#1
I've decided to write a song for my ex girlfriend which I plan to give to her on a CD in the hope of getting her back. The song talks about how we see each other all the time but act like complete strangers. It then talks about we should just forget everything that has happened and start again, and then how I regret ******* up our relationship.

If people could give me feedback on the song itself and also the recording/mixing that would be highly appreciated; I need this to be perfect!

http://picosong.com/98zJ/
Last edited by JordanC97 at Sep 21, 2014,
#3
On song, I think the singing could sound a little less neutral, I think it's lacking emotion. The drums have a bit too much attack to them, the bass could be a little bit more lively.
I know you might see the focus somewhere else, but an additional vocal/guitar/synth melody would really work. Maybe even as a solo part or as an bridge to the last chorus or as a break before the last chorus? Just a suggestion.

I know it might be a bit more "my style", but I wouldn't end the song this way, maybe let the main theme on the acoustic repeat once or twice, change it up a bit, give it an interesting flavor and make it really sound like that you've worked really hard on this.

The acoustic version definitely needs more percussive/rhythmic feel to it. It would definitely sound nice like this if you played it live, I suppose, but I always find it interesting to challenge myself.
Gear pics

Quote by Cathbard
Bugera cloning Blackstar is a scandal cloaked in a tragedy making love to a nightmare.

Last edited by Sakke at Sep 21, 2014,
#4
First version:

Wasn't expecting decent vocals (i usually dont with a lot of songs nowadays lets be honest), but was pleased with the tone I heard. Didn't want this to be given to your ex and have it turn out being cringworthy. I would never support such a dramatic act, but you do a good job of the vocals. The progression is simple enough.

Acoustic version:

THis song was meant for a more acoustic version, this version sounds much better. If you were to do this, let it be this one! No gripes with this version really, i think it sounds good!

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1656363
#5
Thanks for your feedback guys. I have take on what you said Sakke and added a vocal harmony in the chorus and a second guitar in the bridge/final chorus. It really adds a bit of power to the song I think. My next step will be to re-record the vocals because I still think they're a bit shaky in places, but thank you owen556!

http://picosong.com/9Aer/
#6
I can't decide which version I like better. I listened to them in the order you posted and liked it more and more each time. I thought I'd prefer the one without drums but went back and the drums are well written and well done. I guess you'd have to think about what the lady would prefer on that one.

The vocals sound great. I really the part "don't walk out that door" with the shots and stop. Nice. The reverb is really tasty too. Just enough to sweeten it up.

One suggestion if you go with the last version you posted, I can hear some flute or something playing a countermelody. Nothing fancy, just some long notes with that same reverb on it. But only if you can get someone to play it. Don't take away the natural sound you have by adding some artificial instrument.

Good luck, brother. I'm with you in the ex-gf situation. Let us know how she likes it!

How about a little distraction?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1656516