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#1
I just want some opinions on this matter.

My girlfriend started smoking for a brief period a couple of years back, which led to a lung infection and a month long induced coma. This had a long recovery period and cost her family and myself a fair amount of money due to backed up bills etc.

Anyway, there have been a few times since then where I have suspected that she still smokes occasionally, and she has always denied it. On one or two occasions, most recently just now, I have found cigarettes on top of her bag.

I will add to this that she is overweight and not the healthiest individual.

I told her I am not comfortable with her smoking at all, which I think is a reasonable thing to say. What makes me less sure is that I in fact smoke socially when I am at the pub or with friends, but at no point has it become an addiction.

Add to this the fact that she keeps lying to me about it, and the fact that I am far healthier than her, is it fair for me to, in effect, "tell" her to stop despite smoking socially myself?
#3
I don't see a problem with you holding her to different standards than yourself but she probably will throw that in your face so you should offer to give up smoking as well if it will help her quit.
#4
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
I don't see a problem with you holding her to different standards than yourself but she probably will throw that in your face so you should offer to give up smoking as well if it will help her quit.


I have considered that but although I am perfectly capable of never smoking again I don't believe that she would actually stop.
#5
Quote by Random3
I have considered that but although I am perfectly capable of never smoking again I don't believe that she would actually stop.

right, so buy her an ecig. she can continue her habit without harming her body. problem solved
banned
#6
your gf is so fat that smoking a few cigarettes put her in a coma for a month and you had to pay for it? And she's lying to you on a daily basis about it?

Dump her fat, smoky, comatose ass
#8
Quote by OddOneOut
No one likes a hypocrite though.

ye
Quote by flexiblemile
your gf is so fat that smoking a few cigarettes put her in a coma for a month and you had to pay for it? And she's lying to you on a daily basis about it?

Dump her fat, smoky, comatose ass

this too
West Ham United
#9
Quote by OddOneOut
No one likes a hypocrite though.


That's what I'm not sure about.

I socially smoke maybe 5-10 cigarettes when I am at the pub, usually once a week, and often go days or weeks without even thinking about smoking. My resting heart rate is around 50bpm, I have lost 8kg in the past year and my BMI is around 25.

She on the other hand smokes "as a stress coping mechanism", has a resting heart rate over 80bpm, BMI in the high 30s, lies to me about it on multiple occasions and has been in hospital for a lung infection. I don't know what else to say to make her understand that given her situation, smoking is a completely idiotic thing to do.
#10
reason'bly
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#11
It really sounds like that isn't someone you should be with.


If she's had a lung infection from smoking then that seems reason enough for her to stop.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#12
You're smoking too bro. It affects her habit a lot actually. Get her a vaporizer man. She'll quit smoking in no time. She will however become addicted to smoking vapes tho and no one really knows any future problems it may cause in the future.

You gotta be on the same page with her. Stop smoking socially and work with her. If not, use a firm and steady boot because this is a life or death situation and you do not need to be around if she wants to kill herself.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#13
Focus on the fact that she's lying to you about something life threatening to her and traumatizing/expensive to you.

The actual smoking isn't really the issue here. Your gf being a fat, lying bitch is.
#14
Quote by Random3
That's what I'm not sure about.

I socially smoke maybe 5-10 cigarettes when I am at the pub, usually once a week, and often go days or weeks without even thinking about smoking. My resting heart rate is around 50bpm, I have lost 8kg in the past year and my BMI is around 25.

She on the other hand smokes "as a stress coping mechanism", has a resting heart rate over 80bpm, BMI in the high 30s, lies to me about it on multiple occasions and has been in hospital for a lung infection. I don't know what else to say to make her understand that given her situation, smoking is a completely idiotic thing to do.

IMO its a completely idiotic thing to do regardless of health situation.

But you should maybe stop smoking completely as an incentive and way to encourage her to not smoke. Have you considered that smelling smoke on you and seeing you smoke socially with your friends might be making her crave cigarettes more? Be in it together. Go for walks and do exercise together etc, as that's a better way to relieve stress. Be frank with her and tell her that you're not okay with her lying to you, its a breach of your trust, you're worried about her and you have to be honest to each other.
Also avoid using her as a sole example when you talk to her, as it will seem very accusatory if you use "you" all the time.

So in short, its not an unreasonable request but you should be aware you will look like a bit of a dick. You can reduce this appearance of twattishness by offering to give up completely too.
Quote by Renka
OddOneOut is an Essex S&M mistress and not a pirate or a computer program.

#15
it's not entirely important if it's hypocritical. if you really want her to stop and smoking isn't a habit for you, you should stop in solidarity.
i don't know why i feel so dry
#16
Quote by Random3
That's what I'm not sure about.

I socially smoke maybe 5-10 cigarettes when I am at the pub, usually once a week, and often go days or weeks without even thinking about smoking. My resting heart rate is around 50bpm, I have lost 8kg in the past year and my BMI is around 25.

How good for you.
She on the other hand smokes "as a stress coping mechanism", has a resting heart rate over 80bpm, BMI in the high 30s, lies to me about it on multiple occasions and has been in hospital for a lung infection. I don't know what else to say to make her understand that given her situation, smoking is a completely idiotic thing to do.

You can tell her that given her situation, smoking is a completely idotic thing to do.
Yes, I mean it. Don't euphemise, just put it as it is. Tends to be a hard-hitting-hammer.
#17
>fat
>liar
>smokes even though it's already caused significant problems for her


Sounds like a real catch.
Check out my band Disturbed
#18
Quote by Eastwinn
it's not entirely important if it's hypocritical. if you really want her to stop and smoking isn't a habit for you, you should stop in solidarity.

