Poll: which one?
Poll Options
View poll results: which one?
Hard
22 29%
Flaccid
38 50%
I'm a girl/pretending to be a girl
16 21%
Voters: 76.
Page 1 of 2
#1
If you committed a crime and the judge decreed that your punishment was to have your penis slammed in a car door would you prefer it to be hard or flaccid when slammed?
#3
just looked at a naked baby picture of myself

i think it got smaller
i don't know why i feel so dry
#4
Quote by Eastwinn
just looked at a naked baby picture of myself

i think it got smaller

this made no sense but we're all supposed to humor you now so hmm very interesting.
#5
Hey GG, good question. I think flaccid bc there wouldn't be as much blood in there.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#6
Quote by Eastwinn
just looked at a naked baby picture of myself

i think it got smaller


i would shrivel up if i was looking at pictures of baby dudes too
#7
Quote by genghisgandhi
this made no sense but we're all supposed to humor you now so hmm very interesting.


i was suggesting that my penis had decreased in length since i was a baby. it's humorous because it should have increased during puberty.
i don't know why i feel so dry
#9
Quote by genghisgandhi
I have a feeling you're on to me

I had not seen this. That is my real opinion.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#10
It's times like this a concave penis could come in handy.
Flaccid.
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#11
Quote by lolmnt
Hey GG, good question. I think flaccid bc there wouldn't be as much blood in there.

This definitely. If it's hard it could break and/or start bleeding much more easily
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#12
Quote by Joshua Garcia
It's times like this a concave penis could come in handy.
Flaccid.

You mean vagina?
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#13
Flaccid seems like it could possibly rip open. Hard it would hopefully just be really, really, really swollen.
#14
I would rather that my penis be hard. I just imagine a giant mess if it were to happen flaccid. Hard--I imagine lots of hurt and bruising, but somehow not as messy. Great thread, by the way.

edit; i change my answer. soft so it would break the door
Last edited by Tag43 at Jul 26, 2014,
#15
I feel like it just squish up and be fine if it's flaccid but it would snap off if it was hard.
#17
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
Definitely flaccid so the skin doesn't split and spew blood all over the onlookers

Your dick isn't just a skin balloon full of blood.


It's actually two... surrounded by muscle... and then skin.
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
#19
Quote by Skynyrd890
Your dick isn't just a skin balloon full of blood.


It's actually two... surrounded by muscle... and then skin.

Don't tell me what my dick isn't.
#20
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
Don't tell me what my dick isn't.

Why is your dick so anti-conformist?
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
#21
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
Definitely flaccid so the skin doesn't split and spew blood all over the onlookers

I've had my hand shut on a car door and nothing happened beyond bruising, so I think that's being a little overdramatic.
#22
Quote by Skynyrd890
Why is your dick so anti-conformist?

It was neglected as a child
Quote by genghisgandhi
I've had my hand shut on a car door and nothing happened beyond bruising, so I think that's being a little overdramatic.

Are you implying that your hand is a dick?
#23
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts

Are you implying that your hand is a dick?

they say if you spend enough time with someone you start to turn into them...
#24
Hard. I feel like if you did it flaccid the car door would close with your dick stuck in there, and if it was hard the car door would bounce back.
#25
if its hard your penis my burst with the pressure of door causing extreme hemorging and loss of blood. you would die or get severly injured.

if flacid you might get away with a pretty bad bruise or some bad cuts, but i dont think it would be as bad as that.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#26
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts

Are you implying that your hand is a dick?

I genuinely lol'd at that.
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
#27
Another follow up question is if the judge said you could choose the sentence between the one stated in OP or jail time which would you? or in layman terms, would you rather have a door slammed on your dick, or a dick slammed in your ass
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#28
Quote by genghisgandhi
they say if you spend enough time with someone you start to turn into them...

Are you implying that your dick is a hand?
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#29
Neither. I'd get a fake ID and move to a different continent. I'm not putting my dick in a car door. F*CK THAT. To the other guys, do it flaccid. It will be able to accomadate extra pressure. When its hard, the skin is stretched. Your dick is like a balloon, and its full when you're hard. The blood will either A: Flood into your body, damaging the clench muscle that allows you to get a boner in the first place or B: burst through the skin. This will be obscenely painfull and propably prevent you from ever having a boner again.
#31
I would go for flaccid, using the same logic that it would hopefully be like when a rat flattens itself to get under small gaps like between a door and the floor.


But I would likely ask the Judge for a more severe sentence that doesn't involve the possibility of losing my wang...and by wang I mean penis, not a small Asian friend (though I guess that's why it's refereed to as a Japs eye)
When I was eleven I broke the patio window and my mother sued me... She's always been a very aggressive litigator.
#35
Great thread, difficult question.

I'd wait and see whether the anticipation made me hard or not. Whatever state I was naturally in is my answer.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
#37
Quote by Wiegenlied
Another follow up question is if the judge said you could choose the sentence between the one stated in OP or jail time which would you? or in layman terms, would you rather have a door slammed on your dick, or a dick slammed in your ass

nice 1
#38
Death Penalty.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#39
Quote by Nelshizzle
Death Penalty.
Actually, I wanted to say this too.
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#40
Quote by MinterMan22
nice 1

penis
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
Page 1 of 2