#1
I only write for myself,
now. I am still learning
how to be a better person;
how to enjoy the trivialities
of life. But all I can be
is another me: Unknown
and unperturbed; another
paradox of another
lifetime, being dremnt in
purgatory, notwithstanding
the unkempt minds.
#2
i feel this really picks up after "but all i can be". the opening lines are a bit too direct for my taste personally. it's something i've been thinking about lately, too: how to say those sorts of things without being so explicit; conveying that feeling without naming it. i haven't figured out how to do it yet.

that aside, the last 6-7 lines are quite nice and poignant. actually, they are an extension of what you are *naming* in the opening but are obfuscated tastefully. maybe the ending could be a little stronger..."the unkempt minds" isn't bad, but the strongest line in the piece is "another paradox of another lifetime", i think...if you could make the all proceeding lines as strong as that one, it'd be really amazing.

still, solid work. i enjoy reading it. thanks for posting.
#3
As a stylistic choice, "dremnt" was interesting given its close proximity to "unkempt". that, and the assonance of "unknown", "unperturbed", "another" and "unkempt" was nice to read.

Overall, I think this works as it is but I couldn't help but feel like I was left hanging by the end; it feels unfinished, unresolved. I absolutely loved the "But all I can be is another me" line in how stark and naked its laid out there, but I feel like after that line you drifted into cryptic waters and never brought me back to shore. Like I said above, what you did with the language made it fun to be floating out there, but I wish there was some more substance to bring it home, more lines like the "another me" line to punch me in the face.

Hope you keep writing, because I dig your poetry.