#1
This is the first thing I've written in quite awhile. It's not quite finished, and I'd love to hear any advice on how to improve it.

You sit upon your throne
Like His Holiness on Judgment Day
Casting disdained looks down below
Without realizing your flaws beneath the surface

Who are you to judge and say what's right?
More faults in you than the San Andreas line
Maybe one day you'll realize

Cracks open up
Shaking you off your throne
Who's so high and mighty now?

Now you lie upon the ground
Off your throne and broken now
Maybe now you'll see
You're not as perfect as you once thought

Who are you to judge and say what's right?
More faults in you than the San Andreas line
Maybe one day you'll realize

Cracks open up
Now you've fallen back to Earth
You're not so high and mighty now

One day you'll realize
And see your own fault line
Last edited by Aoh legend at Aug 26, 2014,
#2
Are those song lyrics? If not I don't really like these repeated verses like some kind of a chorus Anyway, it's a great piece of art, I love it.
#3
Quote by Mrrula
Are those song lyrics? If not I don't really like these repeated verses like some kind of a chorus Anyway, it's a great piece of art, I love it.

Thanks. And yes these are song lyrics.
#5
I've added some lines to the chorus and a small outro to make the song a bit lengthier and more complete.
Last edited by Aoh legend at Aug 26, 2014,