#1
Dear Everyone,

I need a critique for my vocal and my band music.

we feel that our music doesnt sound so dynamic and we cannot pin point it!

any honest critique with vocal, music, lyrics, etc. would help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nZO1dm6nfI

we really appreciate it

Thank you very much for your time.

Best,
#2
If you want my opinion, i think the synth's you've got going on are a little too strong for most of the track, could be simple editing flaws but that was a big one for me, your lyrics sound a little bit "simple" for my liking but it was enjoyable none the less, I'd try to work on bringing your guitars and bass guitars forwards in your mix, as it's not really your music that is the problem, more how everything compliments everything else!
wut.
#3
Certainly has a Meteora (linkin park) sound going on.

Did you model this song of off "Somewhere I belong?" Ha, it just has a lot of similarities.

Anyway, on the lyrics. They are fine I suppose, but you really just sling together multiple popular slogans/common phrases. That can work for an aggressive number but certainly doesn't have much depth.

Your vocals are fine but need to be tracked at least once more. Your voice sounds very thin in the mix. A couple of extra tracks will really bring it out. After that, I think the whole mix could use some balancing.

How are you guys international? You have members from multiple countries? That's pretty cool.
#4
Thank you very much guys!
Reptilianriff, you are right, currently we are trying to re-balance everything in the remix!
merriman44, we love linkin park, defiantly there is influence but we are trying not to sound familiar. u r also right about the vocal sounds thin. we have only 1 track vocal and no back vocal, so that too need to be fixed.

regarding the lyrics, I usually do not write that much simple, but this song is written for our bassist who got fired from his labor job in Japan with his friends simply for nothing.

we are international. 2 Japanese, 1 Syrian, 1 from Peru.

we are now recording our first EP album.
one of the songs is called "The Dying Race" talks about the civil war in Syria.
https://soundcloud.com/forbidden-art/the-dying-race-chorus-demo

the chorus goes like: In the void of this life, as we drift so far away, madness thrives in us, burning down our last place of sanctuary.

you guys were very helpful and awesome.

any tips for the vocal?

Best,
#5
Hm. For the style you do fine for the vocals in my opinion. If you are going to double track them and add some decent backing lines, I don't think there is anything else you need to do besides keep working.

You certainly can hear your accent as you sing. While I wouldn't play this up, I would also not go to any lengths to cover it up either. Just spit balling now. I thought you did a good job.
#6
I was going to talk about the lyrics as well. Very cliche lyrics that have been said a million times before. If you've gone through something emotional, or something that means a lot to you, chances are you can put your own words and thoughts to it and not just describe it in a way that's been described by a million people before you.
#7
You guys are right!
I dont like what I wrote for this song.

anyway it is just a demo, cause our first live concert is this month and we need to finish the EP CD. if this song happens to see some light in the future I will write better lyrics for it.

you guys are great. I really appreciate your honesty and your positive critique, hope to know people like you in the real life!