jump the boogie
#9
I'm not reading all that but just google behaviorism and operant conditioning and get a rudimentary knowledge of it and sort it out.
#10
A cage.

you lock them in a cage (separately), give them a rubber dog toy to amuse themselves (I don't know about where you are but there is a thing called a Kong, It's this rubber beehive shaped thing that you fill with dry dog food, they go nuts for them) and water and they generally will be better behaved.

My mother is a professional dog trainer, you remember this stuff after hearing it on the phone twice a week.

EDIT: If they're west Highland White Terriers you're ****ed mate, those little things are the worst ****ing dogs in existence.
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
Last edited by Pastafarian96 at May 29, 2014,
#11
I actually went back and read it because I felt like a bit of a twat

I don't really know much about dogs or how to train them, but the chewing is something that pretty much all young dogs do, its near enough impossible to stop until they get a bit older and you can train them properly

Living with dogs is a little like living with a small child, you have to be careful with what you leave out and shit because they're generally clumsy and destructive little things

my advice would be to read some books/internet articles on how to train them, and just be a little bit more patient with them
#12
Play fetch with them, take them for a walk, do anything to tire them out. Dogs (some breeds more than others) need an outlet for their energy and will be little shits if there isn't a constructive way for them to expend it. These dogs don't sound very well trained (especially peeing/pooping in the house) but all dogs need that kind of attention. Locking them outside or ignoring them is going to make it even worse. I'm assuming you're being paid to housesit; do your job and take care of the dogs. They're included in the house, and while it won't be as easy as housesitting somewhere without pets, I'm assuming you knew you'd have to watch after the dogs when you agreed to it so they're still your responsibility unfortunately.
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Highway One Tele (w/Custom Shop 51 Nocaster pickups)
Standard Tele (modded to Nashville specs)
Reverend Roundhouse

Orange Rockerverb 50 MKI
Vox AC4c1
Jet City JCA20H

And pedals!



"Shiva opens her arms now..
...to make sure I don't get too far"
#13
Quote by barden1069
Play fetch with them, take them for a walk, do anything to tire them out. Dogs (some breeds more than others) need an outlet for their energy and will be little shits if there isn't a constructive way for them to expend it. These dogs don't sound very well trained (especially peeing/pooping in the house) but all dogs need that kind of attention. Locking them outside or ignoring them is going to make it even worse. I'm assuming you're being paid to housesit; do your job and take care of the dogs. They're included in the house, and while it won't be as easy as housesitting somewhere without pets, I'm assuming you knew you'd have to watch after the dogs when you agreed to it so they're still your responsibility unfortunately.


i can't take them for a walk. the owner thought it necessary to warn me 'walking them is more trouble than it's worth'. considering she didn't think it necessary to warn me what they're like around the house, there's no way i want to find out what they're like outside of it.

i'm not being paid, but irrelevant, as you are right, i did accept the responsibility. although if i had understood how badly untrained these dogs are and how bad it actually is to live with untrained dogs, i probably would have turned the gig down. i tried giving them attention for 2 weeks, playing fetch etc, but the food stealing continues, they never go off to 'do their own thing' (is it only cats that do this? i thought dogs were happy to have down time too), they still destroy everything they can. i'm at my wits end now. if she wants her dogs looked after she should have given them at least minimal training so they actually can be looked after. i can't think what else to do but lock them outside and drown them out with music until next friday when i can be free of them
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

The music winners listen to
#14
Well shit, I dunno what else you could do then. Sounds like you've done everything right and it's not working. I guess the best thing is to just try and get through it with minimal property damage and then never agree to house sit for them again. Good luck, and try to remember it's the owner's fault for not training them and not to get too mad at the dogs themselves (which is far easier said than done).
Gear
Highway One Tele (w/Custom Shop 51 Nocaster pickups)
Standard Tele (modded to Nashville specs)
Reverend Roundhouse

Orange Rockerverb 50 MKI
Vox AC4c1
Jet City JCA20H

And pedals!



"Shiva opens her arms now..
...to make sure I don't get too far"
#15
Quote by MHDrunk
The home-owner's just like 'yeah you can't leave anything out, it'll get destroyed - I've had to replace the curtains twice!' with a laugh like 'oh this is just what all dogs do'. She actually said 'if they've torn up a bunch of stuff give them treats and they'll stop'. I should have just pulled out of the house-sitting when I heard that but until now I didn't know how bad untrained dogs can be.

tell the home-owner that she hasn't a clue how to raise dogs and she should stop


the dogs have made it a habit to treat humans as their bitches. you'll need some dog whisperer shit to reverse that
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Last edited by Cianyx at May 30, 2014,