Poll: was letting her go was the right decision?
Poll Options
View poll results: was letting her go was the right decision?
yes
19 95%
no
1 5%
Voters: 20.
Page 1 of 2
sbhsbh2
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2014
27 IQ
#1
i really wanted to open a pool about that question so i'm sorry if there is a minor violation in this thread.

here is the summery of what has been said:
me:
quick question:

so im 20 years old and i've had the 'opportunity' to date a girl who i find quite attractive but lack the 'day to day' conversation on topics which interest me and we met a couple of times,most of them in her room (in her house..duhh),i've felt like i'm using her because it seemed that she is interested in me and i'm find her personality quite not appealing(to put it mildly).
on the advice of her (she)friend (which also introduced us to each other) i've decided a while ago to let her go because her pain could be potentially worse then what i can gain in this situation(mostly selfish things).

i'm interested to know what would you had done(big grammar error sits somewhere in this sentence) in my situation :|

not me:
Not having things to talk about doesn't translate over to not find her personality appealing. You need to elaborate.

me:
its the little thing that sum up:
her favorite hobby is dancing, i hate dancing
she is childish in mind(and in age 'eyebrows'(18)) and i'm have an adult mind(well that sound even weirder)
she thinks math is stupid, im in my final year of electrical engineering
she has no solid opinion on topic that matter,i do
in a SINGLE sentence :we have 3 years apart us but it feels more like 5-7

not me:
But did you get along?

me:
we had a little chemistry but it just wasn't good enough to be serious in my point of view.
what interest me is to know what other fellow male mind would do in this situation

not me:
Not everyone you see has to be gearing for marriage, in my opinion. If you were different, but still enjoyed each other's company, I don't see why you couldn't have stuck around, assuming this was known.

Not everything has to be serious

Hey, can I ask you a question?
Obvs
What are you looking for?
Oh, nothing serious
Really? I'm glad you said that because I'm not really looking for anything serious either
*Marvin Gaye*

Alternatively:
Hey, can I ask you a question?
Obvs
What are you looking for?
Oh, Nothing serious
*Homer Simpson walks backwards into the hedge*

me:
its more of an abusment... i knew that the RELATIONSHIP wont stand more than a couple of months and didnt want her to get high hopes... i'm starting to thing that maybe i've got the wrong advice...maybe there was foul play in the adviser side..
but then again...it happend a couple of weeks ago and i've since tried to date the one who advice me because i find in her what lacked in the first one but she didnt wanted me |;
Will Lane
ee-elle-atey-for
Join date: Aug 2014
3,852 IQ
#5
Yeah man. Letting her go for now is good bro. I wouldn't date anyone that wasn't as mature as me. You're 20 and you're in your final years of school, about to get a killer job: you're ready to get serious. Dating someone mentally younger than you, especially at your age, is uber dangerous. You're looking to start getting a career, a life plan, your own apartment/pad, and eventually settle down. If she isn't ready to start doing that kind of thing too (I say start because she's 2 years younger), that isn't something you should go for.

She sounds like she might need some maturing before you should be interested again. I'm 18 now, so I'm having to start doing "adult" things now. She should be an adult with you.

#confusingbutitried
Spambot_2
UG's rum aficionado
Join date: Jan 2013
1,824 IQ
#7
If you don't enjoy staying with her I'd say it had been for the best to let her go.

I haven't seen her though, and her appearance might have altered my decision.
Without seeing her, I'd say you made a good choice.
Name's Luca.

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Bladez22
Faerie boy
Join date: Sep 2010
241 IQ
#8
those last paragraphs are a mess, i cant even begin to understand what you're trying to say

You don't have to like the same things in order to "work" in a relationships, if you both liked exactly the same things it'd be so boring after a week
I guess I still miss you
Oh well, it's me and you
What else should we do?
When talking is for functioning people
OddOneOut
UG's Essex Girl
Join date: Jan 2005
175 IQ
#12
Whats the point in being around someone if you don't really like them?
Quote by Renka
OddOneOut is an Essex S&M mistress and not a pirate or a computer program.

sbhsbh2
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2014
27 IQ
#13
"Whats the point in being around someone if you don't really like them?"

