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#1
Hey guys, I'm in a metal band called Simon Says Die, from the Portland, OR area of the US. We released our full length album, 'Fallacy' a few months ago, and I'm hoping to find someone who will write a very well thought out, unbiased review about it and submit it to UG.

If you are interested, contact me via email at joshplaysbass@yahoo.com

Thanks for reading!
#2
Simon Says Die is absolutely brilliant as a parody of a metal band name.

I'm actually a little pissed that it's a real band and not just a joke.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#4
you can't ask to have your band reviewed

especially a well though review

if you don't post a link to your music

what am i supposed to review

how silly your band name is

EDIT:

that cover was legitimately disgusting

like i cannot tell you how sincerely offended i am by it

like i vehemently detest "metals" (ie shitty metalcore) covers in general

but that is just taking it too far

like seriously

and honestly you are bad

and if you thought that that was cool

you probably think that rickrolling is cool

you probably think that friendship is magic is cool

you probably think that racial and homophobic slurs are cool

you probably think that teasing little kids and puppies is cool
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
Last edited by theogonia777 at Jun 30, 2014,
#5
Quote by theogonia777
you can't ask to have your band reviewed

especially a well though review

if you don't post a link to your music

what am i supposed to review

how silly your band name is

EDIT:

that cover was legitimately disgusting

like i cannot tell you how sincerely offended i am by it

like i vehemently detest "metals" (ie shitty metalcore) covers in general

but that is just taking it too far

like seriously

and honestly you are bad


Well, you're entitled to your opinion, and I'm not really all that offended. Plus, I know how easy it is to talk down other peoples stuff when you're behind internet anonymity

Edit: But seriously, if you don't the genre that's fine because every band has their demographic. But posting your hate on something you don't like is pointless and just makes you look like an elitist. I'm not going on your profile to talk about how much i dislike what you do.
Last edited by jbridge90 at Jun 30, 2014,
#6
Quote by jbridge90
Well, you're entitled to your opinion, but after listening to your music, I'm not really all that offended. Plus, I know how easy it is to talk down other peoples stuff when you're behind internet anonymity


typical shitty metalcore "tough guy" response

Quote by jbridge90
I'm not going on your profile to talk about how much i dislike what you do.


but i didn't ask you to review what i do

you did
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#7
Not my style at all, but that's cool. This is a pretty blatant attempt to advertise yourself that isn't really appreciated and in the wrong sub-section of the forums I'm sure. I wouldn't expect any serious responses here given that. Good luck in life I suppose.
#8
Quote by theogonia777
typical shitty metalcore "tough guy" response

Eh... not really. My point was people who don't have to say something to someone IRL feel alot more empowered to act like a child


Quote by theogonia777

but i didn't ask you to review what i do

you did


Right, and if you aren't into 'metals', then why are you still in this thread? Im asking someone in the community who likes metal to help me out, if you don't fit the profile then I'm not sure why you're still posting. Its childish
#10
Quote by jbridge90
Eh... not really. My point was people who don't have to say something to someone IRL feel alot more empowered to act like a child


if you had asked me IRL i would have said the same thing

but it's pretty easy to defend yourself with "oh it's real easy to say thing anonymously over the internet lololol" when you don't have to say something to someone

Right, and if you aren't into 'metals', then why are you still in this thread? Im asking someone in the community who likes metal to help me out, if you don't fit the profile then I'm not sure why you're still posting. Its childish


i do like metal which is why i dislike the sort of metalcore that you play

also you know what is childish

how desperate you are to get someone on this site to review your band

since this is not the first time that you have posted this same thread

if you have to *ask* for a well thought out and detailed review

as opposed to just getting one on your own without asking

you really probably don't deserve one
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
Last edited by theogonia777 at Jun 30, 2014,
#12
s'all peak basically mate

have you considered learning how to use Massive to make some sick wobs instead of vomiting sounds?
#13
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No I'm pretty sure i play guitar.
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#15
By gosh, why do you think you're entitled to a well-thought review ? If I dislike the album I should be able to roast it vehemently.

inb4, metalcore is dead, move on kid
#17
I'm a reviewer for Black Pheonix Rising (Google us, not sure if I can post link)

Would like to review an album out of my comfort zone, so if you've got some tracks I wouldn't mind doing it!
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#19
#cringe
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#20
Quote by jbridge90
Well, you're entitled to your opinion, and I'm not really all that offended. Plus, I know how easy it is to talk down other peoples stuff when you're behind internet anonymity


That's pretty much theo's whole gimmick, so you probably shouldn't give it much credence.

