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#1
A lot of people often say to those without self-esteem or self confidence struggling to do stuff like make friends, enter a relationship or get a job: "oh just fake being confident".

Can you actually do that? Can a natural introvert fake being confident?

confidence: noun
1.full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing:
We have every confidence in their ability to succeed.
2. belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance:
His lack of confidence defeated him.
3. certitude; assurance:
He described the situation with such confidence that the audience believed him completely.


I'm not so sure. I don't really lack in confidence at all so this isn't a problem for me, but is this even a helpful thing to say? Confidence is a belief in yourself so I don't get how you can fake a belief in yourself, something like that would require some sort of confidence to actually go through with...sort of like a self-fufilling prophecy?
#5
Quote by EndTheRapture51
Confidence is a belief in yourself so I don't get how you can fake a belief in yourself, something like that would require some sort of confidence to actually go through with...sort of like a self-fufilling prophecy?
I don't need confidence to know how to fake confidence. I just need to pull out the right card.

#heartofthecards
#7
Yes you can fake it


you might not feel confident


but just pretend and ACT like your confident


the way i see it, it will eventually turn into real confidence


thats how i do it
#8
yes but being an introvert doesnt mean you have to lack confidence. just be confident in who you are.
#10
Quote by Godsmack_IV
yes but being an introvert doesnt mean you have to lack confidence. just be confident in who you are.

i am confidently neurotic #get@
#11
It's not so much pretending you do have the confidence as much as it is ignoring the fact that you don't have the confidence.

Faking confidence is basically just saying 'ah **** it', which is something I've become quite good at over the years. I'd say I'm a shy person, but I'm just constantly fingering myself giving myself the finger, so I don't really come across as shy to most people.

Edited for lame joke.
Last edited by ultimate-slash at Oct 31, 2014,
#12
I used to be not very confident then decided oh well I have to get confident some day and became confident but I wouldn't say I "faked" confidence. I just decided to stop caring about if I came across weird. I think. It was a while ago.
#17
Quote by ultimate-slash
I think alcohol is more for faking a sense of logic and self control.

isnt that all confidence is, really?
#18
Extroversion isn't confidence and introversion isn't a lack of it. Confidence is really just how much you're accepting of yourself rather than in love. Tho very easily confused.

Thing is, worry about others and stuff. People are cool and generally it's more fun to think about them than your self or ego
#19
So what's the kind of thing when you have a problem doing stuff like say...going up and ordering a drink at a bar, or asking for help to a stranger or a shop assistant or something?

If someone was having trouble doing simple stuff like that I dunno, I feel like telling them to "act confident" to get those tasks done would be very patronising, because the very act of going up and talking to a stranger requires a big boost of confidence.
#21
^ What you're describing sounds like a bit of social anxiety. I used to be like that, but then I had a good friend who would essentially go with me to shops and stuff, and kind of force me to ask strangers for help or something....kinda like immersion therapy

On the outside you can do things to look confident....two things that I've found effective are:

1) Stand up straight, if you slouch around (like most people in our age bracket) then no one will think you're confident
2) Wear clothes that YOU feel good in...for example, a good suit or a nice shirt.
Last edited by i_lovemetallica at Oct 31, 2014,
#22
I think if you fool yourself into being confident long enough, you kind of just become that way.

That's what I did anyway. This is all just a facade.
#23
Quote by eGraham
I think if you fool yourself into being confident long enough, you kind of just become that way.

That's what I did anyway. This is all just a facade.


I've often found people that fool themselves into being confident for too long without actually developing their confidence often become quick cocky and obnoxious....just my observation though
#25
What are you trying to say?

I'm clearly neither of those you fool

YOU'RE ALL FOOLS
#26
Posture is seriously so important even if you're a short arse needing a good posture and being strong and open will make your interact much better.
#27
Quote by Baby Joel
literally every interaction with someone

society is a disease

be above it
#32
Not really, I think it's pretty obvious by my face when I'm trying to make out I'm feeling more confident than I am. Either that or I'll just straight up say I feel uncomfortable/scared by a thing.
#35
Quote by EndTheRapture51
So what's the kind of thing when you have a problem doing stuff like say...going up and ordering a drink at a bar, or asking for help to a stranger or a shop assistant or something?

If someone was having trouble doing simple stuff like that I dunno, I feel like telling them to "act confident" to get those tasks done would be very patronising, because the very act of going up and talking to a stranger requires a big boost of confidence.

"Getting confident" takes time and requires a bunch of empathy. S'all bout dat trust, bein vulnerable and shit with family and friends and those you dislike to get comfortable being you. Telling someone to get confident likely just makes them feel more broken or smth. Criticism don't work too ggood


Ppl have all these like defenses and shit and generally I thinka lack of confidence is just conditioned fear. Like lots to do with yr environment little to do with you. Insecure parents with a buncha defenses ar the leading cause of awkward small talk across the globe. Fight the power and like support that friend and stuff. No pisstakin etc just good ol friendship and let em know it's cool and safe (&nice) to b urself
Last edited by ali.guitarkid7 at Oct 31, 2014,
#38
Yes you can fake confidence and IF you do it right it will eventually make you more confident for real. but if you just keep faking it with little regard for how you can improve yourself then obviously you will still stay unconfident on the inside. It's only patronizing if you think of it as an instant homogenous process.

I found that I enjoyed social interaction more when I faked being confident and it was also more positive so that gave me an incentive to keep doing it. However, I recently also just spent half an hour deciding whether or not to ask someone for help at a store when I could've spent that half hour doing it myself so obviously I am not there yet.
#39
Quote by ali.guitarkid7
"Getting confident" takes time and requires a bunch of empathy. S'all bout dat trust, bein vulnerable and shit with family and friends and those you dislike to get comfortable being you. Telling someone to get confident likely just makes them feel more broken or smth. Criticism don't work too ggood


Ppl have all these like defenses and shit and generally I thinka lack of confidence is just conditioned fear. Like lots to do with yr environment little to do with you. Insecure parents with a buncha defenses ar the leading cause of awkward small talk across the globe. Fight the power and like support that friend and stuff. No pisstakin etc just good ol friendship and let em know it's cool and safe (&nice) to b urself

thumbs

i sorta can't but some can and i think that's what it boils down to

although i can sometimes forget about confidence entirely in a way
#40
I have incredibly low confidence and am a massive introvert, yet the past few jobs I've had I've faked that stuff 100% and they've always believed they're hiring a super confident guy.


They can't exactly sack me for lacking confidence once I'm hired though...That's a reason that will surely end badly for them.
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