[size="2"]went too far; and it was as far as the car would take us. in the desert, a look of guilt creased against the dusk mountains, red & blazing: a sparrow lands on the hood. (“i thought i wanted to go” ) flaps a limb wing or two and flies off; away. funny how you notice ‘em as they’re leaving. [/SIZE]
I don't like "away.", it doesn't sit well for me in terms of texture and I also think it is too much of a repetition of the previous line. Otherwise I loved this.