#1
A quick song I wrote this afternoon, constructive criticism?

I've thrown away phrases from worn out old love songs
Everything still comes out wrong
Every so often, I'll hide from the world
Write one more song to my make believe girl
She might be somewhere that I'll never know
I can't imagine how far she would go, just to hear...

I can't buy you flowers
Don't plan on a ring
All that I've got is
This song that I'm singing to you...
My make believe girl

There have been times when I thought you were real
Your hair was jet-black, those eyes made me feel
Like nothin' was wrong, but nothin' was true
Those were the nights I mistook her for you
As hard as I try, I can't play pretend
Everyone thinks that I'm out of my head, anyway...

I can't buy you flowers
Don't plan on a ring
All that I've got is
This song that I'm singing to you...
My make believe girl
My make believe girl
My make believe girl

How many hours
Have I spent alone
Hoping to hear you say
You'd come back home to me...
In my make believe world
Last edited by Mainer at Sep 10, 2014,
#2
Good composition, I just want to congratulate you for your fantastic writing. I really fell in love with your improvisation
#3
An awesome creation. My make believe girl is good. believing any one in the world is so hard
#4
Good! I really appreciate how you didn't care about rhyming but it still flows perfectly(: