#1
Well it was a match, not a game.

Anyway, after losing or drawing every match prior to now, my team won our first match, and also the first match of the tournament, so we will advance. We were two men down as well. When I get out of the shower, I'll give a minute-by-minute rundown.

Congratulate me pit.
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#2
Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did you take out their female strikers?
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#4
who told him so?
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#5
Online tournaments are stupid and you should feel ashamed.
-The Crimson Fucker, aka PonyFan #376121
#7
Quote by metal4eva_22
Online tournaments are stupid and you should feel ashamed.


but it was real life
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#8
Quote by Trowzaa
but it was real life

He never said in the OP and I was trying to play off that.
-The Crimson Fucker, aka PonyFan #376121
#10
Quote by Baby Joel
When I get out of the shower, I'll give a minute-by-minute rundown.
Will you think about me while you're in there?
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#11
Quote by Wormholes
I hope this is some random irrelevant shite and not typical soccer shite.

do u mean football m8?
banned
#12
what game?
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#13
Alright so just a quick run over, it was a forty minute match, because none of us are professionals and none of us grew up playing it, etc etc. girls goals are also worth two points, because #YesAllWomen #TheStruggleIsReal (that's real pronounced the Spanish way, as in Real Madrid [hahah]). I'll skip over the boring bits as well where nothing happened. Ycan also sub in as many times as you want, because America and stuff.

We were down two men, so it started 9 v 11.

Our formation was a 3-3-2

0: kick off! The othe team started with the ball.
4: some decent attacks for the other team, none go anywhere. We're playing more defensively and started a bit sluggish.
5: one of our players somehow managed to level one of their girl strikers by walking into who slower than a snail. No foul is called, she walks off and doesn't return (seriously wtf, he barely touched her).
7: I and my teammate sub in, we are cb and rb respectively.
8: other team makes a good attack, we stop it. I pass to another defender, pressure, he passes to me, man on, I pass back to the keeper, who was a decent keeper but a crap kicker. He goes to clear it and it barely makes it out of the box (seriously this isn't primary school anymore), more pressure, we clear the ball.
12: our midfielder goes all the way with the ball, stops at the right corner, comes back, takes a long shot from the side, and it sails in. 1-0 for us.
15: I get subbed out
17: same player does the same thing, and gets the same goal
20: theres the half!

21: we start with the ball
23: some really good attacks from us, we are starting to really play well
24: goal! One of our girls gets an amazing goal off a cross. Thats 4-0 for us
25: I get subbed in
28: they make a great attack, and a great cross. I get in there and get the ball. As I'm trying to clear it, Im on my wrong foot and am unable to get past a player, who deflects my clear. One of their players gets it and scores. I was gutted. 4-1
32: foul called from a hard tackle (from me because I can and it was the right play to do). Player takes the free kick and misses, we clear the ball and regain possession.
34: I get subbed out and our team coincidentally falls to pieces.
36: handball called on our player, inside the penalty box (ouch). Penalty taken, it goes in. 4-2
39: idiot defensive player lets two guys get passed him, player takes the shot and it sails in. 4-3
40: there's the whistle! We won
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#15
lol at your second half

#thecollapseisreal
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#17
Quote by sickman411
Either your second or third goal is missing.

It was a girl that scored, and girls goals are worth two.

Also you'll be happy to know that the Portuguese lad on our team played really really well for us.
Quote by Trowzaa
lol at your second half

#thecollapseisreal

Hah I know, it got so crap. Our biggest problem was we didn't have any girls to sub in, so our girls had to play the whole time, which really none of us are in shape to do. Or second biggest problem was that crap defender who let the guys get past him in the 39th minute. He honestly played pretty crap.
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#18
Quote by sickman411
...

harsh mate. And I'll let you know that the real collapse was when I got subbed out at the 34th minute
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#20
#YesAllWomen
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#21
Quote by Baby Joel
girls goals are also worth two points, because #YesAllWomen #TheStruggleIsReal (that's real pronounced the Spanish way, as in Real Madrid [hahah])

___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#22
So apparently this wasn't actually part of the tournament, but because we're one of the four worst teams, we had to beat this match in order to actually qualify for the tournament we're going to get wrecked so hard once the tournament happens. Next math is Thursday, and I'll be sure to let you know how it goes because thisis important
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#24
Quote by metal4eva_22
Online tournaments are stupid and you should feel ashamed.

not if you make tons of $$$
#26
I'll play for you for £10 p/w, plus a £5 appearance fee. I'd also like a clean sheet bonus of £20.

For this low price, you'll get a solid centre-back/defensive midfielder.

Where do I sign?
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
#27
Have you ever heard of Gary Goals? You should try signing him. He's scored goals all over the place but mostly in Ireland. He's top class, but he doesn't do rolling subs.
The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.