i've haven't been in a fruitful relationship so i guesses the experience gained could be a major gain against all the odds of making her feel bad

as i said,the worst part is that in the same week that i had to tell her its not going to work(after a month of seeing each other) i've been told by the one who introduced us that she enjoys being with me and everything but just don't have that spark feeling with me(don't find me attractive enough)... rough week for all 3 of us
Last edited by sbhsbh2 at Sep 2, 2014,
Eastwinn
through being cool
Join date: Dec 2008
3,131 IQ
#14
math is stupid

sounds like you're interested in her enough for anything serious. if she's convinced you two will have something serious, don't do it. like you said, it won't last long and you'll hurt her (unless it turns out great, but you seem to doubt that). if she's willing to have a fling that isn't so serious, i would go for it. in my limited experience, if she's looking for something serious she won't settle for less.
to me this is for real
NewDayHappy
UG Senior Member
Join date: Feb 2014
216 IQ
#16
See if you can poke her guts first.
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Spambot_2
UG's rum aficionado
Join date: Jan 2013
1,824 IQ
#17
Quote by sbhsbh2
just because you *burp* asked...here is a snippet:

http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2u3w969&s=8#.VAYjvPmSxOw

Wubba lubba dub-dub!
Yeah now I'm positive you made a good choice.
No offense to any of you, though still.
Name's Luca.

Quote by OliOsbourne
I don't know anything about this topic, but I just clicked on this thread because of your username :O
Quote by Cajundaddy
Clue: amplifiers amplify so don't turn it on if you need quiet.
Quote by chrismendiola
I guess spambots are now capable of reading minds.
Last edited by Spambot_2 at Sep 2, 2014,
MadClownDisease
Just a Turing Machine.
Join date: Apr 2006
982 IQ
#19
That was pretty hard to follow, but basically you were with a girl you weren't really attracted to, apart from physically? So you broke up with her?

Yeah of course that was the right decision. You were with a girl you didn't really like, why on earth would breaking up have been a bad choice?
sbhsbh2
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2014
27 IQ
#20
i guess that that relationship had too many shortcomings to live.

on a whole other note,without sounding obsessive,if a girl truly enjoys my sense of comedy,my style,and quite frankly adores me professionally but don't find me romantically attractive(go figure),i lack the romantic spark in her opinion(so she choose not to go for it because as she says "im not sure about this") how low are the chances of a change in her mind?
Baby Joel
Join date: May 2008
6,273 IQ
#22
I assume you're asking the 'anyone?' bit to the question in your last post, about if a girl essentially enjoys your company, but isn't romantically interested, what are the odds of her changing her mind?

What's really fascinating here is that despite popular opinion, the female 'race' is composed of completely unique individuals, all with their own unique reactions and feelings towards people. One girl might one day decide that she actually does really like you. Another girl might one day decide she actually hates you. One girl might one day decide that she has no change of her opinion towards you.

Everyone is different. The 'odds' of something like that happening is useless to calculate.

If you like someone, then you need to take the step. The same applies to her perspective. If she likes you, she will take the step.
vayne92
UG's Fedora Enthusiast
Join date: Jan 2011
2,974 IQ
#23
Quote by Bladez22
those last paragraphs are a mess, i cant even begin to understand what you're trying to say


This. I kind of gave up reading halfway through.

Also, there's no way this can be a serious question..
What ****** would date someone that they can't converse with and don't enjoy being around? You don't date someone because of their looks, you sleep with them because of their looks. Looks like you accomplished that mission so time to move on TS. Don't date someone you don't want to date. What a terrible idea.

EDIT:

Quote by sbhsbh2
i've haven't been in a fruitful relationship so i guesses the experience gained could be a major gain against all the odds of making her feel bad


Last edited by vayne92 at Sep 3, 2014,
arcanom
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2013
486 IQ
#24
Just tell her that you find her attractive and you are into **** buddy sort of stuff. If she is into it both sides profit.

If you want a serious relationship dont waste your time with her because equal maturity is key for a healthy relationship. You wont be able to respect her opinions and actions if you dont believe she is as mature as you are.

edit: also stop being beta and consider what you want, not what she wants. People fall into misery because they fool themselves saying "I dont want to hurt her" which is actually "I dont know what I want, I'm a ****ing coward and I will just make a fool of myself by handing the leashes to her"
Last edited by arcanom at Sep 3, 2014,
ultimate-slash
Playing the tempeh
Join date: Oct 2007
755 IQ
#25
Quote by Spambot_2
If you don't enjoy staying with her I'd say it had been for the best to let her go.

