#1
Through the Lothario lenses
the unfamiliar becomes the reality.
It has become to this
surgical master; I stay the apprentice
of the better not said.
I sense a purge, severed from birth;
the world is now my saviour.
I never learned why I was chosen;
no one can remind me of my future.
A soldier of psychosis;
I would surrender myself to redemption
if I feared it would make me a better person.
#2
this is really quite nice. i only hesitate over the first couple of lines, i feel you could introduce the poem in a stronger way.

still, this builds to a great ending. i enjoy it. i hope things are improving with you. keep writing.
#3
man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"


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#4
Quote by Bleed Away
if I feared it would make me a better person.

This line here.
I love it. I love what it means, or at least what it means to me.
You're afraid of being a better person. Why is that ?
Does being a better person come with new responsibility, and you're afraid of responsibility?
Does being a better person mean giving up something you're afraid to lose ?

It provoked no small amount of thought from me.
#5
Quote by greyeyedfire
This line here.
I love it. I love what it means, or at least what it means to me.
You're afraid of being a better person. Why is that ?
Does being a better person come with new responsibility, and you're afraid of responsibility?
Does being a better person mean giving up something you're afraid to lose ?

It provoked no small amount of thought from me.


"You're afraid of being a better person. Why is that?"

I am not afraid of being a better person, in fact, it's exactly what I want to be. I used to see myself as a complete outsider, and I took huge pride in that. Anything (from art, to academics, to people etc.) that represents "going against the grain" and purity, I admired - and still do. For the past few years now, I have been searching for someone, that I can connect with, that also has these qualities... But I have failed to find one. In theory, no one needs anyone to become a better person. But the isolation that comes from not having anyone to talk to deeply makes it difficult to become a better person due to anger, frustration, depression, fatigue etc.

"Does being a better person come with new responsibility, and you're afraid of responsibility?"

It definitely can, yes. And, no, I am not afraid of the responsibility that comes with it. Honestly, I should be achieving a lot more than I currently am, but bad circumstances has made it extremely difficult. I don't want to be this rut, that I am currently in, I want to achieve the goals that I know that I am more than capable of achieving and I want to help people in revolutionary ways (through my research). Again, if I had someone that I can always go to to talk about things on a very deep level, my extreme anger, frustration, depression, fatigue (etc.) would no longer be in the way.

"Does being a better person mean giving up something you're afraid to lose?"

It can mean losing the things you once enjoyed because they don't coincide with your (new) values. I am not afraid of losing anything, so as long as I don't lose the person that cares deeply about me.
Last edited by Bleed Away at Jul 31, 2014,