#1
Can you catch the wind
in your heavy hands?
Will it play with me
or will it fly away?
I'll chase it untill the sun
says goodbye to the land
and the moon that comes
kisses cheeks of yours.
I'll stay by the lake
for just a second more.
How long can it take, for one wave to flood the shore?


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It's a piece I wrote a long time ago so don't be too hard on me )
#3
the last line is lovely. i wish i could come up with something like that. anyway, this reminds me of one of your other pieces, i think that involved a lake and (if i am remembering) cheeks as well.

i wish there was a bit more coherence between the images and phrases here. while it flows well enough, you bring an image.moment to the foreground without inspecting it. for example, you have 1)the wind, 2)sun/moon, and finally 3) lake. the way you treat each one is brief and poetic, and the transition between the wind and the sun/moon is pretty good, but the last image seems out of place to me. i would like to read a stronger linking between the previous images and the last image.

still, nice work. thanks for posting.
#4
Yes, I know some of my poems are very alike, I have to come up with something new lol
Anyway, thank you for your nice words
#6
Like a wind each lines flows well. I really like it, if you give little more feelings to the lines then definitely you will get a good readers for you. Congrats for your work!!
#8
Stick to it, this is a simple yet good piece. I'd love to see you elaborate more on the imagery but retaining what you already have here. I've read some of your pieces, and yes. They're similar, but it means you're productive and can take your contexts and expand upon them. Feel free to keep doing that, but also try new things. You will be suprised how fun it can sometimes be.