Because I ate a liquorice allsort out of a bag that had an earwig crawling around in it.

I'm 113.24697% sure I now have ebolaids. If I'm not back in more than 24 hours you'll know I died.

Goodbye now.
If the earwig was outside of the bag I wouldn't worry. Although if I read correctly, the earwig was inside the bag instead, now then I wouldn't worry.

I do like liqourice allsorts too, though I haven't eaten them for a long time.
it would only be a problem if you put the liquorice in your ear but either way kill that little ****er for messing with your liquorice
Quote by whoomit
Ah the rare Bassetts Earwig... Live on spogs if I remember correctly.

Where have you been dude? Haven't seen you post in agessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Well, ingested earwigs go dormant until they reach the rectum, at which point they latch onto the wall, and over a week, grow massive fangs which they use to burrow into your abdomen and begin the process of turning you into a giant earwig from the inside out.

You can prevent this if you can get a different man to ejaculate in your rectum every 30 minutes for the next 8-10 days.
Quote by BruceWillisman
What you really need is a new amp.

What he really needs is to **** that furry and tell UG how it went before he dies.
Nah, you just have herpatitis derp. It's not fatal, but you should contact your previous sexual partners.
Quote by Fisheth24

Where have you been dude? Haven't seen you post in agessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

The Earwig sounds like the tastiest part from that bag of licorice.
This is one of my worst fears. Chowing down on some chips or cereal straight from the box and then finding a bug in the bottom of it.

I once almost made chocolate milk with some powdered chocolate mix that had a bunch of dead gnats inside of it. They looked like little pieces of chocolate powder, then I realized what they were.
Oh I just remembered, one time, when I worked in a bar/grill, I got a bag of croutons from the basement and was dumping it into the bucket in which we kept the croutons in the ******* and a dead mouse fell out. It was all rigor mortisy. Needless to say, I threw out the bucket and everything.

I had noticed a tiny hole in the corner of the bag but didn't think anything of it at first.
Quote by Joshua Garcia
What. That's it? Earwig in the bag? Not even in the licorice?

Have yourself a read at this story, m8



Quote by Griffo48
My mate bit into a KFC burger and a tumor exploded in his mouth once

fun fact: 90% of KFC contains dead weevils.
Last edited by Pastafarian96 at Oct 30, 2014,