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#1
Well Pit, having been recently co.ck blocked in a way I've never experienced before (was rectified shortly after), what are your guys' most epic or flat out tales of experiencing the blue balls?

Mine was at the girl's place, had arrived and when I saw her burly roommate give me a glare, I knew things would hit the fan. His eyes were pure jealousy due to her being dressed rather fit for my arrival, so he huffed and warbled his way out the door. With only about 20 minutes of alone time with things progressing nicely, I hear the wheezing from outside approach the door and enter. The roommate has returned, and in his anger, grabbed his laptop, yelled "My house! You leave!" and threw the defenseless device into the couch missing me and having it bounce and smash on the floor. Decidedly failing at an offensive manouver, he hobbled to his bedroom. Cursing the entire time with a face redder than a baboon's ass. Me and the girl left and I'll let your imaginations wander from there.

There's my most recent, let's hear yours Pit.
#3
when i was in high school i had a huge crush on this girl. i asked her to go to a movie with me and she said sure. at that time it was the first time i successfully asked someone out on a date (they've all been set up for me) so i was pretty excited. it was all cool except i asked her in front of my other friend (dare i say best friend at the time) and i kinda felt bad so i said he can come along too if he wants. he knew exactly how i felt about her so i was half expecting him to turn down the offer but he must've missed the cue or something cause he said he'd love to

anyway, even with him present i was planning on letting her know how i felt about her after the movie. it would've gone great except i caught him fingering her half way through it. dude had a girlfriend too which made it even more difficult for me to process. being the timid dork i am, i didn't say anything and i let them finish. the thing that's unsettling is that they knew i knew.




Last edited by MinterMan22 at Jul 14, 2014,
#4
Quote by MinterMan22


anyway, even with him present i was planning on letting her know how i felt about her after the movie. it would've gone great except i caught him fingering her half way through it. dude had a girlfriend too which made it even more difficult for me to process. being the timid dork i am, i didn't say anything and i let them finish. the thing that's unsettling is that they knew i knew.


/thread

I think you've beaten anything else that might appear in this thread, because that is just brutal. My condolences.
Last edited by fLYinGV23 at Jul 14, 2014,
#5
One time I was boning a girl and this other other girl was "mmm, I want some too." And I was like "mmmkay, I've got plenty of dick and stamina for both of you."

Then I made that first girl come and then the second and then I came on both of their faces with a substantial, yet economical, load.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#7
Quote by fLYinGV23
^ Economical? Did you need to save some for a project or something later?

You never know when you might need to save. These are the sort of things we learned growing up in the Depression.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#8
*makes out with girl furiously*
*clothes begin coming off*
*nude making out and rubbing of genitals*

Her - "I'm not ready to have sex with you."
Me - "Okay, we can do other stuff though?"

*horrible handjob ensues, erection is lost*

Her - "What's wrong?"

Me - "It wasn't feeling good"

Her- "I'm sorry..."

*making out/nude humping resumes*

Her - "Have you ever had oral sex?"

Me - "Yes!"

*I give her oral*

*she attempts shitty handjob again*

Her - "Okay let's just smoke a bowl and watch a movie...."

Me - "Yeah that's fine..."


WTF
Last edited by MeGaDeth2314 at Jul 14, 2014,
#9
Quote by snipelfritz
You never know when you might need to save. These are the sort of things we learned growing up in the Depression.


Lol'd, you're probably the one who stores it in 2 litre bottles, aren't you?
#10
Quote by MinterMan22
when i was in high school i had a huge crush on this girl. i asked her to go to a movie with me and she said sure. at that time it was the first time i successfully asked someone out on a date (they've all been set up for me) so i was pretty excited. it was all cool except i asked her in front of my other friend (dare i say best friend at the time) and i kinda felt bad so i said he can come along too if he wants. he knew exactly how i felt about her so i was half expecting him to turn down the offer but he must've missed the cue or something cause he said he'd love to

anyway, even with him present i was planning on letting her know how i felt about her after the movie. it would've gone great except i caught him fingering her half way through it. dude had a girlfriend too which made it even more difficult for me to process. being the timid dork i am, i didn't say anything and i let them finish. the thing that's unsettling is that they knew i knew.



