#1
Ive been playing and singing for about five years and I can play comfortably with a band but a lot of the time when I'm hanging out with friends theyll ask me to play. Whenever this happens my mind just goes blank and I forget everything. Its not really stage fright, its just off-stage. I cant be the only one whos experienced this and Id really like to be able to play for people casually.
#2
You don't have to be on a literal stage in order to have stage fright.

What you have is stage fright. Only way to get through it is just to do it.
it's all just coming back
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#3
Any sort of stage fright can often be traced back to under-preparation. Have a piece ready in your bag of tricks for these situations. Practice it now and then. Use it as a warm up exercise maybe- that way you'll get used to playing it "cold"
Quote by AlanHB
It's the same as all other harmony. Surround yourself with skulls and candles if it helps.
Last edited by 91RG350 at Jul 15, 2014,
#4
I don't think stage fright goes back to under-preparation.

I used to get stage fright like TS (I still do actually) when it comes to piano. If I've got a piano recital, I can play a song perfectly. Then go to just a few friends or family, like a smaller, more intimate setting, and if people ask me to play, I'll freeze up a bit, get a bit more nervous, etc. It doesn't have anything to do with lack of preparation, but more of just a lack of confidence. TS, you just can't let it shake you. Just gotta roll through it.
it's all just coming back
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#5
I hear you, but argue that confidence and under-preparation are rarely seen in the same saloon....
Quote by AlanHB
It's the same as all other harmony. Surround yourself with skulls and candles if it helps.
#6
I get the same way. Put me in a room full of strangers and I can rock the joint. Put me at a family gathering and I'll pull a blank when asked, "Play me something!"
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#7
Quote by 91RG350
I hear you, but argue that confidence and under-preparation are rarely seen in the same saloon....

I mean, you could argue that they are related because you're under-prepared to play in front of certain audiences, which I can understand. But playing songs over and over again in different ways, at different speeds, etc, won't fix that. The only way to fix that is to just grit your teeth and bear it.
it's all just coming back
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#8
Quote by Baby Joel
....But playing songs over and over again in different ways, at different speeds, etc, won't fix that. ....

I dont know where I said that.

We disagree. Thats cool.
Quote by AlanHB
It's the same as all other harmony. Surround yourself with skulls and candles if it helps.
#9
Sorry, I misunderstood your first post.

But yeah, it's cool.


that being said, there is nothing wrong with what he said in his first post
it's all just coming back
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#10
I agree mate. It can be daunting. My point is that preparation is the key to success. Have something ready. Or say "No thanks, I dont want to play".
Quote by AlanHB
It's the same as all other harmony. Surround yourself with skulls and candles if it helps.
#12
Try to harness that nervous energy into making your performance that much stronger.

I've never played on stage, but the last time I had to give a 9 minute speech in a college class I was so nervous that I just kept talking and showing my knowledge of the subject. By the time I sat down, I asked if my time was enough and was told that he stopped timing me at 20 minutes. I got an A on it.

So what I'm trying to say is that you just have to try to take that nervousness as a challenge and give it all you've got. Let it inspire you to show what you've really got.
#13
Quote by 91RG350
I hear you, but argue that confidence and under-preparation are rarely seen in the same saloon....


I know what you're saying, and to a certain extent I agree, but also:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overconfidence_effect

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/oct/26/change-your-life-why-confidence-overrated (the third paragraph there is the important bit: "In a new book, Confidence, the psychologist Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic goes further, arguing that confidence is virtually worthless. On average, he reports, it's correlated with competence at about 0.30, which means the probability of the most confident person in the room also being the most competent is a paltry 15 percentage points better than chance. ")

That's not to say you shouldn't practise or anything like that. And doing what you said, having a stock "party piece" at the ready, is a good idea and could well help.

But yeah confidence =/= ability. There's weak correlation at best (and in fact, things like the dunning-kruger effect might suggest that people who are less competent might be more confident).
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#14
Interesting articles, Dave. Good to read.

I put all of two nanoseconds thought into the word "confidence", I suppose. I didnt think about the other connotations and factors that those articles outline.

My intent was to say that if you have a prepared piece, then you will be able to play it even if you are nervous. And being nervous in that situation is completely normal. I would be.

Also... the Dunning-Kruger page has a link that leads to "imposter syndrome"... which I had never heard of until now.... I definately have a degree of that from time to time....

...so...now its time for me to internally dwell on all the permutations that implies, rather than just taking a step back, looking at my life, and simply being truthful and thankful about the amount of I've achieved.... thanks Dave! NOT!
Quote by AlanHB
It's the same as all other harmony. Surround yourself with skulls and candles if it helps.
#15


I'm not saying not being prepared won't help, because it will, absolutely, at least in a lot of cases. Just there are sometimes other things at play, too.

Yeah I've come across imposter syndrome before too when I trawl wikipedia.

I mean, when people ask me what my favourite bands are, my mind goes blank Maybe I should have a prepared answer for that (might be better than only being able to think of bands I'm embarrassed to admit I like, like Winger, which are the only ones which don't seem to go out of my head in those situations ).
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Quote by K33nbl4d3
I'll have to put the Classic T models on my to-try list. Shame the finish options there are Anachronism Gold, Nuclear Waste and Aged Clown, because in principle the plaintop is right up my alley.

Quote by K33nbl4d3
Presumably because the CCF (Combined Corksniffing Forces) of MLP and Gibson forums would rise up against them, plunging the land into war.

Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
Et tu, br00tz?
#16
Yeah...I hear ya.... when people ask what I like, the first thing that comes into my mind is "Van Halen"... and I worry that people are going to scoff at it because they are considered hair metal. I mean...VH were the originals...and the hair metal bands were the pale imitations... but I dont want to go into a history of hair metal lesson with people. Eddies rhythm playing is sublime... people dont see past the tapping stuff...

Its time for us to stand up and shout "Winger!"... "Van Halen!" from an open window! And be proud!

Side note... and drifting off topic considerably.... I saw Poison live in I guess the late 80's or thereabouts... the gig was meh... apart from Rikki Rockets drum solo...

The. Best. Ever.

He played insane.

Thats the thing that peeves me about the grunge era.... the virtuosity went out of things literally overnight. Now virtuosity for virtuosities sake is boring. Dont get me wrong- I'm a punk freak so can totally appreciate Nirvana etc. But jeez. Those 80's bands. Those people could play their frickin instruments.
Quote by AlanHB
It's the same as all other harmony. Surround yourself with skulls and candles if it helps.
#17
Perhaps when you are playing with a band you are used to all the crutches that mics and distorted guitars provide. I agree with RG350 to an extent and would be curious to know if you have songs that you can sings and play on acoustic guitar that you can play to yourself when you are alone. If you don't have that then this is your first step.

If you do have acoustic songs that you have prepared and still find that you freeze up when playing for family and friends then it might be more a confidence thing but preparation and confidence do go hand in hand.

I might understand that feeling. i have struggled to play in front of family and friends because I feel they won't approve or at the very least won't like it. The only way I get past this is to practice a song over and over and record myself doing it so I can fix all the mistakes and get the vocals pitch perfect. Then when I am absolutely 100% sure it sounds good I can play it in front of anyone.
Last edited by Victorgeiger at Jul 17, 2014,
#18
I think the difference between onstage and offstage is, on I know that Im going to play song 1, 2, 3, whatever and Ill have a solo in Bm. Off stage its just my friends saying play something. Its not that Im under prepared in sense of practice or song quality, I already know how to do all that shit, I just need to know what to do. Next time I'll go in with somewhat of a setlist in my head and see how it goes. As Victor also said, onstage people are coming to see you and you can expect they like similar music. I cant expect my parents to appreciate experimental trash rock.
#19
Quote by tmckeevt
Ive been playing and singing for about five years and I can play comfortably with a band but a lot of the time when I'm hanging out with friends theyll ask me to play. Whenever this happens my mind just goes blank and I forget everything. Its not really stage fright, its just off-stage. I cant be the only one whos experienced this and Id really like to be able to play for people casually.


Decide in advance what you're going to play in this situation.

Have one piece that you've practiced a lot that is your, "somebody asked me to play something for them" song. Take away that aspect of "oh shoot what am I going to play?"
#20
Belief and confidence is the key to be a guitar player for people.

Back in 1993 or was it 1994 the class I was in was asked to do think of something to entertain the classes for the last day. You do it you play guitar so we don't have do anything. Sure ok.

What am I going to play? Yes the nerves were high for the rest of the day not fear but how to go about it.

The next day I got the amp and guitar to school in a small car. No sound check just right you are on! Strap on and turn on but from the first note and into Enter sandman the rest was a breze even though I had some 300 fellow students and some teachers in front of me.

I also played a birthday party for a family member. At the time I had done several gigs but only 2 with the band. However I knew how well the band sounded together and we did well enough.

When I am confident in my guitar and sound then its fine and I can enjoy playing for whoever it might be.
#22
^ I sort of half-agree with that. In a lot of cases death is also certain.

Quote by 91RG350
(a) Yeah...I hear ya.... when people ask what I like, the first thing that comes into my mind is "Van Halen"... and I worry that people are going to scoff at it because they are considered hair metal. I mean...VH were the originals...and the hair metal bands were the pale imitations... but I dont want to go into a history of hair metal lesson with people. Eddies rhythm playing is sublime... people dont see past the tapping stuff...

Its time for us to stand up and shout "Winger!"... "Van Halen!" from an open window! And be proud!

(b) Side note... and drifting off topic considerably.... I saw Poison live in I guess the late 80's or thereabouts... the gig was meh... apart from Rikki Rockets drum solo...

The. Best. Ever.

He played insane.

Thats the thing that peeves me about the grunge era.... the virtuosity went out of things literally overnight. Now virtuosity for virtuosities sake is boring. Dont get me wrong- I'm a punk freak so can totally appreciate Nirvana etc. But jeez. Those 80's bands. Those people could play their frickin instruments.


(a) LOL, Van Halen's my less-embarrassing choice to say that doesn't normally go out of my head

(b) Agreed. Even virtuosity for the sake of it is ok IMO if done well (and not done for like 6 hours non-stop).

I can also appreciate the other stuff too. But I'm not going to pretend that those 80s guys couldn't play, either (at least in most cases ).
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Quote by K33nbl4d3
I'll have to put the Classic T models on my to-try list. Shame the finish options there are Anachronism Gold, Nuclear Waste and Aged Clown, because in principle the plaintop is right up my alley.

Quote by K33nbl4d3
Presumably because the CCF (Combined Corksniffing Forces) of MLP and Gibson forums would rise up against them, plunging the land into war.

Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
Et tu, br00tz?