#1
Right, I got this family member who is a total knobhead wanker whom I got a vendetta against cuz he's a cvntnugget. Now, I can't meet him in the street and sock him one, obviously, since that has legal implications and what-not.

So, I'm thinking about mailing him shit. I'm not sure whether I'll use dog shit or human shit yet, I'll figure it out eventually.

Thing is, he lives in a different country to me, so if I mail him something from the UK, he'll know it's me, because who else would mail him shit from the UK?

But that's a good thing.

He'll know it's me, but he won't be able to prove it. That'll drive him nuts and his wife as well.

However, does anyone know how legal this is? Could I get into trouble? Cuz if not, hell, I'll send him a package every odd week.
#2
Just shit through his letter box, saves on a stamp
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#5
I'm sure that if you look around a bit, you can find someone in his country who's willing to send him a box of poop in your name for a small fee.
#6
Quote by ultimate-slash
I'm sure that if you look around a bit, you can find someone in his country who's willing to send him a box of poop in your name for a small fee.


I'll give you a pound.
#7
Quote by Philip_pepper
Right, I got this family member who is a total knobhead wanker whom I got a vendetta against cuz he's a cvntnugget. Now, I can't meet him in the street and sock him one, obviously, since that has legal implications and what-not.

So, I'm thinking about mailing him shit. I'm not sure whether I'll use dog shit or human shit yet, I'll figure it out eventually.

Thing is, he lives in a different country to me, so if I mail him something from the UK, he'll know it's me, because who else would mail him shit from the UK?

But that's a good thing.

He'll know it's me, but he won't be able to prove it. That'll drive him nuts and his wife as well.

However, does anyone know how legal this is? Could I get into trouble? Cuz if not, hell, I'll send him a package every odd week.


In Britain, if it's being mailed for a genuine use, such as a fertiliser or as a sample for someone to study, then it's legal, although you'll probably have to get a permit to export biolgical matter first.

If it's being mailed maliciously to someone, then it's illegal under 'Section 1' of the 'Malicious Communications Act, 1988.'
It doesn't matter that the guy lives in a different country because the offence is commited where and when it is sent, not where and when it is recieved, so if you send it from Britain then it's an offence under British law, in turn making you liable, on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months or to a fine or to both.
#8
Quote by Philip_pepper
I'll give you a pound.


For two more pounds I'll give your friend a pound (of poop). Five pounds will give him two pounds (of poop).

Option 1: 3 for 1
Option 2: 5 for 2
Option 3: 10 for 5*

*Option 3 reguires at least two days' notice in order to acquire the right amount (of poop).

The number and size of the turds is to be decided by me and can vary per delivery. If you have any specific wishes, please contact me by replying to this post and receive a quote, free of charge.

Small print: In the event of any legal issues arising from the delivery of excrement, I will tell on you.


EDIT:
^Did you look that up or was it something you already knew for some reason?
Last edited by ultimate-slash at Aug 26, 2014,
#10
Quote by ultimate-slash



EDIT:
^Did you look that up or was it something you already knew for some reason?


I already knew that it was illegal to sent malicious mail from and within the UK but I looked up the details for clarity.
#11
Quote by K'Nuckles
I cannot believe this is a thing.


It's your website isn't it?
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#13
Quote by BelowTheSun
You could probably just show up at his door and it'd have a very similar effect.

Show up while he's out, and bang his wife.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#16
Quote by SlackerBabbath
I already knew that it was illegal to sent malicious mail from and within the UK but I looked up the details for clarity.


OK, I believe that.
Just wanted to make sure that you didn't have some life changing story about how you tried this once, and had to serve time because you got caught. In my imagination you would then have managed to get a law degree while in prison so that when you got out, you could prevent people from making the same mistakes you did.

That would be almost better than Shawshank Redemption if you ask me.

"What are you in for?"
"Ah, just some stupid shit."
Last edited by ultimate-slash at Aug 26, 2014,
#17
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Show up while he's out, and bang his wife.

She is kinda related to him, he'd probably be into that.
#19
Quote by SlackerBabbath
In Britain, if it's being mailed for a genuine use, such as a fertiliser or as a sample for someone to study, then it's legal, although you'll probably have to get a permit to export biolgical matter first.

If it's being mailed maliciously to someone, then it's illegal under 'Section 1' of the 'Malicious Communications Act, 1988.'
It doesn't matter that the guy lives in a different country because the offence is commited where and when it is sent, not where and when it is recieved, so if you send it from Britain then it's an offence under British law, in turn making you liable, on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months or to a fine or to both.


Sounds like you've been in court for this already. Who was it?
On playing the Paul Gilbert signature at the guitar store extensively, my missus sighed:
"Put it down now, It's like you love that guitar more than me!"
In Which I replied.
"Well it has got two F-Holes!"
#23
Quote by K'Nuckles
I cannot believe this is a thing.



If at any point, you get shocked/surprised at things on the internet, then you must be new to the internet.
#24
Quote by SlackerBabbath
In Britain, if it's being mailed for a genuine use, such as a fertiliser or as a sample for someone to study, then it's legal, although you'll probably have to get a permit to export biolgical matter first.

If it's being mailed maliciously to someone, then it's illegal under 'Section 1' of the 'Malicious Communications Act, 1988.'
It doesn't matter that the guy lives in a different country because the offence is commited where and when it is sent, not where and when it is recieved, so if you send it from Britain then it's an offence under British law, in turn making you liable, on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months or to a fine or to both.


I knew I could rely on the Pit for legit legal information.

But let's be honest, what are the chances that they track me down?

Quote by ChucklesMginty
Have you ever considered psychoanalysis Phil?


No way man, eye for an eye, tooth for tooth. It's in the bible. Act shit, get shit.
Last edited by Philip_pepper at Aug 26, 2014,
#25
Quote by SlackerBabbath
In Britain, if it's being mailed for a genuine use, such as a fertiliser or as a sample for someone to study, then it's legal, although you'll probably have to get a permit to export biolgical matter first.

so label your shit "fertilizer sample"
#26
Quote by Way Cool JR.
When I was a kid my step-dad wiped his ass with one of the bills and mailed it in as a payment.




omfg
#29
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Grow the hell up, Phillip.


I had a conversation with my mom about this. She's down for it as well and she's wiser than all of us combined.
#31
Quote by Philip_pepper
I had a conversation with my mom about this. She's down for it as well and she's wiser than all of us combined.



you know what else your mom is down for?
#33
Quote by stratkat
Well, shit's flammable, used in explosives, is biohazardous.

I'd say it's clear to send in US mail standard, yes.

This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
#34
No peppers, it is not legal to mail yourself.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
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