#1
Because I ate a liquorice allsort out of a bag that had an earwig crawling around in it.

I'm 113.24697% sure I now have ebolaids. If I'm not back in more than 24 hours you'll know I died.

Goodbye now.
#4
If the earwig was outside of the bag I wouldn't worry. Although if I read correctly, the earwig was inside the bag instead, now then I wouldn't worry.

I do like liqourice allsorts too, though I haven't eaten them for a long time.
#6
it would only be a problem if you put the liquorice in your ear but either way kill that little ****er for messing with your liquorice
#7
Quote by whoomit
Ah the rare Bassetts Earwig... Live on spogs if I remember correctly.



Where have you been dude? Haven't seen you post in agessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
#8
Well, ingested earwigs go dormant until they reach the rectum, at which point they latch onto the wall, and over a week, grow massive fangs which they use to burrow into your abdomen and begin the process of turning you into a giant earwig from the inside out.

You can prevent this if you can get a different man to ejaculate in your rectum every 30 minutes for the next 8-10 days.
#10
Quote by BruceWillisman
What you really need is a new amp.

What he really needs is to **** that furry and tell UG how it went before he dies.
#11
Nah, you just have herpatitis derp. It's not fatal, but you should contact your previous sexual partners.
#13
Quote by Fisheth24


Where have you been dude? Haven't seen you post in agessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

+1
#14
The Earwig sounds like the tastiest part from that bag of licorice.
#17
This is one of my worst fears. Chowing down on some chips or cereal straight from the box and then finding a bug in the bottom of it.


I once almost made chocolate milk with some powdered chocolate mix that had a bunch of dead gnats inside of it. They looked like little pieces of chocolate powder, then I realized what they were.
#18
Oh I just remembered, one time, when I worked in a bar/grill, I got a bag of croutons from the basement and was dumping it into the bucket in which we kept the croutons in the ******* and a dead mouse fell out. It was all rigor mortisy. Needless to say, I threw out the bucket and everything.

I had noticed a tiny hole in the corner of the bag but didn't think anything of it at first.
#25
Quote by Joshua Garcia
What. That's it? Earwig in the bag? Not even in the licorice?

Have yourself a read at this story, m8

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/man-treated-stomach-flu-after-biting-rats-head-while-eating-chili-golden-corral-video

EWW. EWW. EWW. EWW. EWW.




Quote by Griffo48
My mate bit into a KFC burger and a tumor exploded in his mouth once

fun fact: 90% of KFC contains dead weevils.
Last edited by Pastafarian96 at Oct 30, 2014,