#1
share your most embarrassing moment.


So, a little story for ya: i was spending a few months in wisconsin with my cousin helping him move after he graduated college. now, i never spent much time with this guy and we werent particularly close so the whole thing was kinda awkward to start out with. On that first weekend we attended an art show in some fancy gallery hosted by my cousins art teacher.

i honestly didnt plan on going anywhere nice so i didnt pack any dress clothes and my cousin let me borrow a nice long sleeve shirt. like i said, this is summer so i wasnt too comfortable wearing the tight, long-sleeve, black cotton shirt but i figured what the hell? the gallery will have air conditioning and it will be alright.we get to the gallery and it is sweltering inside. im not sure if they didnt have A/C or if it was just all the body heat from the patrons. anyway i have never been to an art show so i figure what the hell? i will just moon around a bit and get out of here if it gets boring.

so i mill around for 20 minutes before i start getting bored. i start looking for my cousin to tell him im gonna go for a stroll and a smoke around downtown while he finishes this art crap up when the host tells everyone to gather around. so i find my cousin in the crowd and go stand by him. i figure what the hell? if this guy is going to start talking this should be over soon. there are a few fold out chairs but clearly not enough for everyone as they all gather around the host. a few people have seats but the majority, including me, are standing.

now understand, we alked 10 minutes to the gallery, i walked around for 20 minutes, and now im standing there sweating in a long cotton shirt with very tired feet and im feeling extremely awkward and uncomfortable. its here that i feel a faint tickle in my throat. the tickel turns to itching turns to burning and now im just sitting there and this is basically me:



in a crowded gallery. plus, everyone is being very respectfully quiet while the host talks about the art. now i start coughing and i mean really hacking. its one of those times where some saliva goes down the wrong tube and you just cant catch a breath. and im coughing and coughing and working up more of a sweat than i already have. after what must be 1-2 minutes of coughing so loudly i cant hear the speaker (and he keeps talking through it like a pro) i start to settle down. now i have nearly everyones attention and they can tell how awkward i feel just by looking at me. some guy even starts to clear his throat a bit in sympathy.

me and my cousin leave shortly after that and the first thing he says to me is

"well that was terrible"

although i suppose it could have been worse, it was the most embarrassed i have ever been.


what about you, Pit?


TL;DR
If you do something right, no one will know you've done anything at all

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#2
Basic training for the Royal Australian army.

we were about 3 weeks in. it was about 2030, on a weekend, so for recruit training, we were pretty relaxed. I had some personal questions to ask the duty corporal so I just sorta stepped out into the barracks hallway. I finished asking my questions, and I was told "1, you're not up against the wall, 2, you're not standing at attention, and 3, you have a general weirdness about you"

the rest of my platoon burst out laughing. I copped a bit of flak for it, but I suppose it could of been worse, we could of had to do a ton of re-training...

for those who don't know, the re-training at basic (good old kapooka, bless your soul)
is usually stupid **** around stuff they get you doing in stupid timeframes or you get worse punishments, so like getting into PT gear in 30 seconds flat, and when you don't, then changed into ceremonial dress so they all get creased in 2 minutes 30 seconds. mainly because they aren't allowed to hit recruits any more.....

TL;DR - joined the army, said stupid shit, got laughed at.
Quote by element4433
One time I watched a dog lick his own dick for twenty minutes.

Quote by Roc8995
No.


Well, technically it could be done, but only in the same way that you could change a cat into a hamburger. It's an unpleasant process, and nobody is happy with the result.
#3
there's a thin line between embarrassing and sad and I've crossed that line so much that idk what stories of mine are appropriate to put here
bawitaba a bang a bang diggy diggy diggy sed the boogie sed up jump the boogie
#4
Quote by RylanThePotato
there's a thin line between embarrassing and sad and I've crossed that line so much that idk what stories of mine are appropriate to put here

i get u let's chill ok
#5
I let oxygen get into the glovebox once and felt like a complete idiot because they had to regenerate the catalyst.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#6
I broke 4 beakers in a row. First two when I was taking them out of the oven, my gloves were too big and I couldn't get a good grip on them so they slid out and went crashing down to the floor. I went to get new ones and I squeezed one too hard and it broke, and it landed on another beaker which broke too.

No one really said anything about it but I felt so bad for wasting all that glassware.
cat
#7
Quote by guitarxo
I broke 4 beakers in a row. First two when I was taking them out of the oven, my gloves were too big and I couldn't get a good grip on them so they slid out and went crashing down to the floor. I went to get new ones and I squeezed one too hard and it broke, and it landed on another beaker which broke too.

No one really said anything about it but I felt so bad for wasting all that glassware.


I broke about 5 round bottom Schlenk flasks with my hands last year. Somehow manage to just pull the stopper bits and the gas tap bits off to the flask with my bare hands.

longing rusted furnace daybreak seventeen benign nine homecoming one freight car
#8
my life is one long embarrassing moment.
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#9
When I was younger I was talking about linguistics (I liked to read) and often inferred the meaning of words based on context. For some reason I thought "lustful" meant "eager to learn" or the like. So when I told my parents I was lustful for my age, it was a little embarrassing.