****, man....that sucks. I probably wouldn't have said anything either when I was in high school because I was nerdy like that but if anything like that were to happen to me now, I'd be sure they knew how pissed I was...
#11
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
Her - "Okay let's just smoke a bowl and watch a movie...."

Me - "Yeah that's fine..."


WTF


Sorry but no sympathy from me on this one, did that to yourself
#12
Quote by fLYinGV23
Lol'd, you're probably the one who stores it in 2 litre bottles, aren't you?

No, no, no. I just keep it in my balls. That would be a waste of bottle. :3

Grandma Mudgeman taught me the importance of saving containers. :3 x2
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#13
In high school this chick was angry that I rejected her so she told the ENTIRE school I came out to her, people told me that she would say it out loud in class when her teachers would step out

She was basically like "if I can't have RylanThePotato no one can have RylanThePotato, so from now on he's known as RylanTheGaytato"
bawitaba a bang a bang diggy diggy diggy sed the boogie sed up jump the boogie
#14
^^ Should of gave her the D gaytato lol. Must of been fun trying to pick up after a fiasco like that.

Quote by snipelfritz
No, no, no. I just keep it in my balls. That would be a waste of bottle. :3

Grandma Mudgeman taught me the importance of saving containers. :3 x2

Your prostate must hate you
Last edited by fLYinGV23 at Jul 14, 2014,
#15
Quote by fLYinGV23

Sorry but no sympathy from me on this one, did that to yourself



How so? This chick had ****ing sandpaper hands and was apparently not going to try to progress any further than that...despite the fact she brought up oral sex and I gave it to her. I told her the handjob didn't feel good...and she did it again anyway, the same way. I guess I could've been like "hey bitch I just lapped up your pussy now get my dick wet" but that's not really my style.
#16
Quote by MeGaDeth2314
How so? This chick had ****ing sandpaper hands and was apparently not going to try to progress any further than that...despite the fact she brought up oral sex and I gave it to her. I told her the handjob didn't feel good...and she did it again anyway, the same way. I guess I could've been like "hey bitch I just lapped up your pussy now get my dick wet" but that's not really my style.


I see. Still, much smoother ways to say "Do something different." Dem sandpaper hands though
#17
Quote by fLYinGV23
I see. Still, much smoother ways to say "Do something different." Dem sandpaper hands though



Yeah, I was kind of being sarcastic there I would never really say something like that.

Looking back on it I guess I could've just told her to get some spit or something on her hands and try it from a different angle, but I was honestly just frustrated because it was totally a one-night stand type of deal, and by the way she kept grinding her bare ass on my dick the whole night I was fairly certain she wanted to go all the way.
Last edited by MeGaDeth2314 at Jul 14, 2014,
#18
Quote by fLYinGV23
^^ Should of gave her the D gaytato lol. Must of been fun trying to pick up after a fiasco like that.


You see, that would of been much, much worse lol

Even if I did find her attractive (imagine a trash bag full of pudding) she was one of those types that would make up being pregnant to force a dude to stay with her after he finds out she gave his bff a blowie after sharing shitty weed
bawitaba a bang a bang diggy diggy diggy sed the boogie sed up jump the boogie
#19
^^ Garbage bag full of pudding lol. Sounds like a keeper Rylan. In the words of a friend with questionable taste, "Fat sex is best sex."

Quote by MeGaDeth2314
and by the way she kept grinding her bare ass on my dick the whole night I was fairly certain she wanted to go all the way.

