the gov are using tax money on swedish rabbit massages and monkey gambling lessons

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#1
Quote by Washington Times
More than a dozen lucky rabbits were given Swedish massages four times a day, courtesy of U.S. taxpayers, as part of a study to figure out whether massage can help recovery times after strenuous exercise — a practice Sen. Tom Coburn says makes a mockery of federal spending.

The rabbit massages are one of the hundred wasteful products Mr. Coburn, an Oklahoma Republican, identified in his latest edition of the Wastebook, an annual compendium of the ridiculous and outrageous items in government spending, which he is releasing on Wednesday.

Other highlights included the National Science Foundation paying academics to teach monkeys to gamble, government sponsorship of a children’s play about brain-eating zombies and a first-person combat shooting video game the Army developed — but which intelligence officials fear terrorists could use to train their own recruits. Indeed, Hezbollah has adapted the game’s design to train suicide martyrs.

Mr. Coburn’s investigators also found scientists putting mountain lions, monkeys, rats and cows on treadmills. That’s reminiscent of a previous famous item Mr. Coburn spotted that involved sticking shrimp on a treadmill to try to see if tired shrimp were less healthy.

“Only someone with too much of someone else’s money and not enough accountability for how it was being spent could come up [with] some of the zany projects the government paid for this year,” Mr. Coburn said upon releasing the report.

In the case of the rabbits, they weren’t put on treadmills but were forced to exercise in order to create stress.

Some of the rabbits were then given immediate massages, some were given delayed massages, and the unlucky ones weren’t given any massages at all. Scientists then tried to figure out if the massages helped.

Taxpayers paid $387,000 for the two-year study, which concluded that other studies were right, and massage seemed to help in recovery — though it wasn’t clear that rabbit physiology could be extrapolated to humans. The rabbits were euthanized at the end of the study, Mr. Coburn’s report says.


http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/oct/22/government-waste-includes-swedish-massages-rabbits/

wot
¯\_()_/¯
#2
we waste money on a lot of things.

someone find the figure for what the US spends yearly on the War on Drugs.

it's a big number.
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#5
While the money highlighted as wasted is ludicrous and offends me as a taxpayer, I suspect we have bigger concerns.

Something about swamps and alligators comes to mind...
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#6
nuclear weapons are pretty useless, you guys sure have spent a lot on those
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#7
This is why I contribute as little as possible from my annual income tax. I'll spend it all on tax deductible expenses and donations or withhold it in investments before they see a goddamn cent.

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#8
Thank god, somebody has to do this.

But for real, the amount of money spent on this is like a needle in a haystack compared to what we waste our money on and this type of exploratory research receives a proportionally small amount of money that they still have to compete for, compared to more "urgent" projects. Actually, it's like a microbe, on a needle, in a haystack.

Just look at how much the military spends on anything, social security and medicare/medicaid eat up a huge and growing chunk of the national budget (and aren't fully funded), teh war on drugz, any of the alphabet soup departments, etc. etc.
#9
only thing pointless about the rabbit massage study was that it was pretty much confirming existing studies. not really appropriate to be govt funded though as it's not something that is in the wide public health interest I'd say. then again it could have importance for keeping national athletes at peak.

still very small compared to other spending.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#10
Thing is that nobody is ever gonna be completely happy about how tax money is spent. That comes with having a civilization.
#11
Why would you perform that on rabbits when you can just do it on humans. Promise students some college credits and you basically have a better <$100 experiment.
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Last edited by Cianyx at Oct 24, 2014,
#12
Quote by Xiaoxi
This is why I contribute as little as possible from my annual income tax. I'll spend it all on tax deductible expenses and donations or withhold it in investments before they see a goddamn cent.

No, I'm pretty sure that's just because you're a greedy prick.

(please come up with a better comeback than "libtard")

All "this" is is a reason for republicans to jerk each other off.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#13
greed = good

libtard commie bastard

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#14
Quote by snipelfritz
No, I'm pretty sure that's just because you're a greedy prick.

(please come up with a better comeback than "libtard")

All "this" is is a reason for republicans to jerk each other off.