You're also in the pit, which means you should also take everything with a grain of salt anyway.

This doesn't mean you're immune to negative comments, just that you should take anything, positive or negative, with a grain of salt.

That said, I'm bored and I've written a few reviews, this being the most viewed and liked of what I've written (it was written just before I registered for UG, which is why there isn't a name to it). I'll give your band a shot.

But as others have commented, this isn't the best forum for that kind of thing. I see you already posted in the right one so I won't direct you there.

But yeah.
#22
Your band sucks. You should all stick to flipping burgers at McDonald's.


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#23
If you just linked me to your bands 'actual stuff' rather than a cover, I might consider giving it a non biased review. I'm not against metal core.


As for the cover...well...These metal covers of non metal songs pretty much just annoy me. There are so many of them these days and so many bands feel that they should have at least one and really, they're just annoying...and usually end up being the one and only thing a band is known for.
All I can think of when I hear them these days is the band saying "hey, you know what would be totally funny? If we did a metal version of xxx song!".
Yea, it was kind of funny years ago when I first heard the Children of Bodom cover of 'Oops I did it again' (which they quite obviously did for the lols) but since then, youtube is just saturated with that sort of crap.
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#25
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#26
I imagine you have to either have to have writer friends online (which would be biased anyway) or sell a shit ton of that album, or be so good or bad a writer just feels compelled to write it.

I've had around 1200 album downloads, no one's gonna review them formally.
#28
Quote by captainsnazz
wow i never knew this why haven't u mentioned it b4

Snazz, you are just jealous because dat nig makes music and you dont.
Quote by Saint78
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#30
I once wrote reviews under moons long past, but I'm not stopping my Shostakovich to listen to your shit.
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#33
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I used to write paid reviews for UG but before I completely dropped off their radar I developed a strong distaste for metal.

tastes too irony amirite?

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#34
The singer sounds like a 15 year old Jewish kid trying to do dirty vocals.

ew

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#36
Quote by captainsnazz
wow i never knew this why haven't u mentioned it b4

Because it's not impressive really, and it's over 1200 on bandcamp and mediafire, I have no idea about the total, my album cloud kicker's sold in a lot of online stores that don't give me data/stats for free.

If anything I probably mention my music too much.

As for free song's and singles, a few songs I've written have close to 10,000 downloads.
Hell 2 tracks I made were on a Humble Bundle soundtrack, and comes with beat hazard ultra, so that's probably a ton of downloads too.
Last edited by stratkat at Jul 1, 2014,
#37
Quote by stratkat
I imagine you have to either have to have writer friends online (which would be biased anyway) or sell a shit ton of that album, or be so good or bad a writer just feels compelled to write it.

I've had around 1200 album downloads, no one's gonna review them formally.


Not true, honestly.


People review it when it gets hyped. I imagine given my scene of music, it lends itself to a larger community of people actively engaged in music, rather than more of a computer based thing (honestly, not a knock against your shit, just a different thing going for it), but all of my EPs have been passed around and reviewed by multiple sources. I think at this point we have more than 1200 downloads but definitely not before the reviews we've had.
#38
Quote by blake1221
Not true, honestly.


People review it when it gets hyped. I imagine given my scene of music, it lends itself to a larger community of people actively engaged in music, rather than more of a computer based thing (honestly, not a knock against your shit, just a different thing going for it), but all of my EPs have been passed around and reviewed by multiple sources. I think at this point we have more than 1200 downloads but definitely not before the reviews we've had.

That's pretty cool. My music's instrumental and something I don't expect to be reviewed really.
Tbh I wouldn't even know how someone would go about reviewing it. Kinda wish I hadn't thrown in the number.
#39
Quote by blake1221
People review it when it gets hyped. I imagine given my scene of music, it lends itself to a larger community of people actively engaged in music, rather than more of a computer based thing (honestly, not a knock against your shit, just a different thing going for it), but all of my EPs have been passed around and reviewed by multiple sources. I think at this point we have more than 1200 downloads but definitely not before the reviews we've had.

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#40
Quote by stratkat
That's pretty cool. My music's instrumental and something I don't expect to be reviewed really.
Tbh I wouldn't even know how someone would go about reviewing it. Kinda wish I hadn't thrown in the number.


like i said, totally different markets and sounds.

his scene, however, has long been on the decline and he's certainly not throwing anything new out there for it to stand out, so it will be buried along with the rest of them.


as will my band, but i'm not trying for anything.
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