Totally new to not only guitar but learning an instrument in general.

I've always loved music, almost all genres, but always rock. Preferably the heavier side of it. Anyways, about me;

I work offshore, I'm a grown man. I've always played sport when growing up so I never tried to play any instruments. But now since I do work offshore I cannot play sport, because of the schedule. 4 weeks on, 2 off. So, I wanted to find something I can do by myself. Enter electric guitar.

I've been trying to learn chords, scales, and a few other things. But I'm having a pretty tough time. Due to my schedule lessons are kind of impossible, which blows. Because I need lessons, or at least someone to point me in the right direction. Enter ultimate-guitar.com

So what's up guys.
Hi and welcome!

For self-starters, there's no better place to go than http://www.justinguitar.com/ Takes you from very beginner through intermediate and advanced stuff. Great online resource, and you learn at your own pace. And it's free (Justin does accept donations, but they're not compulsory.)

Have fun and welcome to UG!
Thanks. I have checked out a lot of his videos, everyone seems to recommend him.

I think my biggest obstacle is plain ol' patience.
Patience and having realistic expectations go hand-in-hand. For example, I don't honestly expect (or really desire) to be the next Steve Vai or Eddie Van Halen. I just want to noodle around, play some riffs, maybe pluck out a few songs at camp or jam with a few buddies over beers. To that end, I have all the patience in the world, because even small progress is still progress. Because of arthritic hands, I know I will never be able to shred 16 notes a second, so that's not even on my list. Keep your goals modest at first, and then see where it takes you!