I haven't seen her though, and her appearance might have altered my decision.
Without seeing her, I'd say you made a good choice.


So, to sum up your post:
Pics?
Leaving the choirs behind to sing
of anything fair
of lilac spring
.
MadClownDisease
Just a Turing Machine.
Join date: Apr 2006
982 IQ
#29
Quote by sbhsbh2
please explain

Do you really think this girl will appreciate having pictures of her posted to strangers on a forum for them to judge whether she's attractive enough for you to continue having a relationship with her?

I'd very much like for this girl to see this thread and see how little worth her time you are.
Last edited by MadClownDisease at Sep 3, 2014,
SexyBeast810
Shut up and thrash
Join date: Jul 2013
96 IQ
#30
The best answer I can give to you is that if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. If you are only dating her for her looks, then it's not worth dating her. Like vayne92 said, you sleep with people for their looks, you date them for their personality. If she was just a bitch, then I think you made the right choice.
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sbhsbh2
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2014
27 IQ
#31
i guess i'm a real newbie when it comes to human dignity....
in my effortless defense,you sarcastically asked for this pictures and with my apatheticness i chose to upload them
ultimate-slash
Playing the tempeh
Join date: Oct 2007
755 IQ
#32
Holy crap, I didn't know asking for pics actually worked. But yeah, perhaps it's better not to listen to me in the future

In all seriousness though, if you don't like someone's personality, it's never going to be a fulfilling relationship.
Leaving the choirs behind to sing
of anything fair
of lilac spring
.
BjarnedeGraaf
UG's bear
Join date: May 2012
2,725 IQ
#33
Quote by Baby Joel
I assume you're asking the 'anyone?' bit to the question in your last post, about if a girl essentially enjoys your company, but isn't romantically interested, what are the odds of her changing her mind?

What's really fascinating here is that despite popular opinion, the female 'race' is composed of completely unique individuals, all with their own unique reactions and feelings towards people. One girl might one day decide that she actually does really like you. Another girl might one day decide she actually hates you. One girl might one day decide that she has no change of her opinion towards you.

Everyone is different. The 'odds' of something like that happening is useless to calculate.

If you like someone, then you need to take the step. The same applies to her perspective. If she likes you, she will take the step.



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E7#9
Registered missle cruiser
Join date: May 2011
183 IQ
#35
To clarify this thread is a copy and paste of a question he asked in the relationship thread and the ensuing responses from other UGers.

That [partly] explains why it's so convoluted
MadClownDisease
Just a Turing Machine.
Join date: Apr 2006
982 IQ
#36
Quote by E7#9
To clarify this thread is a copy and paste of a question he asked in the relationship thread and the ensuing responses from other UGers.

That [partly] explains why it's so convoluted

Ahhh that makes sense, I thought he was quoting a conversation he had with a friend.


It's especially confusing considering one of the people he quotes also writes out a hypothetical conversation.
Arthur Curry
UnBanned
Join date: Apr 2006
2,268 IQ
#37
Quote by MadClownDisease
Do you really think this girl will appreciate having pictures of her posted to strangers on a forum for them to judge whether she's attractive enough for you to continue having a relationship with?

I'd very much like for this girl to see this thread and see how little worth her time you are.


listen to MadClownDisease.

Simply tell this girl you aren't interested and you will both be better for it.
sbhsbh2
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2014
27 IQ
#38
it seems that i wasn't clear enough but i already said to her that it wont work a month ago and i'm just gathering some opinion on my actions.
it has no real implications on the future(at least it dose not seem that way) of our relationship
Ssargentslayer
Registered Abuser
Join date: Sep 2007
780 IQ
#39
She younger than you eh?


EDIT:
Quote by sbhsbh2
its more of an abusment...
Dude.. Domestic violence is NOT amusing
Last edited by Ssargentslayer at Sep 3, 2014,
Weaponized
Creaky
Join date: Mar 2011
1,756 IQ
#40
Quote by Ssargentslayer
She younger than you eh?

this
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If she is poor then she is a fucking idiot despite being an atheist.


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