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#1
this is a serious thread, I'm wondering if being in a relationship hinders your abilities as a musician mainly in songwriting and such. Have great hits been mainly written by musicians who were single at the time?

can you truly play to your potential if you are tied down with a girlfriend. Im thinking having the freedom of being single allow you to practice more and be on the road without having to worry about relationship problems and such.
#4
Yes that is why I am not in one
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
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i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

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#8
Hinder your freedom to sponge off your parents and go out with no job or proper source of income, and no responsibilities, and beg people to like you? Yes.

Hind your 'abilities'? Not at all, unless you're a moron.
Hey, look. Sigs are back.
#9
from a pure technical standpoint no.

But from a lifestyle point of view (gigging at night, going on tour if you're good, other stuff that doesn't comply with the 9-5 lives of 'dull normals') absolutely.

Unless of course you find girlfriend who works the same hours musicians work. Such as a waitresses, bartenders, any other job in the entertainment industry. Might help.
#10
Yes, I am sure your musical abilities are the reason you are single OP. Don't worry about it.
Quote by Saint78
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Voted UG's best threadstarter 2014.
#11
Does something that consumes time hinder something else that costs time?

Not at all!
#14
Quote by musicandthewave
this is a serious thread, I'm wondering if being in a relationship hinders your abilities as a musician mainly in songwriting and such. Have great hits been mainly written by musicians who were single at the time?

can you truly play to your potential if you are tied down with a girlfriend. Im thinking having the freedom of being single allow you to practice more and be on the road without having to worry about relationship problems and such.



Sounds to me like you're under the impression that you would be/already are dating someone you aren't overly compatible with. She should be not only be down with your dream of being a musician, but supporting you and having your back when you need to be practicing your instrument, or gigging/practicing with your band. She should be coming to the shows and cheering you on, not tapping her toe and waiting for you to get home. If you're a musician, your girlfriend needs to be a musicians girlfriend. If she dislikes any part of it, or more accurately can't get past any part of the person she loves following her dreams and also playing music, then maybe that's not a relationship that's meant to last. Don't try to smash a square peg in to a round hole.

Ya feel me, dawg?
For a wounded man shall say to his assailant, "if I live I will kill you."
"If I die, you are forgiven."
Such is the rule of honour.
#15
If it hinders your technical ability and takes away time from you writing stuff (I.E anything you can do solo) then one/both of you are way too clingy and you're probably spending way too much time together.


In the case of gigging, traveling and anything else that happens outside of 'normal' work hours with going far and wide around places, maybe. Especially if you do it regularly (and I don't mean every Friday at the local pubs 'jam night')
That would depend on how much time you do/want to spend with your other half and whether or not they can/want to go to these places with you. Not to mention gig stuff happens around the times of day/night where she/he would probably expect you to spend time with her and go out somewhere.


Personally, I would rather be in a good relationship where I only find time to practice and write on my own rather than neglecting to spend time with them and having them break up with me because I am too focused on a stupidly slim chance that I would be able to be in a successful band.
When I was eleven I broke the patio window and my mother sued me... She's always been a very aggressive litigator.
#16
As my emotional state is a big influence on my songwriting, being in a relationship makes me write songs in a different way than I'd do when I'm single. I wouldn't say it's necessarily a hinderance, but it definitely has a big influence.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#19
Quote by Black Ox
It will hinder your ability to purchase gear, so I hope your happy slinging around a Squier through a Line 6.

If you can't afford the gear, a relationship isn't the only problem - it's the money you're earning, and potentially how well you plan for things and save for things.

I've been with my gf for 5 years, all of which are since I moved out and became somewhat self-sufficient (e.g. a job/originally at uni, own place and not being given money/freebies by parents) and in that time I've managed to replace my main recording rig (upgraded to a Mac setup with 16GB RAM, 3.06GHz quad-core, 256 GB SSD etc.) and bought new interfaces, microphones etc. all totalling around £3,000-ish.

If I wasn't as in to audio engineering these days, I could have afforded to spend it on another LAG Master Series Arkane, or a new amp etc.


Having a relationship doesn't mean you can't fund things you're passionate about.


As for not being able to gig away etc. - my band gig around the country (travelled a few hundred miles to a gig the weekend before last, for example, and stayed overnight in a hotel while gf stayed at home as she had work) and have toured while I've been with gf. She's understanding, obviously, but if you are a serious musician and get in to a relationship the other person should realise that from the off and i they don't, you just find a compromise or move on with which ever you'd rather do.
Hey, look. Sigs are back.
#20
Relationships hinder most things so probably

#single #bachelor #whoneedswomen #I'msoalone
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#21
Quote by eGraham
Relationships hinder most things so probably

#single #bachelor #whoneedswomen #I'msoalone

If you let them, sure. Or you could man up and have an equal relationship, where you both get your own space and are allowed to pursue your own interests that don't have to include the other person as a priority
Hey, look. Sigs are back.
#23
Quote by DisarmGoliath
If you let them, sure. Or you could man up and have an equal relationship, where you both get your own space and are allowed to pursue your own interests that don't have to include the other person as a priority

I'm just saying, I've heard more than one good story end with, "... and then he got married."
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#24
Two of my band are already married, one has been for 6 years now
Hey, look. Sigs are back.
#25
Surprised you guys haven't made a move to blues yet, then.
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#27
Quote by eGraham
Surprised you guys haven't made a move to blues yet, then.

Touché
Hey, look. Sigs are back.
#28
Being in a relationship will adversely affect your picking speed, as the reduction in masturbation causes muscle wastage.
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Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#30
Nah man. You can sing about whatever the hell you want. Your music doesn't have to be one big song about how you can't get women...

From my experience, it's about space and understanding. You and your SO have to have an understanding that, whether it's a hobby or your dream, you're a musician and no matter what, that's what you're going to do.

If they can't accept that and expect you to choose between them and music, do they REALLY love you? Methinks they don't...

I've actually found that being in a fulfilling relationship inspires me. I have a lot more confidence and feel like coming up with material is much easier. When you have your needs met (goes back to that maslow's hierarchy thing with 'self-actualization'), than you're in a much better place to be creative.

Also, for me, finding a girl who's actually quite a talented poet helped me because she can help me out when I have shite lyrics and need someone to help me get my point across without sounding like a 15-year-old.
#31
Quote by the bartender
As my emotional state is a big influence on my songwriting, being in a relationship makes me write songs in a different way than I'd do when I'm single. I wouldn't say it's necessarily a hinderance, but it definitely has a big influence.


this guy gets it
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Oh dear, current affairs...
#32
Quote by azrael667
Does something that consumes time hinder something else that costs time?

Not at all!



All that needs to be said.
Check out my band Disturbed
#33
Quote by CrazyMatt
this guy gets it


You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#36
Imagine if you're a girl/gay guy drummer and you just took a pretty hard pounding up the poop chute the night before. You're not going to be playing to the best of your abilities, sitting on that little throne.

It can happen to you.
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once a girl and i promised to never leave each other

since that promise was broken

i dont make promises any more
#39
not if its an understandign one

right now the girl im dating knows im busy with gigs and recording and practice and studio time and work adn school and whatnot so she sunderstanding of that i do however make time to see her when im able

the second she starts beign a hinderance though shes out >.>
#40
It will only hinder your abilities if you let it. If you're with someone that you feel will have an issue with what you want to do with your music, thats when you should know that you're with the wrong person. Anyone that you're with should not only support you with your music, but enjoy what you do and want you to do it as much as possible, whether she's there or not.
Some people just wanna watch the world burn. Wanna join me when I take my turn to pour the gas, light the match, see your world flip upside down and drop until it's inside out?
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