Poll: the name tho
Poll Options
View poll results: the name tho
I would prefer she change her name
8 13%
I expect her to change her name
7 11%
I don't care if she changes her name or not
28 44%
I'd rather she not change her name
10 16%
I don't plan on marrying
9 14%
I will take her name
0 0%
I am a woman and I will leave my thoughts in a reply
1 2%
Voters: 63.
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#1
How do you feel about the woman changing her name upon getting married in western cultures? Does patrilineality re-enforce male power? Are you gonna do it?

Answer poll&post your comments
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#3
I tried to get my wife to change her name back once we married but she liked Dave so much I have forgot about Clare now
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#4
I would prefer her to change her name just because it can cause problems if she doesn't.

My sister got married a few years ago, and instead of changing her surname, she added his with a hyphen, like a Smith-Jones type thing. She had to go through a lot of hassle to get it done, 99% of people don't recognise it as hyphenated and just call her "Mrs. Jones" or whatever, and I have no idea what her kids are going to do.

So just for the sake of simplicity, I would prefer that she change her name. But if she really doesn't want to, she doesn't have to and I wouldn't really care.

I voted "I don't really care"
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#5
i don't want to change my name so if she doesn't, that's cool. if she wants to take my last name, that's cool too. all fair.

it's obviously patriarchal that our tradition is to take the man's name but i hardly see how it matters. there are much bigger and more important fish to fry than last names.
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#6
If my wife has a nice name I will take hers.
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#7
Quote by Baby Joel
and I have no idea what her kids are going to do.



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Quote by Eastwinn
it's obviously patriarchal that our tradition is to take the man's name but i hardly see how it matters. there are much bigger and more important fish to fry than last names.



like video game tropes
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Last edited by StewieSwan at Jul 15, 2014,
#8
Quote by Neo Evil11
If my wife has a nice name I will take hers.


i can't imagine a better last name for Ean Scott but i'm open to the possibility, yeah.

stew: actually yes, like video game tropes. video games fall right into the hands of impressionable young boys and girls. they are a way we learn about the world, even if it's all supposedly fantasy. spending some time to criticize the media that teaches disgusting patriarchal values is a good thing. you may say some take it too far, and i will note that some do get carried away at criticizing the video games and forget why they're doing it.
i don't know why i feel so dry
Last edited by Eastwinn at Jul 15, 2014,
#10
I guess I forgot to say in OP how I feel.


I'd rather she not change her name. After my parents divorced my mom changed her name back to what it used to be. She told me how she felt that part of her identity had been taken when she changed her name and she realized she wanted that back.
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#11
Quote by Neo Evil11
If my wife has a nice name I will take hers.


Yfw my name is one women want to take on
#12
She can do what she wants. She is smart and beautiful and I will love her forever
*-)
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#13
I don't know. I don't think my name would go well with a lot of surnames but I would like to have a shorter surname so....we'll see
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#15
My girlfriend does research on birds and has had reports and has diplomas with her name on them so shes told me if we do tie the knot shell have to hyphenate it. Sounds reasonable to me. Doing it for female empowerment is pretty stupid tho
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Last edited by Wiegenlied at Jul 15, 2014,
#16
Quote by Wiegenlied
Doing it for female empowerment is pretty stupid tho



Why? If the roles were reversed, how would you react to people expecting you to change your name?
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#17
Quote by StewieSwan
Why? If the roles were reversed, how would you react to people expecting you to change your name?

Because theres so many others ways to feel empowered and i just dont think rejecting a standard tradition against the person you suppose to be embarking on a declaration of a lifelong promise of trust and companionship is a good start. Its like demanding a prenup.. but you were both poor
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#18
Im not oppossed to chicks keeping their name just that reason. My ex had said her name with my last name andwe both thought her polish first name with my french last name sounded weird and i suggested she keep hers if we ever got married. If the chicks famous or their as family history like a business then that makes senseto keep it to. But if its just for the sake of empowerment, well i just dont think thats a good sign of things to come.
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#19
Don't plan on making this an issue, ever. DGAF, anyway. I have a slightly odd last name(noone ever spells it right, and they always look at you funny when you tell them what it is), anyway, so I'd be fine with someone not wanting to change theirs to it.
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#20
Let her do what she wants, I really don't care

My last name is badass and exotic so who wouldn't want it
bawitaba a bang a bang diggy diggy diggy sed the boogie sed up jump the boogie
#22
My last name only really works with men's names so I couldn't expect them to have a wank name
#23
I would let her keep her last name. My last name is hideous anyway.

I still don't know how this works with any potential kids though.
#24
We could both take each other's names, but my girlfriend and I already have pretty long full names. Adding another is just going to compound the problem. :P
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#25
Assuming I got married, I wouldn't like the idea of her taking my last name. It just feels like the man taking ownership of the woman, rather than two people coming together equally.
#26
Well, if it sounds better in English, sure. Then people might use that when calling me instead of asking for a "stin'awn"
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#28
I would go for a double barreled name. My surname could also be a first name, so it would have to go at the very end to save any confusion.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
#29
the real question is the tradition of naming kids after their father

there should be options

like say john smith

his son is john smith jr and grandson is john smith iii

why can't the grandson be john smith jr jr

john smith junior squared

or john smith sophomore

and what about his son

john smith iv

why not john smith iii jr

john smith jr iii

john smith jr jr jr

john smith jr cubed

john smith jr squared ii

john smith freshmen

john smith sophomore jr

carlos smith

etc

the possibilities are endless
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#30
depends who has the cooler family name really

probably a cheap way to change your exotic sounding family name to something normal, or the other way round...

anyone know a girl with Andre as a family name?
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#31
Quote by deadsmileyface
dont make me think about the future please


The future's like... Not yet man
#33
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
When gay people get married how do they decide which surname to use?


Gladiatorial combat.
#34
Quote by StewieSwan
How do you feel about the woman changing her name upon getting married in western cultures?



I think whatever they decide as a couple is cool

Does patrilineality re-enforce male power?


If you're referring patrilineality in the form of the wife keeping the man's name, no it doesn't necessarily re-enforce male power.

Are you gonna do it?


My wife hasn't taken my name because she's not a citizen yet but yes she will. Right now on some documents she has her name, on some documents she has mine.
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#35
Quote by Rossenrot
Marriage is kind of a poor idea in general.


Oy vey this guy
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#36
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
When gay people get married how do they decide which surname to use?

He who takes it in the butt takes the name
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wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#37
Quote by Wiegenlied
He who takes it in the butt takes the name

Quote by Malchius
Gladiatorial combat.


Hmmm, I'm getting mixed opinions on this issue. You two need to have gladiatorial butt sex to determine a clear winner.
#38
I don't see myself ever getting married but if I did I'd insist on taking her last name regardless of what it is, just cuz I hate mine so much cuz of reasons
#39
Quote by lolmnt
She can do what she wants. She is smart and beautiful and I will love her forever

Aw __

I guess I slightly prefer if the wife took my name, but ultimately I wouldn't care. The idea of one name sounds good to me, though, because it seems to reflect the unity of the family. I couldn't care less about the tradition aspect.

The only tradition I care about is losers clean up after a round of Monopoly
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#40
When my wife and I got married she took my name, but we talked a lot about it. It was funny because we found that there are some people who hold up what they think the Bible says to enforce their believe that a woman should take her husbands surname, but we found that the Bible says a man shall leave HIS family and be joined to her, so maybe I should have taken her name!

We genuinely considered it to, partly because we're closer to her family than mine so it would be sweet to carry their name but in the end, we just went with the social norm. A small part of me regrets it but it probably would've caused a big stir in certain family members if I changed my name lol



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