Caught the sarcasm, was speaking in general
But back to no empathy with that last sentence lmao. Couldn't of been more obvious if she had spelled it out. Alas, hindsight is 20/20. Good story though, let's see what else the Pit can drudge up.
Last edited by fLYinGV23 at Jul 14, 2014,
#20
I was 17 at this party with a girl about a year younger than me, we both sorta had feeling for each other but she arrived late to the party and we ended up sitting in the host's living room, basically alone, chatting, flirting, touching etc. whilst on the sofa. The moment was basically perfect for some kissing and petting however sat next to us was this nerdy kid who just didn't move, and he was right next to us. It was so awkward and she didn't want to kiss or anything with him so close to us so I was definitely ****-blocked there.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#21
Quote by EndTheRapture51
I was 17 at this party with a girl about a year younger than me, we both sorta had feeling for each other but she arrived late to the party and we ended up sitting in the host's living room, basically alone, chatting, flirting, touching etc. whilst on the sofa. The moment was basically perfect for some kissing and petting however sat next to us was this nerdy kid who just didn't move, and he was right next to us. It was so awkward and she didn't want to kiss or anything with him so close to us so I was definitely ****-blocked there.


The most classic of co.ck blocks indeed. Nerd probably saw a chance to cop a feel if things got heavy
#22
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#23
Quote by slapsymcdougal
I'm cockblocked regularly by my appearance and personality.

#24
Quote by fLYinGV23
The most classic of co.ck blocks indeed. Nerd probably saw a chance to cop a feel if things got heavy


A year earlier in my life and I would've been the cockblocker. Now I was the cockblockee. It was then I knew I had made it.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#25
Quote by EndTheRapture51
A year earlier in my life and I would've been the cockblocker. Now I was the cockblockee. It was then I knew I had made it.


As much frustration that may accompany being cockblocked, at least you've made it to a level that allows it to happen

Unless you're Slapsy apparently, the perpetual cockblock lmao.
Last edited by fLYinGV23 at Jul 14, 2014,
#26
I was at my favorite bar a few years ago on drinking with my friends and shooting the shit; we were sitting at this somewhat isolated table that you have to climb some stairs to get to and it overlooks most of the place. This group of fairly hot girls come up and sit with us, they're completely hammered, this one girl I was going for had her white shirt soaked in beer and she kept running her hands all over her body. It was awesome, and me and my friends were thinking "holy shit this is going places". We played a few drinking games and everything is going pretty well when all of the sudden the chick I was trying to nail has this brilliant idea to pick a glass up off the table and throw it over the railing, almost hitting the sound guy below. He comes up to our table obviously pretty pissed, he knew it was her that did it so the big bouncer kicked her out and her friends followed with her. I didn't follow her out because I come to this place every week and don't want to associate myself with people who do stupid things like that.

tldr - **** blocked by a glass.
#27
Well one time, i think i was 17, i was at a party with some friends. Anyway, we were all in one small room where we were playing playstation and stuff, and one of the girls was being very friendly with me. Anyway, one by one the people moved to different rooms, especially after it became evident that we wanna do stuff. Everyone left except my cousin who passed out on the couch, so we just say "**** it" and start making out. After a few minutes he wakes up and sees us making out. Then he suddenly shoots up and RUNS out of the room full speed. Being drunk and all, he of course crashes his head against the goddamn door frame and falls to the floor, and starts bleeding everywhere. I ended up going with him to the emergency room to get some stitches.

Another time we were at a local gig, and i was outside talking to a girl. We started kissing, and suddenly i hear the music stop, and everyone started screaming. Turns out one of my friends splashed some beer on one of the guitarists on stage somehow, and in retaliation the guy punched him and then kicked him on the ground with army boots and broke his nose. Anyway, had to go to the emergency room again. Damnit.

