#1
So I played an open mic night the other night and it went pretty badly. It's was my second time performing open mic and the first time went much better than second time...

I got really nervous and was playing sloppy, forgot words, singing out of tone, singing too far from the mic, pretty much everything wrong you could do.

Everyone was trying to be nice after, but I even I had to laugh and make fun of myself after playing so badly. I wont let this get in my way but use it as something to learn from.

If I did one thing right it was not making it awkward as I was very aware how badly I played and laughed it off.

Have you ever had any really bad attempts at giving it a go? Share your (hopefully true) stories!
#2
My voice can go from pretty good to shaky, which is probably why I haven't given public performance a go. I also have a stage-fright kind of thing, but it isn't that I'm intimidated by the people watching me, it's that I feel that I have to be perfect and focus way too much instead of letting things flow naturally that I end up making mistakes.
#3
I was playing the piano once and the page that I was on started falling off the piano, so I had to catch it while I was still playing. So I caught it with my left hand, while my right hand played both parts, and I kept going.

I guess that's more of a really awesome performance, but it's a cool story.
#4
My first ever time playing live was a city-wide battle of the bands back in high school. We were always pretty tight and spot on during our practices but when it was time to hit the stage we made a ton of mistakes. I don't think anyone noticed but I felt pretty bad about it.

Everything worked out in the end though 'cause we got better at performing live and won our high school's battle of the bands during our senior year.
#5
I have itchy fingers syndrome so I often mess about and accentuate what I'm playing, so I make a lot of mistakes at jam nights
#7
Quote by Baby Joel
I was playing the piano once and the page that I was on started falling off the piano, so I had to catch it while I was still playing. So I caught it with my left hand, while my right hand played both parts, and I kept going.

I guess that's more of a really awesome performance, but it's a cool story.



ooooh. Such cool. So clutch. Have my babies.
#8
Oh yeah I definitely have. Basically just get drunk and be more prepared next time.
#9
I got really high once before a show and forgot how to play a bunch of parts. never again
#12
i was playing in my first gig, drummer said he needed to see me do the cues for tempo, time signature or fills. By cues i mean he needed me to look at him and lip tell him to change.
#13
Quote by Baby Joel
I was playing the piano once and the page that I was on started falling off the piano, so I had to catch it while I was still playing. So I caught it with my left hand, while my right hand played both parts, and I kept going.

I guess that's more of a really awesome performance, but it's a cool story.

You have just become one of my piano heroes, I'm serious.
#16
My second time playing at an open mic consisted of me and my bassist friend and the drummer of the main band. We went up on stage and improvised really badly over a blues in A. Neither of us sing, so we just noodled around for a minute or two. I didn't want to do it because I knew I wouldn't be any good, but my friend really wanted to play so I gave in. We were 16 or 17 but looked younger, so everyone gave us compliments because we were the cute kids that got up on stage so it was ok to suck. It was a locals only night at the bar so my parents knew everyone and they all came over to talk. An older woman with blonde hair asked how I thought I did. I made it clear I knew how bad I was. She brushed it off and then went on talking to everyone else. Later on when I was watching the main band perform I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and saw the two attractive blond girls I had noticed earlier. (I took note because they were the only young ladies my age in the bar) One of them bent down and whispered that she thought I had been really good and enjoyed my performance. Then she left the bar. I felt pretty good about that. I started thinking maybe I wasn't as bad as I thought.

But then, later that night, as I was laying in bed, I realized that the blond girl was probably the daughter of the older woman. She probably told her daughter to tell me that. It was a conspiracy. Her daughter wasn't really impressed by my panty-wetting performance or my good looks, it was just a pity compliment. My performance was just as bad as I had thought.

The end. (To a long and pointless story)
#17
Didn't disarmgoliath have a show where he had diarrhea, and made a wall of text describing it?
#19
Quote by DisarmGoliath

Warning: Imminent Wall-of-text!


I can't necessarily recall the worst public toilet I've ever seen, but the worst I've ever used (bearing in mind I almost always avoid using anything but urinals in public toilets, and this isn't against the pub, great place in general) was at Bannerman's in Edinburgh. It was the 4th night of our tour last December; due to travelling a lot I'd only eaten service station food and Subway subs for the previous few days, and think I had jalapenos or other spicy stuff at least three meals in 48hrs... and basically I had the shits.

Not just a bad stomach - the full-blown, backdoor curry, inverted volcano, destroying-the-one-ring laval explosion... shits.

As we set up for soundcheck, all was eerily content - some call it the calm before the storm, I believe - I was a little hungry, but otherwise felt in reasonably good health. The place was a bit quiet, but that can be expected for a Sunday night in December. Soundcheck was reasonably successful, and aside from explaining to someone from another band about which speaker input to use on my cab for his head, I was able to leave shortly after and forage for whatever nutritious morsels Edinburgh could offer (for those foreigners amongst you - in the UK, not much is open other than pubs on a Sunday night, as we have a wonderful [read: shit] law limiting shops to six hours of opening on a Sunday, which leads to post-apocalyptic desertion in most city centres after 4 o'clock).

Alas, all we could find was a Subway (again *sigh*) so my bowels were in for another serving of fiery stomach-churning jalapenos. Of course, a sensible-neigh-normal person would probably have opted to leave them out on this occasion but no - we were men of metal and rock and stupidity so we bravely decided to risk the rougher road of potential rectal trauma.

After eating the aforementioned 'food', we returned to the venue for the night and watched the opening local-ish support band. Pretty awesome, and nice guys too ('Dirty Rose', for anyone feigning interest at this point). It was about the time they announced their last song that I first experienced that painfully-familiar churning of the abdomen that usually signals an appointment with the porcelain throne, but no - not today; this was music time. Instead of frying the toilet lining, I must first fry faces with my guitar and such.

On came our intro cd, and before I knew it I was playing the intro to the opening track... to a room of bewildered and (hopefully) intrigued scots. The first song went well, and the second one too... third flew by like a breeze (poor drummer, he caught that one in the face as I bent forward to headbang) and the fourth was when the crowd started to try and sing along to the choruses, despite not knowing any of the words and being unsure of the arrangements. As we continued, there were more expulsions of noxious gas casually aimed away from the audience - now you know why drummers pull such stange faces, eh - and we were feeling awesome.

And then it struck - that moment you are all aware of, yet hope it will never happen to you again - yes, that moment where you go to break wind and come so close to shitting yourself that you can barely stop yourself dropping to your knees and pleading to any observant deity that you will never try to break wind again if they keep your insides inside you. (I can confirm that on later inspection I hadn't touched cloth, although I am fairly certain a giant turtle popped his head out for a breath of air).

From this point on, the gig was a bit of a haze to me (possibly the toxic fumes, who knows - I'm no scientist) and I was extremely glad when we hit the last note and turned around to turn off the amps. Now here's where it would have been great if we were a big band, with roadies and stage crew, or were headlining the tour (ex-Iron Maiden's Blaze Bayley had that particular pleasure) - when a reasonably established band leaves the stage, excluding set-ups for a staged encore everyone knows is happening, there is a whirlwind of activity as their road crew pack away all the gear in next to no time, leaving space for the headline band and their equipment to be mic'd up.

This didn't happen - as is the case for (probably) 99% of us on here, we had to pack our own gear down ASAP to allow for a speedy changeover.

So, whilst clinging (metaphorically) to the thought that I could manage and keep my underwear clean for the next 15mins before I would reach the sanctity of a toilet, I packed away my gear faster than I ever had before. I even cursed myself for having brought a back-up guitar out of its case ("Why couldn't you just risk leaving it in the minibus tonight?!") and before I knew it I was finally within the disgusting-but-comforting confines of a small 4'x3'x6' cubicle and dropping anchor in poo harbour.

I cannot describe the sudden urge of relief I felt at this moment, but I can assure you that if that is what anal sex feels like I can kinda see half of the appeal some men have to practising rear penetration (I jest, I think). After a few moments to compose myself, I stood up to admire my craftsmanshit and realised that I had barely made an impact on what was essentially the world's filthiest toilet since Ug discovered his sense of smell back in 10,000 BC. This cubicle was, quite literally, a shithole and I could only thank my own foresight for blanketing the toilet seat with toilet paper before resting my tired buttocks down. The toilet paper buffer I placed in the 'dropzone' acted as a nice guard against splashback, and I have to say I survived the incident relatively unscathed, but from now on I know one more important lesson in life...

White men shouldn't eat spicy food too many times in quick succession, if they aren't within rearshot of a well-maintained toilet.


Sorry for anyone who actually bothered to read all that

Found it.
#23
Quote by Baby Joel
I was playing the piano once and the page that I was on started falling off the piano, so I had to catch it while I was still playing. So I caught it with my left hand, while my right hand played both parts, and I kept going.

I guess that's more of a really awesome performance, but it's a cool story.

Would you say that catching stuff while playing piano is your forte?

Perhaps even your pianoforte?

Get it?

Pianoforte?

Hah!
#24
*Poo Story*



I haven't been to a jam night in ages!! Maybe soon, will post my story on here if it's worth talking about.
#25
This girl I liked came to one of my first band`s shows. I was young and dumb and had been using a battery in my distortion pedal instead of a direct power source.
Anyway, during a cover the chorus came and I stepped on my distortion pedal for some chunky power chords only to have it croak about 1 second in. Stupid mistake, never happened again.
#26
Quote by Duaneclapdrix


The end. (To a long and pointless story)


I enjoyed this, it seemed similar to the reaction I got. People were giving me lots of pity compliments and making it seem like I was good or something, I couldn't take them seriously.

Quote by badfish_lewis
This girl I liked came to one of my first band`s shows. I was young and dumb and had been using a battery in my distortion pedal instead of a direct power source.


Ouch, I was thinking about asking a girl I like if she wanted to come see me play that night also. The first night I performed I brought a few friends to see me and luckily I did pretty damn well for first try. So I was perhaps a little too confident second time round, until I got up there.

Really ****ing happy she didn't see that trainwreck, would have been awkward for both of us forever otherwise.
#27
I was once severely under-prepared for an open mic night, so I decided to boost my confidence with 1 or 9 shots of tequila. Forgot the words on stage; messed up the chords; then ended up walking off halfway through the song.

Awkward doesn't even begin to cover it.