#1
Been a while since I've posted so ill C4C. I just managed to finish some old songs that had been in the back burner for some time now. They still need some work but for the most part they are completed just need to know what parts don't work and which do, I fear the tunes might be all over the place and lack direction. That's why I need some general input as to how the songs sound overall. thanks
Attachments:
Geochronmachane.gp5
Tetragramatron.gp5
Bellicose Fields.gp5
#2
I've listened to all three so far, and I have to say that you have some very good work here. If I had to pick between the three, I would say that Geochronmachane is my favorite. That's mainly because there's a lot of stuff going on, and quite honestly, it's groovy as hell.

I'll be as detailed as I can while simultaneously trying my best to keep it concise. I'll probably try to critique the other two a bit later.

Geo- Heavy Sludgy Intro

I love the introduction. I feel that all of the parts fit together properly. The juxtaposition of the lead guitar's long chords against the more fast-paced rhythm gives the piece a sense of desperation and urgency. The lead chords are fairly straight forward and don't clash against the occasional chords of the rhythm section. It sounds pretty nice. The drums set a nice groove that instantly makes you want to bob your head. The use of slap bass was also nice for this section.

Geo- Trudgin on Verse

The transition into this section may need a little bit of work if you intended to really streamline the two parts. With that said, considering the fact that it's within a progressive metal context, I've certainly heard much more radical shifts than in this particular section (examples would include some of the later parts in this same piece). All in all, the transition is good as is, especially taking into account the genre. As for the feel of this section, there's definitely a good buildup for the rest of the song. A very strong sense of rhythm going into the next part.

Geo- Crystalline Chorus

Cool feel to this one. Kind of funky in a way, but at the same time, it has an almost primal undertone to it with the drums. I do wonder how it would sound if the guitars and bass were backed off a tad while the synth was more pronounced. I think those dynamics would enhance that cool atmospheric vibe that it already has, but that's just my opinion.


I like the Heavy Funk/Outro Lead/Descent parts within the context of this song, so I'll skip ahead.


Geo- Floating riffs / Techno Fade

Commenting on these sections is weird for me. I love the instrumentation here--but I'm not sure that I like it for this particular song. My first time listening to Geochronmachane, when I heard this section, I thought "damn, that's really nice--but I wish it were in a different song." A big part of it is because of the very abrupt transitions into it, but overall, it just doesn't fit within the song as a whole. It's too "lethargic" for this particular song. This song was grooving hard from the very beginning. The forced transitions into these parts really highlight that particular point, IMO. In my honest opinion, and I hate to say it, but I feel these parts should probably be taken from the song. I would, however, like to hear these little interludes in an entirely different context. A lot of work went into it. These parts are awesome, and it would be a shame if you scrapped these ideas entirely.

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I hope I wasn't too harsh with my criticism, because I honestly did enjoy listening to your stuff.

I'd appreciate it if you could critique my pieces--preferably Invictus, as I haven't gotten any feedback on that one yet. You could choose whatever you want though. Thank you.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1652726
#3
Thanks for the reply and no offense taken here, you were pretty good at giving me a clear understanding of what i can do to improve the song. I guess i just added a little to much when i came back to finish it which makes sense and a keen observation on your part. Ya i wont discard those riffs since they can probably work on a more melody heavy tune instead of rhythmic one like this one.
#4
@Theunknownguest: Hey man, the piece I liked the most of these three was Tetragramatron. I love really well-composed Melodic Black Metal. I don't have time for a full crit but that was the one I enjoyed the most by far. All the ideas were really fresh and musical. There were only a few things I disliked; one was the repeats (modify the percussion to keep it interesting throughout along with some guitar fills) and the end solo (felt cluttered due to the arpeggios and solo at the same time). I think if you would be able to weave the arpeggios into the solo itself then it would be much better. Otherwise you've got a killer tune and I hope you write in this style more often.

Keep me updated if you record it or write more in this style. I have "recent" pieces on here which you're welcome to critique but they're more or less finalised. Take care buddy.
#5
Okay, first off, amazing and inspiring work. I enjoy the competent writing of all the instruments and the wide variety of styles and influences you employ, along with the awesome rhythmic and melodic mind you've got. Superb chord usage and note choice as well. I also dig the somberness and desperation of it. Some might mind the all over the place nature of some of it, but I like that style of writing. Really awesome stuff. If a band wrote and recorded music like this, vocals or no vocals, they'd easily become a favorite of mine, despite being a tad repetitive.

Geochronmachne -

I hope you don't get offended by my use of terminology when I say that the intro and the Trudgin' on verse sounded like very meaty post-hardcore. I also agree that some of the repeats could have replaced by some slight variations and added fills in guitar and percussion to keep things interesting. The funky interlude grooves well. The slow break and the floating riffs were heavenly and reminded me of a lot of low-fi & shoegaze stuff I've heard. Really delicious sound textures and a mellow tone. As for the Descent, nice use of synth. I'm not a big synth fan, but even I can appreciate it when used well, and I couldn't imagine this part without it. The technoish fade out was a very climatic, post-rockish moment for me. Those crescendos and decrescendos on the hi-hat were a perfect touch. All together I'm a fan of the huge sound and the technicality you write with.

Tetragramatron -

I liked the spacey, groovy first few measures and the way they abruptly transitioned into the driving, blackish, synth heavy verse. The repeating tremelo section could have had some drum fills to spice it up, even though it sounds great as is. The post-verse is pure catchiness. I appreciate the dancing sweeps in the chorus. Also, the chords, simple but effective drums, and synth provide a nice platform for it. The interlude/breakdown sounded like masterful post-hardcore writing. Probably my favorite part of the song. The drums really stood out for me, here. I also appreciate the catchy rhythm guitar and basswork, along with the two leads. The additions made by the Lead/Solo track in the section were perfect. The ending passage with the solo was also neat.

Bellicose Fields -

I enjoy this song a ton as well. It has consistent metalcore feel in my opinion. Nice catchy intro/verse riffs. The lead starting at measure 17 and the chugs under it are nice and catchy. The 7/8 sort of chorus section here is another masterful written melodic section. I can't wait to see what you do with the rhythm section here. Next, I thoroughly enjoyed the juxtaposition of the big chords and octave chords you used for the proceeding section, and the little lick that track 1 does. The section after the second chorus at measure 145 does some great post-hardcoreish melodic riffing. And the 4/4, 3/4 section was catchy, though a bit repetitive. The chord at 185 (I love when cool chords are just allowed to ring) was a nice way to transition in to the well-crafted soft 6/4 riff. That sweep solo that Track 2 does over it is great. And the chords after that were just a perfect way to end the song.

I love this stuff, man. Keep up the good work!

Edit: I'd also love it if you could lend some critique to my works.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1656381
Last edited by Million Dead at Sep 14, 2014,