I guess i have one more that i remember right now. We were at a music festival and i managed to find a girl and we ended up in her tent. Turns out, she has no condoms. Anyway, i remembered my friend bragging how he brought A condom (literaly one), so i run back to my tent and start yelling at him to give me the thing. He starts shuffling trough his pack and gives me a beer coupon. I start yelling at him how "this is no joke, i wanna get laid, you beter get serious" and stuff, so he gets all nervous, and then cant find the condom. So after like 10 minutes of frantic searching, we figure we cant find it anywhere, so i go back to the girls tent, and of course i get lost along the way. Finaly i find it and she is almost asleep, but i kinda wake her up and explain the situation. What followed were the worst hand and blowjobs i have ever recieved, so i just fingered her until she was done and left. Ended up using that beer coupon. Best beer ever, and at least nobody had to go to the emergency room.
Joža je kul. On ma sirove z dodatki pa hambije.
Last edited by gorkyporky at Jul 14, 2014,
#28
^^ Well obviously the solution is to start hanging out in the emergency room to pick up the ladies, nurses can be hot. Nice save with the coupon though, at least things somewhat worked out.

Quote by Redsectoreh

tldr - **** blocked by a glass.


Very nice, a new twist on the cockblock I've never seen before. That glass didn't dig where you put it down yo
Last edited by fLYinGV23 at Jul 14, 2014,
#29
wait...

are we talking about being c.ock blocked or being co.ck blocked here

it's hard to tell
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#30
i cockblock myself sort of all the time

theres been a pretty decent size difference between me and the girfriends ive had, so even laying down i have to look down or bend my neck in some way. my gag reflex is so sensitive that that can cause me to vomit and ive had to dart out of the room to puke several times during the course of my life
#32
Quote by MinterMan22
when i was in high school i had a huge crush on this girl. i asked her to go to a movie with me and she said sure. at that time it was the first time i successfully asked someone out on a date (they've all been set up for me) so i was pretty excited. it was all cool except i asked her in front of my other friend (dare i say best friend at the time) and i kinda felt bad so i said he can come along too if he wants. he knew exactly how i felt about her so i was half expecting him to turn down the offer but he must've missed the cue or something cause he said he'd love to

anyway, even with him present i was planning on letting her know how i felt about her after the movie. it would've gone great except i caught him fingering her half way through it. dude had a girlfriend too which made it even more difficult for me to process. being the timid dork i am, i didn't say anything and i let them finish. the thing that's unsettling is that they knew i knew.


This is really awful and I'm sorry you had to experience that. Did you ever talk to either of them again after?
cat
#33
Quote by guitarxo
This is really awful and I'm sorry you had to experience that. Did you ever talk to either of them again after?

I think he talked to them as he piled the kindling around the bottom of the stakes, and poured petrol on.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#34
Dat mintz anecdote
Quote by ErikLensherr
Did you hear about the cockney Godfather?

He made them an offer they couldn't understand.
#35
I was once told by a girl that she thought that I was too good for her. Probably the nicest way I've ever been rejected.
#36
Quote by guitarxo
This is really awful and I'm sorry you had to experience that. Did you ever talk to either of them again after?

thanks haha :-S

actually, yeah. i tried to play it off as if i was cool with it at first because i was afraid of losing a friend. the damage was done though, neither relationship was ever able to recover after that (and for other reasons but that's irrelevant now)

whatever though. i've heard some stuff about both of them which makes me feel less guilty about cutting them outta my life so it's all good.




#37
Quote by theogonia777
wait...

are we talking about being c.ock blocked or being co.ck blocked here

it's hard to tell


If you have to ask, you'll never know.

Which is a good thing, congrats.


And Dardy, better that than her saying she's too good for you
Last edited by fLYinGV23 at Jul 14, 2014,
#38
Quote by fLYinGV23
And Dardy, better that than her saying she's too good for you

I know. It was a weird feeling though cos one hand I was like that's a massive compliment but on the other hand I thought it was going to be a sure thing.
#39
Quote by DardySon
I know. It was a weird feeling though cos one hand I was like that's a massive compliment but on the other hand I thought it was going to be a sure thing.


I feel ya, trust me. But look at it this way, too good for one, perfect for another. In due time man
#40
spend like 3 hours trying to penetrate this girl who was a virgin, but no shit guys my dick was so big it wouldn't go in, either that or her hymen was seriously cockblocking me.
Quote by WantsLesPaul
You are a sick man, Riley.
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