#1
There’s an hour in which the night before and the day after
are two concepts mixed and blended, mystified and uglified
and confusingly clear in your lagged mind, as you reel
along the sidewalk, among the scheming and the cheaters
and the traitors who pull their trench coat’s collar up to go by
incognito, as passing cars are facelessly driven
by some who may be returning or beginning.
The streetlamp’s light shines
an oneiric halo that beatifies Miracle Ave.
alone,
because everyone’s hands are dirty and damp,
hidden in gloves or pockets, because the stink of obscurity is
double-dyed inside nails, darkened and marked like
a forgotten stain of red wine.


(((((((a stranger exhales)))))))


His breath smokes up the night air in a burgundy mist,
because no one’s spectre in here would be
pure enough to dress in white.
#2
I really like the way you wrote it, even though (or maybe it's just me) it's a bit confusing in some moments.
#3
that last stanza is awesome. it leaves me saying, "yes". i think the first stanza is a bit slow and wordy, but not necessarily because the words are dragging it down per se - you've selected great words with rich details and sounds - but something about it feels heavy. maybe that's the intention, and it isn't bad necessarily. the other thing i might say relating to this is that it's only two separate sentences, and perhaps breaking it up a bit could help soften it.

it's a nice read though, and the former cirticism is really a trivial and nit-picky observation. the way it ends is awesome, like i said. i wish i could end my poems with such gravitas. i still never figured out how to end that old piece you commented on like 7months ago - the one about finding "your heart, my love" and stuff. it's just sitting in my 'edits' folder.

anyway, thanks for posting.
#4
Nice imagery. Especially that last bit! I felt like a couple of words were a bit out of place though... 'uglified' to be precise.
#5
Not sure I like some of the rapid fire adjectives on everything. Some in particular: "uglified," "beatifies" (beaut?), "double-dyed."

I like the theme and imagery, though.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching