Well I am tired of watching youtube videos and searching for answers so I've come here for help, here's my situation:

I've been playing guitar for almost 3 years, I can play all the basics songs, a few scales, a few solos, sing and play with EASY strum patterns., play a long well with songs on the radio, and play ok rhythm casually with other musicians. But I feel like I've been stuck, every time I watch guys play local shows I realize how little I am moving. Before I give my questions I should note my only real long term goal would be to play bars or local shows, I don't care to be a pro, and I only really have interest in rhythm guitar and singing. I realize that for small solo gigs I do need a bit of solo stuff though, okay that being said:

How can I get better at playing and singing complicated strum patterns?

How much soloing/scales should I be practicing to just play in a 1-4 person band?

What can I do to add texture to my strumming (ie. foot tambourine, palm muting, etc)?

What other equipment should I think about for solo gigs? I have 3 guitars, microphones, amp now.

Like most beginners most of the songs I play are stuck in the first 4 frets, and when I watch local bands they play the whole neck, besides the obvious learning chords up the neck, how do you really work that into your playing?

I guess I will stick with that for now. Thank you.
There's only so much you can do before getting out and playing for real - and by that I mean join a group/band whatever and gig. You don't have to want to be a pro - but you learn more at gigs than sitting around wondering how to practice different scales or learn solos on your own. I've always said a gig = 3 practices because you operate at a different level. When in a band you should be practicing other skills such as queues, learning how the other members play, figuring out live starts, endings, and how to deliver the songs dynamically so people enjoy it. You get there by messing up, making mistakes, and yes sometimes stopping and starting songs multiple times and forgetting the words.

IMO you need to get out there and play - put instrument practice at #2 or #3.
Don't start trying to get gigs if you can only play frets 1-4. You'll embarrass yourself.

Get a teacher, learn theory, and become a musician, not just a guitar teacher.
I agree with kndavid about the gigging thing but you personally are clearly not at that level yet, get a teacher, they make everything easier, a good teacher is worth it for sure, learn songs that have solos and learn the solos, learn the pentatonic scale and go from there but get a teacher
"Music Without Emotion Is Like Food Without Flavour"
Paul Gilbert