No, paying as little as legally required is just common sense. Do you go to a place of business and offer them more than they are asking for products?

Just because you're a freeloading tax-burden is hardly a reason to think him greedy for using the rules in place as they were intended.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#15
I don't know about anyone else but I seriously want to see that shirmp on the treadmill
It's over simplified, So what!

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Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
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#16
Goat = got

Quote by Xiaoxi
greed = good

libtard commie bastard

What did I say!

I'm just having a little fun anyway. Yes, we all would rather pay less taxes, but there's never any reason to talk a little bitch about it. It's comes off like throwing a tantrum because you don't want to eat your vegetables.
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#17
I like vegetables. I can buy lots of them, even the high falootin organic Whole Foods kinds, when a 3rd of my income isn't going down the toilet known as the federal government

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#18
Quote by Xiaoxi
organic Whole Foods

And I thought I was the liberal!

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#19
Quote by snipelfritz
And I thought I was the liberal!




He's trying to conserve his health, thus it's a conservative ideal...
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#20
a rich liberal is just a conservative in denial


...modes and scales are still useless.


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#22
Is Coburn up for reelection?

Either way this is just riling up their base to get out and vote. Nothing more.

#plsvotepls
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#23
Quote by UltimateGuizar
I don't see anything wrong here.
#yesallrabbits



I think they should be given beer and massaged before cooking!

Kobe Rabbit!
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Charles Darwin
#24
Coburn is not known for saving the taxpayer money so it's weird that he wrote this.
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brot pls
#25
Quote by BladeSlinger
Coburn is not known for saving the taxpayer money so it's weird that he wrote this.



Its all about the rhetoric, brohan.
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#26
Quote by BladeSlinger
Coburn is not known for saving the taxpayer money so it's weird that he wrote this.


wouldn't it be amazing if some of his own stupid things were in his own book?
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#28
Quote by JackWhiteIsButts
Why would you pay to have your rabbit massaged?

Why would you pay to have someone else's rabbit massaged?
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#29
Quote by Cianyx
Why would you perform that on rabbits when you can just do it on humans. Promise students some college credits and you basically have a better <$100 experiment.


Because you can't euthanize the humans afterwards.
#30
Quote by MeTallIcA313
Because you can't euthanize the humans afterwards.


can't is such a bounding word
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#33
Quote by Ninja Vampirate
anyone who has a problem with teaching monkeys how to gamble can actually fight me.

I wouldn't have a problem with it if the monkeys actually had jobs and weren't gambling with my tax dollars.

EDIT: what if the study wasn't just to find it they were able to understand the concept, but actually to produce a group of card-counting blackjack pro primates in order to...(at this point I was going to trail off on some Ocean's 12 type heist plot)
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Last edited by snipelfritz at Oct 24, 2014,
#35
Quote by stratkat
Hey anyone remember when the government paid a women to live with a dolphin, give it handjobs, and drop LSD with it to see if dolphins could learn to speak?

that can't be real
¯\_()_/¯
#36
Quote by CaptainCanti
that can't be real

You'd believe it if it was a squid not a dolphin.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#38
Quote by BladeSlinger
Coburn is not known for saving the taxpayer money so it's weird that he wrote this.
Not really. Republicans love wasting tax dollars as much as Democrats. That's why he picked pet projects that use an exceedingly tiny amount of the national budget. It's basically a do-nothing "fix" to appease the biases of his voter base.
#39
Quote by snipelfritz


Its all about the rhetoric, brohan.
Didn't the Walker budget reduce your shitty state's nearly $3 billion deficit by half? That's a rhetorical question.
#40
https://www.opensecrets.org/news/2014/10/election-to-cost-nearly-4-billion-crp-projects-topping-previous-midterms/
Current estimated expenditure for Presidential Election

http://www.drugsense.org/cms/wodclock---Up to date War on Drugs expenditure

https://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/war/mkultra/mkultra_timeline.php

MKultra ended in homicide

Scary links for scary stuff
Legato and fluidity in your playing is where it's at

DJENT!!
ಠ_ಠ
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