#1
I've been waiting for you
And I've figured out,
that the easiest way to die, is to fall
in love, but
anyway, if there's life after
death
both of them I wanna spend with you.


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Something different this time
#2
commendation for trying something different. not always easy.

i don't think this stands well. for one, just the ideas seem disjointed: waiting for love > dying as falling in love > spend both with you. given those are really basic words for the ideas you are expressing, i feel they don't mesh well: each is a concept and identity disparate from the rest. apart from that, in the poem, there's very little transition between them, so it feels jarring: one second we're at point A, the next at Q. this can be a tactful technique but here i am not so sure.

however, in terms of editing, i think adding punctuation/line breaks would help. was it you that said you dislike using punctuation? if so, i urge you to reconsider. it helps the reader know where the breaths are and can really make transitions between ideas a lot smoother. for example:

I've been waiting for you ([color="Red"]punctuate[/COLOR])

And I've figured out, 
that the easiest way to die, is to fall
in love, [color="Red"](punctuate[/COLOR])

but
anyway, ([color="Red"]punctuate[/COLOR]) if there's life after
death ([color="Red"]punctuate[/COLOR])
both of them I wanna spend with you.


i think this already reads a bit smoother. the line breaks help transition, and then i put in color the areas i thought could be breathing points, or pauses.

still, maybe that's not your cup of tea, and that's ok. i don't mean to offend you by *changing* your poem: i only mean to help offer possibilities to you. i appreciate the sentiment here a lot, and recognizing that it's in its fledgling life, i think there is potential here.

thanks for posting. i enjoy your works.