#1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGeTG7PIfao

i was going in my closet in da hallway, cos i was getting my old nintendo 64 out cos i wanted to play mario 64 for old times sakes.

anyway in da closet we gots yearbooks and photo albums and crap. and i seen dis picture of dis chick in a bikini. she had long, curly blonde eighties hair. and her body was SMOKING hot. she had really nice round gazongers. i couldn't help it, i ran to my room and...had....you know...special ME time.

i was going to put da picture back in da closet, then my sister walked by and she took da photo frum me, and she says "omg! mom had da lamest hair back then".

i was like "what?" and she just ignored me.

i grabbed da picture and gotted all red faced. I DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE HER! i was so ashamed of myself. i went and i took a shower while lying in da fetal position.















then i went to da closet and grabbed da picture...so i can have it...for research. has dis ever happened to youse guys?
#5
shut yer mug
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#9
This is why I leave stories like this to Horsedick.MPEG.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#11
Nice introduction motherlover.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#12
Quote by Weaponized
once I pleasured your mum to myself

shut up you couldn't pleasure a mosquito even if you let it suck blood frum your wiener. BAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!
#16
who the hell jerks off to a photo of a random chick?

this is 2014, you websites dedicated to jerking off with smoking hot women... NAKED.

Plus, if its a photograph in your house, you can assume its someone you know, like relative or a cousin.

you're stupid and effed up, TS.
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There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#17
Pics or it didn't happen.
Quote by joshua garcia
I was incredibly drunk and only really remember writing a fanfic where ESP was getting porked by a pony.

Quote by guitar0player
I'd honestly fap to anything with a set of genitals as long as I find it aesthetically appealing.
#19
you did not!
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#21
I forgot to close
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown