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#1
Copied from some brilliant mother****er on my cousin's facebook feed (hint: it was me)

"Soccer" you mean the most kafkaesque and absurdly hopeless existential metaphor ever conceived by man.

"What do I dooooo!?!?!?!"
"Get the ball in the thing!"
"How?"
"With your feet!"
"Sorry, I mean why?"
"Ugggghhhhhh, just do it, then seem happy because."
"I don't understand!"
"Shut up, your country is poor. You should be gracious that we invented this game and brought it to you."

MUAHAHAHA

Our sports are dumb because rules, yours are dumb because you cant comprehend how ****ing stupid your own human condition is.

#murrca

#JebBush2016

#Keepmurrcamurrcan

#****FagsButNotInTheGayWay

heh heh heh heh.

i'm the decider.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#3
stop taking drugs m8

football is best sport
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#4
Quote by sam b
Worst thread of 2014

Good job TS.

Why is your avatar crying, because he realized his own existential dilemma is insolvable?

"Why do I get ball in goal, WHY? Because other people try to stop it??? But that's circular, WWWWHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY??????????"
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#5
Quote by snipelfritz
Why is your avatar crying, because he realized his own existential dilemma is insolvable?

"Why do I get ball in goal, WHY? Because other people try to stop it??? But that's circular, WWWWHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY??????????"


wow that's way too deep man
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#6
what's the meaning of life tho?
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#7
Quote by snipelfritz
Why is your avatar crying, because he realized his own existential dilemma is insolvable?

"Why do I get ball in goal, WHY? Because other people try to stop it??? But that's circular, WWWWHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY??????????"

You're trying waaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy too hard. It's actually embarrassing
#8
+1Soccer iz gay and sux
The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.
#10
Quote by the bartender
what's the meaning of life tho?

I don't know. But I can tell you its certainly not "kick a round thing into here."
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#11
Quote by snipelfritz
I don't know. But I can tell you its certainly not "kick a round thing into here."


how can you tell that?
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#12
Quote by SMH07
+1Soccer iz gay and sux

Nah, gay guys don't try to get the ball INSIDE, just right up to the entrance, y'know.

Really that could go for any guys who plays top in any sort of relationship.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#13
Quote by snipelfritz
I don't know. But I can tell you its certainly not "kick a round thing into here."

but if you don't know what it is how can you know what it is not?

you must have some clues about what it actually is then
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#14
Quote by JohnnyGenzale
how can you tell that?

bro, you ever read Camus?

I haven't, but I heard that one song by The Cure about it.

JK, I've totes read the stranger, and Camus would probably shoot you in the face on an Algierian beach and think nothing of it.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#15
Quote by the bartender
but if you don't know what it is how can you know what it is not?

you must have some clues about what it actually is then

Oh shit, he's onto me...

I mean, no. I don't hold the key to eternal happiness in the bottom of the next beer bottle.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#19
Quote by LostLegion
yeah **** soccer, 90 minutes of grown men jumping onto the ground like little girls

It's worst when the rushing forward takes a fake inside crosscheck by the goaltender on a 1 v 1 shooting rush and he flops to the floor resulting in an unjust power spot penalty shoot.
#20
EDIT: For a second I thought "Hmmm, maybe there is-oh, penalty shoot, like when they bump sholders." ****ING PUSSIES Soccer should run by hockey contact rules.

Quote by LostLegion
yeah **** soccer, 90 minutes of grown men jumping onto the ground like little girls

Right, its dumb, it would be slightly less dumb if they had some totally arbitrary rules and equipment for whatever reason.

(I started this thread to be drunk and inflamatory, but damn, that's actually really how I feel. I think I can go to sleep now. Night all! have fun, I love each and every one of you).
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
Last edited by snipelfritz at Jun 8, 2014,
#21
Soccer will be a man's sport once the little bitches stop having a cry whenever someone taps them. And stop taking dives you useless **** nuggets.
#22
Quote by sam b
It's worst when the rushing forward takes a fake inside crosscheck by the goaltender on a 1 v 1 shooting rush and he flops to the floor resulting in an unjust power spot penalty shoot.


You'd never see that happen in the National Major League Power American Football All-Star League Sponsored By Gillette.
The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.
#23
Quote by snipelfritz
Oh shit, he's onto me...

I mean, no. I don't hold the key to eternal happiness in the bottom of the next beer bottle.

lies, beer is temporary happiness

that's why you have to keep drinking
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#24
Quote by SMH07
You'd never see that happen in the National Major League Power American Football All-Star League Sponsored By Gillette.

I assume that's the world series, with only American teams in it, right?

I loved that one time that team won 1-1
#28
I hope "bros" never get into soccer. Mother of God imagine how even more annoying this would all be.
#29
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Football will be a man's sport once Danny Welbeck f*cks off.

And Cristiano Ronaldo. He's a total girlyman.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#30
Quote by slapsymcdougal
And Cristiano Ronaldo. He's a total girlyman.

Isn't he dreamy though



Last edited by Duffman123 at Jun 8, 2014,
#31
Quote by Wormholes
I hope "bros" never get into soccer. Mother of God imagine how even more annoying this would all be.

They have. And there's STILL much, much worse than them.


This thread included.
#32
Quote by snipelfritz
EDIT: For a second I thought "Hmmm, maybe there is-oh, penalty shoot, like when they bump sholders." ****ING PUSSIES Soccer should run by hockey contact rules.

Now that, that would be entertaining.
#33
Quote by DardySon
Now that, that would be entertaining.

This was already a thing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwCfUtXXHf8

The novelty wore off after 10 minutes, but it was still kind of fun breaking the referees legs and playing on.

EDIT: Just realised the co commentator is Chris Kamara
Last edited by Duffman123 at Jun 8, 2014,
#34
Quote by Duffman123
Isn't he dreamy though



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I had more hair on my chest at 14.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#35
Quote by Duffman123
Video

Is it just me or did Midway make the best sports games?
#36
Soccerball has the best video games.

"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
#37
Quote by I.O.T.M
Soccerball has the best video games.


From the wiki entry:
The Dutch producers of the game, Darxabre, defended the title stating that it rewarded strategic thinking rather than violence

The Raver is a party going member who can distract other gang members by using his loud boombox

The Bulch is one of the three major units, an overweight dumb man who functions as the muscle.

During play the members of the gang must be sustained by administering drugs, alcohol and violence on a regular basis. Failure to keep the gang members fueled will see them drift off to more peaceful and legal activities.


#38
Not a great thread, but football is awful, so i'm ok with this.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
#39
Quote by Duffman123
From the wiki entry:






It's a pretty epic game.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
#40
Quote by Duffman123
This was already a thing:

still amazed that this cover made retail

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