Basically, this.

Lead by example, broseph.
#20
Quote by Random3
I've had a talk to her, I have made it clear that if she ever lies to me about something like this again then we are done, and we are both going to buy e-cigs. Thanks for the help all.

wow, that'll solve everything
#22
Quote by Random3
As has already been said in this thread if you care to read it, an e-cig allows her to "stress smoke" in a way that won't harm her.



The science is still out on E-cigs. We don't know the long term effects because they haven't been around very long.
Check out my band Disturbed
#23
Quote by StewieSwan
The science is still out on E-cigs. We don't know the long term effects because they haven't been around very long.

this is true but lets be real its probably better than smoking
banned
#24
Quote by deadsmileyface
this is true but lets be real its probably better than smoking



well obviously
Check out my band Disturbed
#26
Quote by Random3
I just want some opinions on this matter.

My girlfriend started smoking for a brief period a couple of years back, which led to a lung infection and a month long induced coma. This had a long recovery period and cost her family and myself a fair amount of money due to backed up bills etc.

Anyway, there have been a few times since then where I have suspected that she still smokes occasionally, and she has always denied it. On one or two occasions, most recently just now, I have found cigarettes on top of her bag.

I will add to this that she is overweight and not the healthiest individual.

I told her I am not comfortable with her smoking at all, which I think is a reasonable thing to say. What makes me less sure is that I in fact smoke socially when I am at the pub or with friends, but at no point has it become an addiction.

Add to this the fact that she keeps lying to me about it, and the fact that I am far healthier than her, is it fair for me to, in effect, "tell" her to stop despite smoking socially myself?


You can certainly talk to her about smoking and that you don't want her to do it out of concern for her health. You should definitely practice what you preach though. If you don't want her smoking you shouldn't smoke. Social smoking is still smoking.

Once you've made your position clear to her and she makes her choice either way it is something you must accept. Don't be a nag. You've told her what you think and if she chooses to continue despite your concerns then you have two options - accept it as part of who she is and love her regardless, or leave.

You can't change the person you're with. If you don't like who that person is don't try to change them, just leave and then start looking for someone that is like the person you want.
Si
#27
Quote by deadsmileyface
this is true but lets be real its probably better than smoking

It MIGHT be but, since you're so insistent on the fact of e-cigs being the go-to solution for the problem......SHE ALREADY HAD A LUNG INFECTION....you do realize that compensation of cessation of smoking with an e-cig will result in another lung infection called Pneumonia, right? This is obviously a person who is extremely susceptible to any inhalation of chemicals. So, either she gets an all natural E-Cig, or she flat out quits. End of story.
#28
Quote by Dimarzio45
all natural E-Cig


if it has nicotine in any capacity it's worthy of suspicion.

i agree though that resorting to e-cigs is a shit solution.
i don't know why i feel so dry
#29
Quote by Eastwinn
if it has nicotine in any capacity it's worthy of suspicion.

i agree though that resorting to e-cigs is a shit solution.

I'm pretty positive that there are non-nicotine E-Cigs that are around.

Amuro Jay would know more about this than I do. Lol

But, you're right, quitting altogether is the best way to go. No crutches!!!!
#30
yeah there are nicotine free ones

kind of a waste of time if you ask me.
i don't know why i feel so dry
#31
Totally.

It'd help in the beginning phase but, at some point, it's just going to become a new addiction/crutch. **** it, just quit altogether. It's much easier in the long run.
#32
Quote by StewieSwan
>fat
>liar
>smokes even though it's already caused significant problems for her


Sounds like a real catch.

This.
#33
Quote by StewieSwan
The science is still out on E-cigs. We don't know the long term effects because they haven't been around very long.

The main ingredient in ecig juice is propylene glycol, which has been used in asthma inhalers since the 1960s. It's metabolized into lactic acid in the body, which you need. The other ingredient is vegetable glycerin, which is pretty much harmless, and turns into sugar.

The risk comes in the flavorings. The risk is much higher for companies that make their liquids in China. You have no idea what they're really putting in there. Any report talking about dangers of vaping usually cite examples that were researching poor quality juices. Any respectable American vape juice company will only use flavorings that have been designated as safe for human consumption by the FDA.

People have been vaping for like a decade now, and the ecig has actually existed since its invention in the 60s as well.

Of course we can't be certain about anything, but I'm not worried.
#34
Tell her if she doesn't stop, you guys are over.

You'll help her quit by you quitting social smoking.

Buy her an e-cig to ease her off it.

If you catch her again with a cig. Finito mother ****er.
#35
Quote by Eastwinn

i agree though that resorting to e-cigs is a shit solution.



Why do you think this?
#36
Yeah definitely quit smoking, if you smoke she'll smoke, simple as that. You can't tell her to stop smoking and then smoke with your mates, she won't take that lightly. As others have said she really doesn't seem to be grateful to the fact that you helped her out of a friggin coma, and she clearly doesn't care for her body, but if you really want to stay together you're going to have help her with her addiction.
#38
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
Just slap a nicotine patch on her haunches if you're worried about e-cigs




I feel bad that this post didn't get more love.
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#39
Quote by flexiblemile
your gf is so fat that smoking a few cigarettes put her in a coma for a month and you had to pay for it? And she's lying to you on a daily basis about it?

Dump her fat, smoky, comatose ass


/thread
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