#1
So, I posted the video in the comunity thread, but I'll put it in here again in the spoiler below; also in spoilers I'll put the Portuguese version of the lyrics, since they're the lyrics to the song and the original version. Feel free to crit any version, although I'm not sure if anyone in here speaks Portuguese. Here it goes:



Filhos Do Mesmo Céu

Ambos estávamos fartos
destes redores exactos
aos quais chamamos de vida;

estes dias semelhantes,
que nem ciclos saturantes
sem aparente saída,

aprisionam-nos à dor,
enfiam-nos falta de amor
nas nossas mentes já fracas,

p’ra que lágrimas molestas
sejam só o que me resta
p’ra implorar que não partas.

Pois preciso da tua mão,
de abrigo e dedicação,
onde posso refugiar

tudo o que me atormenta:
deixa a minha alma cinzenta
à espera que a venhas salvar.

Mas todo este egoísmo,
fruto do meu narcisismo,
fez-me cego para não ver

que a minha dor é tua;
tal como eu, estás nua,
vítima fácil do chover.

Abrigados no mesmo céu,
farei de tudo p’ra que eu
te proteja nos meus braços;

e abraçada ao meu tronco,
segura no meu assombro,
tornaremos corpos laços

e deles faremos casa.
Viveremos em desgraça
até nos contaminarmos

com doença e infecção,
falsa paixão e sedução -
portos p’ra nos ancorarmos.

Mas como qualquer mal cessa,
deixo-te aqui a promessa
que estamos num bom caminho.

Alvo da minha carência,
enraizei dependência -
não consigo estar sozinho.

Pois tu és o meu céu limpo;
és o meu azul sucinto;
és a voz que me faz dizer:

quando não houver mais nada,
estar contigo de mão dada
é razão p’ra sobreviver.



We have both had enough
of these exact surroundings
to which we call life;

these similar days, like
saturating cycles,
with no apparent exit

imprison us to the pain,
shove us lack of love
on our already weak minds

so that vexatious tears
will be all I have left
to implore you not to leave,

for I need your sheltering
and dedicated hand
where I can refuge myself.

All that torments me
leaves my soul gray,
waiting to be saved.

But all this egoism,
fruit of my narcissism
blinded me 'til I couldn't see

that your pain is mine -
like me, you are naked -
an easy target to the rain.

And, sheltered on the same sky,
I'll do anything so I
can protect you in my arms

and embraced on my torso,
safe in my haunting,
we'll make bodies bonds

and, from them, build a home.
We'll live in disgrace
until we're contaminated

with disease and infection,
faux passion and seduction -
ports for us to anchor.

But like any evil ceases,
we'll live in the promise
that we're on the right path.

Target of my need,
I rooted dependency.
I can't be alone,

for you are my clean sky,
you are my clear blue,
you're the voice that makes me say

when there is nothing else,
being with you with hands held
is a reason to survive.
#2
This is very raw, I wouldn't change it much at all. With the music like that it's best if you're just being really straightforward like this, sometimes that's the best way to show emotion.

I don't speak Portuguese but that version still sounds awesome. Which language was it initially written in? My bet is the English is translated, just wanna see if I'm right.

So nice to be reading song lyrics on here and actually be able to listen as I read.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#3
Thanks !

Yeah, the English is translated. The rhyme scheme gets ruined but I still like the way it sounds in English as a poem, so I translated it.

I was lucky a group was there and really liked my performance and that song in specific, so they asked me to play it again so they could record it, and they put it on Youtube. They got the title all wrong and my artistic name as well ( should be Filhos Do Mesmo Céu by The Bedroom Session ), but the recording sounds quite good and I'm just extremely happy they want to spread my name