I now make sure to look things up.
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#11
i've told most of my embarrassing stories i think.

did i tell you guys the one where my dad caught me hiding under a chair trying to draw topless girls when i was 5?

i was getting all frustrated because the boobs weren't coming out the way i wanted and when my dad saw and asked me what was wrong, i told him i couldn't draw the picture right.

he said in an incredibly calm and pleasant tone "well, why don't you try drawing them with shirts on?"

there, i just told you.
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#12
Quote by EndTheRapture51
I broke about 5 round bottom Schlenk flasks with my hands last year. Somehow manage to just pull the stopper bits and the gas tap bits off to the flask with my bare hands.


Oh wow not surprising though. I think those things look like they might break if you stand a little too close to them.

Quote by Banjocal
When I was younger I was talking about linguistics (I liked to read) and often inferred the meaning of words based on context. For some reason I thought "lustful" meant "eager to learn" or the like. So when I told my parents I was lustful for my age, it was a little embarrassing.

I now make sure to look things up.


Well it can mean that, but it's not used in that context very often anymore. So you weren't as wrong as you thought though I can imagine that must've been embarrassing for sure
cat
#13
I farted really loud in class once
How do you make a signature? Is this a signature? Sig?.... Nature?..... Sigmund Freud?...... Nature Valley?.... Sigmund Fraud?..... Frankie Valli?.... ah, $!*@ it...
#14
One time during an exam, I was desperate to sneeze, but I didn't want to make any noise. I held my mouth over my hand very tightly and as I sneezed, which made this colossal fart noise.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
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Shindeiru



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Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#15
Mine was one day this past Spring; I was working for a lawn-care company, and since I'd missed my methadone dose that morning, I was sweating and getting chills, even though it was in the mid 50's that day. I was so cold I literally had to stop working. I explained what was going on, but I still felt like such a pussy. From then on I made sure to take my methadone every day more carefully.
I've got the spirit, but lose the feeling.
#16
Attempting(well, failing) to chat up a girl during a chemistry lab. Wasn't paying attention to what I was actually doing, and put my thumb through the bottom of a glass sample vial.

5 stitches, and didn't get any either.
Quote by Diemon Dave
Don't go ninjerin nobody don't need ninjerin'
#17
I have a lot of embarrassing moments in my life. I'm not trying to sound snobby, but most of them are my dad's fault. I try to go out to eat with him often, because when I was growing up he was never around. So we go to a restaurant and he had a coupon that gave us a free appetizer. To make a long story short, he tried to use the coupon, but the restaurant wouldn't take it. He sent the waiter back several times to check the coupon. This went on easily for 30+ minutes. When the waiter finally gave up and said that my dad can use the coupon, my dad said that he didn't even want an appetizer. Let's just say that I was PISSED at my dad.
"Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it'll always get you the right ones."
#18
When I was like 12 I got locked in the bathroom during church service. Oh and this "church" was just a stand alone, small building that was basically a big open room with a single bathroom at the back. So after like 20 minutes people started wondering where I was (I thought that knocking on the door from inside the bathroom would be even more embarrassing than getting locked in) and they ended up stopping everything to dismantle the door to get me out.
#19
Quote by Banjocal
When I was younger I was talking about linguistics (I liked to read) and often inferred the meaning of words based on context. For some reason I thought "lustful" meant "eager to learn" or the like. So when I told my parents I was lustful for my age, it was a little embarrassing.

I now make sure to look things up.


i can relate to this so fucking hard loool
#22
Quote by Banjocal
When I was younger I was talking about linguistics (I liked to read) and often inferred the meaning of words based on context. For some reason I thought "lustful" meant "eager to learn" or the like. So when I told my parents I was lustful for my age, it was a little embarrassing.

I now make sure to look things up.



Going along the lines of this, when I was young (can't think of the age) my cousins, parents, aunts, uncles...well everyone, were all at my grandmother's house. We were sitting at the dining table talking (my younger cousins and I separate from the adult conversation) and I don't remember how it came up but I all of a sudden blurted out " I had a "wet dream!"" at the top of my lungs. I was trying to get a rise out of my cousins, but the worst thing about it was I had no idea the sexual connotations behind it. At the time I had simply thought that it meant "I wet the bed" or "peed in the bed"

Needless to say the entire family was shocked and staring. My older cousin lost his shit completely for about 20 mins. I was forced to apologize to everyone after finding out what it meant and that wasn't the most pleasant experience either.
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#23
^
"Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it'll always get you the right ones."
#24
i know someone who told me a story about how the first time they jerked it, his mom found his dirty tissues in the bathroom and called the cops thinking there was some freak in the house.

the cops showed up to investigate and stuff and spent a good long time asking questions and looking around before he finally told them the truth.

not sure if any of that is true, but it was an entertaining story.
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