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#2
How about not being a childish prat and buy him something that isn't attached to a gay joke?
O.K.

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~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#4
I'm sure there will be plenty who will tell you about the social implications of what you plan to do, so I'll be the one to tell you how stupid and immature this is.

Get him a necktie.
#5
buy him something he could put to use.
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#9
first post=#fookinrektm8


In all seriousness you should get him a gift that shows how much you actually understand him as an individual, that has nothing to do with his sexual identity.





Be hot and scantily clad for him ala christmas themed, if you hit the gym now 2hrs a day up till the 25th your body could be less gross
Legato and fluidity in your playing is where it's at

DJENT!!
ಠ_ಠ
#10
Quote by mattgreen2205
Oh wow, some of you need to lighten up. I'm not doing something malicious. My team always get stupid presents for each other. We don't all want a new pair of socks...

And what makes you think that your co-worker wants a dildo or some other allusion to a gay joke? You've already said you're sure he's not gay, so that rules out that possibility.
#11
Quote by mattgreen2205
Oh wow, some of you need to lighten up. I'm not doing something malicious. My team always get stupid presents for each other. We don't all want a new pair of socks...

New socks are the shit, though. If you think new socks are a bad present, you've always worn awful socks, and that makes you a bad person.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#12
Quote by mattgreen2205
I've pulled the short straw for secret santa this year. The running gag is that my co-worker is homosexual (I'm sure he's not but the joke has gone on for so long now that it's widely accepted).

Get him a video of you pulling your short straw I guess.

The part quoted really confuses me (lol). So the joke is that he's gay (I don't get it), but you think he isn't (so the joke is that he's being called gay while he's straight?) but it's gone on so long that everyone (your co-worker included) accepts he is in fact gay?
#13
TS has homoerotic tendencies for his team mates, but he's a coward with minuscule genitals
Legato and fluidity in your playing is where it's at

DJENT!!
ಠ_ಠ
#14
Quote by Shredwizard445
TS has homoerotic tendencies for his team mates, but he's a coward with minuscule genitals

Ah, so in this case, what TS means by 'pulled the short straw' is that he had a wank, the joke being that his penis is both short and thin?
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#15
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Ah, so in this case, what TS means by 'pulled the short straw' is that he had a wank, the joke being that his penis is both short and thin?

Or that he just dips it in people's drinks.
#16
Quote by chrismendiola
And what makes you think that your co-worker wants a dildo or some other allusion to a gay joke? You've already said you're sure he's not gay, so that rules out that possibility.

because he thinks its funny? woaaaah dude
#17
Quote by mattgreen2205
Oh wow, some of you need to lighten up. I'm not doing something malicious. My team always get stupid presents for each other. We don't all want a new pair of socks...
Then I guess your whole team has kinda suck-dickish humor.
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#18
Quote by homeless-john
Or that he just dips it in people's drinks.

You can think of a different way to stir sugar into coffee?
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#19
I never said he wants a dildo. The actual gifts we buy are always garbage. Last year I was given a bottle of cheap, nasty vodka because I drink too much. The aim is to be cruel and make everyone laugh. Maybe I wasn't very clear with my intention.

Lol I give up with you guys, thanks anyway
Last edited by mattgreen2205 at Nov 24, 2014,
#20
Quote by ultimate-slash
Get him a video of you pulling your short straw I guess.

The part quoted really confuses me (lol). So the joke is that he's gay (I don't get it), but you think he isn't (so the joke is that he's being called gay while he's straight?) but it's gone on so long that everyone (your co-worker included) accepts he is in fact gay?

Quote by slapsymcdougal
Ah, so in this case, what TS means by 'pulled the short straw' is that he had a wank, the joke being that his penis is both short and thin?

I was expecting one of you to make this joke eventually, imagine my surprise when I see that both of you have.

The race for the Resident Pun Maker rages on.
#21
Quote by Joshua Garcia
Then I guess your whole team has kinda suck-dickish humor.

got a problem with that homophobe?
#22
Quote by mattgreen2205
I never said he wants a dildo. The actual gifts we buy are always garbage. Last year I was given a bottle of cheap, nasty vodka because I drink too much. The aim is to be cruel and make everyone laugh. Maybe I wasn't very clear with my intention.

Lol I give up with you guys, thanks anyway

You should get him something that's actually a nice gift but that is also the shape of a dick.
#24
Quote by chrismendiola
I was expecting one of you to make this joke eventually, imagine my surprise when I see that both of you have.

The race for the Resident Pun Maker rages on.

We're both drawn to the same source material (in this case dicks) for our jokes.
Also, within two minutes of each other, that's kinda impressive. First though.
#25
Quote by mattgreen2205
Well the only thing he has an interest in other than fashion is football.

A dick shaped football?

Buy a sheet of plywood, a belt and nail the ends of the belt to the plywood. Then cut a hole in the plywood, and you've made him his very own portable gloryhole.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#28
Quote by Thrashtastic15
give him your dick
First, he needs to rip it off.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#30
Quote by mattgreen2205
No removing of genitalia pls

If you remove it carefully, you could sew velcro onto your dick, and where your dick was, so it would be easy to have shared ownership of the ****.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#31
he likes fashion so you all joke that he's gay and want to send him a dildo for christmas

i'm sure any closeted homosexual in your office feels really welcome.
i don't know why i feel so dry
#32
Quote by slapsymcdougal
New socks are the shit, though. If you think new socks are a bad present, you've always worn awful socks, and that makes you a bad person.


This is a great post.

Get me a good pair of hiking socks, and I'd be happy. Like a clam.

Get this faux-gay guy some sick hiking socks
My God, it's full of stars!
#33
Quote by mattgreen2205
I've pulled the short straw for secret santa this year. The running gag is that my co-worker is homosexual (I'm sure he's not but the joke has gone on for so long now that it's widely accepted).

Anyway I need ideas! Budget is £10. Inb4 'buy him a rubber fist'.

Thanks dudes

this is the lamest thing in every sense
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#34
Quote by slapsymcdougal
Ah, so in this case, what TS means by 'pulled the short straw' is that he had a wank, the joke being that his penis is both short and thin?



Fookin rekt m8


Get him a penis pump TS, get one for yourself as well+cockrings. They are THE BEST THING EVER
Legato and fluidity in your playing is where it's at

DJENT!!
ಠ_ಠ
#36
Buy him a very nice and endearing gift that emboldens your connection together and reminds him of the trust you two share as professionals and friends.


Or make a "lol gay" joke.
#37
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
this is the lamest thing in every sense

Being so serious is also quite lame.

I have a genuinely gay friend and friends from all race/backgrounds and we are always making jokes about each other. Is this lame too? Maybe you should try developing a sense of humour. Not everyone wants to be PC all the time.
Last edited by mattgreen2205 at Nov 24, 2014,
#39
Quote by mattgreen2205
Being so serious is also quite lame.

I have a genuinely gay friend and friends from all race/backgrounds and we are always making jokes about each other. Is this lame too? Maybe you should try developing a sense of humour. Not everyone wants to be PC all the time.

hohoho
#40
I hope Santa puts coal in your stocking.

Side note: You missed the chance to use "Who put coal in your stocking?"
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