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#2
A Cat caught a cock, and pondered how he might find a reasonable excuse for eating him. He accused him of being a nuisance to men by crowing in the nighttime and not permitting them to sleep. The cock defended himself by saying that he did this for the benefit of men, that they might rise in time for their labors. The Cat replied, "Although you abound in specious apologies, I shall not remain supperless"; and he made a meal of him.
#4
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
A Cat caught a cock, and pondered how he might find a reasonable excuse for eating him. He accused him of being a nuisance to men by crowing in the nighttime and not permitting them to sleep. The cock defended himself by saying that he did this for the benefit of men, that they might rise in time for their labors. The Cat replied, "Although you abound in specious apologies, I shall not remain supperless"; and he made a meal of him.


this is still hilarious after 20 threads
sometimes I see us in a cymbal splash or in the sound of a car crash
#6
Dude

I have no idea

Every time I see someone randomly grab their dick I think they have some sort of STD

like you know when your nose itches and you scratch it, feels amazing.
Can't scratch your dick in public, so you may as well hold it

best I can come up with
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#7
Hey I would actually like to know the answer to this. I will be monitoring this thread like a monitor lizard
cat
#8
She's holding your baggy pants up in a #edgy way that doesn't involve holding them up from your butt.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
Last edited by Joshua Garcia at Sep 3, 2014,
#9
It's the manifestation of the constant battle between the id's desire and need for sexual stimulation and the superego trying to keep the id in check to maintain the outward disposition of asexuality that is required by modern society.


#13
the arrangement of the skin and hair, especially while wearing underwear and trouser, means that whole area is subject to regular itches forming.

also the sensitivity of the genitals provide a gentle pleasure that is small enough to be acted on subliminally and is hard to restrain like a more overt and intense pleasure reaction such as straightforward masturbation


penises are also fun to hold and play with and I feel bad for the vehement heterosexuals who do not extend that joy to holding other penises.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#15
Quote by theguitarist

penises are also fun to hold and play with and I feel bad for the vehement heterosexuals who do not extend that joy to holding other penises.


The reason I have fun playing with my own penis is that it feels good, like, playing with someone elses penis definitely wouldn't be as fun.

unless maybe they were playing with mine back, which would probably be nice, but other than that a dudes body offer nothing to me. I may as well be masturbating, I like boobs and the curves of a womans body. Anything else and It may as well be a tree


Actually, you know when you put your arms behind your back and someone sticks their arms out for you

I reckon if there was a hot chick that did that with a dude behind her that gave me a handy I'd probably get off

I think i'm gay now, shit
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#16
Quote by guitarxo
Hey I would actually like to know the answer to this. I will be monitoring this thread like a monitor lizard


Thing is, I often do it without realizing. And I look down and think to myself "why am I holding my dick?" whilst holding my dick.

When Germany was playing Argentina during the World Cup final I was tight-gripping my dick since they scored. I was utterly nervous, couldn't help myself.
#17
The goal of pulses is to plant the seeds of peace rather than discontinuity. Power is the driver of choice.
#18
The answer is simple

If you have a dick to grab, why not?

As simple as that. And also what theguitarist said about the skin/hair clothing arrangement and itching
ayy lmao
#19
It all dates back to 1908 when the first joystick was used in Louis Bleriot's airplane.
He had gotten so used to navigating with it that, on his days off, he found himself longing to be back in the cockpit holding his joystick again.
Anyways as time went on he became more dependent on using a joystick to navigate and unwillingly began steering himself around with his junk while walking down the street.
Friends of his seen this and thought it was gangsta, and soon began the trend of grabbing your "Louis Stick" in public.
#20
Quote by UltimateGuizar
It all dates back to 1908 when the first joystick was used in Louis Bleriot's airplane.
He had gotten so used to navigating with it that, on his days off, he found himself longing to be back in the cockpit holding his joystick again.
Anyways as time went on he became more dependent on using a joystick to navigate and unwillingly began steering himself around with his junk while walking down the street.
Friends of his seen this and thought it was gangsta, and soon began the trend of grabbing your "Louis Stick" in public.

omg is that why its called a cockpit?
#22
often at first to rearrange then just cause it's comfortable
i don't know why i feel so dry
#25
Quote by Ssargentslayer
sry dad

Don't apologize to me, apologize to your cockpit. And get off that computer for once, go outside and find a girl to bring home.


Don't forget to bring the garbage out.
#26
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
Although you abound in specious apologies, I shall not remain supperless"
Damn this sound nice, I wanna use it in a song or say it to a girl when hitting on her.
Name's Luca.

Quote by OliOsbourne
I don't know anything about this topic, but I just clicked on this thread because of your username :O
Quote by Cajundaddy
Clue: amplifiers amplify so don't turn it on if you need quiet.
Quote by chrismendiola
I guess spambots are now capable of reading minds.
Last edited by Spambot_2 at Sep 3, 2014,
#27
Quote by Spambot_2
Damn this sound nice, I wanna use it in a song or say it to a girl when hitting on her.

Say it before you eat a girl out on her period
#28
That manages to be both the best and the by far worst idea I've heard today.

I'll do that.

As soon as I have a girl to eat out
Name's Luca.

Quote by OliOsbourne
I don't know anything about this topic, but I just clicked on this thread because of your username :O
Quote by Cajundaddy
Clue: amplifiers amplify so don't turn it on if you need quiet.
Quote by chrismendiola
I guess spambots are now capable of reading minds.
#29
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
Say it before you eat a girl out on her period



shit


When watching tv or reading or whatevs i find that my hand migrates itself down there sometimes without me knowing. Guess it's the warmth yo
Sail upon the open skies
#30
my junk is pretty hefty and I need to reassure and comfort my genitals that are uncomfortable from being forced to squeeze and conform to the small bunched shape that my clothing demands.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#31
Quote by theguitarist
my junk is pretty hefty and I need to reassure and comfort my genitals that are uncomfortable from being forced to squeeze and conform to the small bunched shape that my clothing demands.

It is a pretty sad bunch of (separate) moments when this is required throughout the day. Why can't the companies that mass produce our clothes make it more comfortable for penises and balls?
#32
As a penis-haver, I'm baffled by others' public junk fondling. Sometimes I'll adjust my underwear because it's uncomfortable having all that squishy nonsense hanging around and getting caught up in the folds of my underwear. This is not what I see happening. Peeps be cradling their members, picking their noses and scratching their asses in plain sight like goddamn STD-infested rhesus monkeys.


Don't touch me. Wash your hands.


****ing animal.
Last edited by AmalgamOfMeat at Sep 3, 2014,
#33
Quote by AmalgamOfMeat
As a penis-haver, I'm baffled by others' public junk fondling. Sometimes I'll adjust my underwear because it's uncomfortable having all that squishy nonsense hanging around and getting caught up in the folds of my underwear. This is not what I see happening. Peeps be cradling their members, picking their noses and scratching their asses in plain sight like goddamn STD-infested rhesus monkeys.


Don't touch me. Wash your hands.


****ing animal.

Imma rub my junk all over you. Not really, though. But quit being disgusted.
#34
Quote by AmalgamOfMeat
As a penis-haver, I'm baffled by others' public junk fondling. Sometimes I'll adjust my underwear because it's uncomfortable having all that squishy nonsense hanging around and getting caught up in the folds of my underwear. This is not what I see happening. Peeps be cradling their members, picking their noses and scratching their asses in plain sight like goddamn STD-infested rhesus monkeys.


Don't touch me. Wash your hands.


****ing animal.

I know we discussed this before, your junk is probably one of the cleanest places on your body, your hands and mouth are the dirtiest. You should be washing your dick after you take a piss because you touched it with your hands.
#35
I never ever grab my dick in public. But in private my hand is CONSTANTLY down my pants. Not even in a sexual way either.
#36
Well sometimes it gets all bunched up with my underwear. Sometimes it sticks to my thighs. When it's hot my balls sag like fat elderly womans' breasts and the balls turn and that can actually be quite dangerous if you don't turn them back. Sometimes I have to pee and don't want to piss all over myself or the bathroom.


If I need to adjust while in public well I'll just wait until I'm somewhere where no one will see cause I'm not rude and the last thing I need is my hands down my pants and a child walks by and I have to go door to door in my neighborhood telling them I'm a pederass.
Last edited by Wormholes at Sep 3, 2014,
#37
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Imma rub my junk all over you.
u wish sam bb

Quote by Ssargentslayer
I know we discussed this before, your junk is probably one of the cleanest places on your body, your hands and mouth are the dirtiest. You should be washing your dick after you take a piss because you touched it with your hands.
I don't think I was a part of that discussion. My problem is less with cleanliness and more with the disregard for others (particularly kids) that may not be comfortable with watching a man fondle himself in public. I said "wash your hands" because I don't want these exhibitionists spreading their essence
#38
I only hold my penis to pee or to commit sinful acts
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#39
Quote by Ssargentslayer
You should be washing your dick after you take a piss because you touched it with your hands.



This single sentence may be the most life-changing thing I have ever read.


Also, as a man, I can honestly say that I've never grabbed my junk in public for no reason. Maybe a quick tug (outside the clothes) to readjust position, but never grabbed and held for no apparent reason.
#40
Quote by Ssargentslayer
You should be washing your dick after you take a piss because you touched it with your hands.

Just imagine you walk into a public restroom, like in a restaurant or airport or something, and there's like three guys with their dicks out in the sink, just lathering them up with soap and washing them
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
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