#2
First off I like the name for the song. Overall it does have a good hard rock sound. It doesnt sound like you have the guitars panned hard left and right. I think that would give you a bigger guitar sound. It is hard to really critique it without the vocals, but I can see its potential of being good once those are added. The kick drum sounds a little weak. Maybe add a lowband eq. I am not a fan of the synth at the end. I think a good rock solo would sound good there, unless you had a vocal idea that was going there. I think it would be cool if you found a sound byte from either Obams, the prosecutor, or someone significant from the story layed somewhere on the track.

C4C https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1662756
#3
Elvin,
Thank you for the review! Now your tune: the marching to the beat is a good idea. Sounds rather cool so far, but some good vocals would help a lot. Is that a real Polymoog, or a computer emulation, or a sample synth? I don't recall ever seeing one in the flesh, and I have owned synths since 1981. I like some of the Polymoog playing, other parts I'd experiment with the timing, but maybe you don't own a sequencer to drive it? That patch reminds me of Gary Numan's "Cars", which I believe had a Polymoog doing the strings/pad (I read it was a factory preset, but I would imagine Numan added reverb). Nice guitar riffs/playing!
#4
It's the LUCEifer v2 plugin (vst) that was available free for a short time, apparently made from samples of a real Polymoog. And yeah, just about everything it does sounds like something Gary Numan did on The Pleasure Principle. Using a synth was an experiment and I'm still not sure if it fits the song or not. I am a complete newb to keyboards...but was hoping to use them to give it a little something extra and probably failed at it.

I am working on vocals, but I sing about as good as I play keyboards so, if I do it myself, it may just make it worse. Speaking of me singing, and Gary Numan, here's a Numan cover of Are Friends Electric I did a year or two ago with a bunch of VST synths just for kicks. that was my first and only attempt at vocals so far:

https://soundcloud.com/chill-sc/are-friends-electric
Last edited by Elvin Presler at Nov 30, 2014,
#5
Elvin,
Instrumentally, sounds pretty darn close to the original! No one else sounds like Gary Numan, with his robotic/humanoid vocals that were perfect for his early hits. I don't think his vocals work on his new music. Yeah, I think your speaking vocals are better overall.
#6
Thanks for the crit.

This track starts great with the marching and beat coming in. Guitars are tight and it sounds like it could be a steady kinda protest/commentary song like Neil Young's Rocking In The Free World.
Hopefully the lyrics and vocals come out good when you get round to it.
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#7
@Elvin Presler: Dude, I don't understand what you meant by not having a good mix in my thread, the mix is excellent on this track. I could hear everything clearly (at least I think I can). Are you by any chance inspired by Queensryche? This really reminds me of their good old days. I'll get to the constructive stuff right away:

- I was surprised that you didn't include a solo, I feel like the piece would really benefit if you included one.
- The drum kit was pretty static with the beats, I noticed none or very "safe" fills. I think it needs to be a little bit more technical or "showy" IMO.
- You recycled a lot of riffs, you could have easily done a modal modulation on nearly all of them very easily and it would have really brought out the piece (along with some ever-evolving percussion).

So the above sounds harsh, but I think if you could spend a bit of time working on those then you would easily be up with the best in your genre. Hope that helps.
#8
Quote by HaydenHohns
So the above sounds harsh, but I think if you could spend a bit of time working on those then you would easily be up with the best in your genre. Hope that helps.


I never got into Queensryche but I sure wish I could sing like Geoff Tate is it? It doesn't sound harsh at all. Thanks for the input (all). There is a short solo near then end (@4:00 mark), but I am just not much of a shredder. I'm not a drummer either, but I agree with all you said about that. I may work on it some more, but I didn't want it to get too "busy" and wanted to maintain the "marching beat" feel. I also did not want to cheat use any of the pre-made beats or fills in Addictive Drums. I do need some better fills though for sure. Most of the repetitive riffs will have vocals over them...if I can ever get that done.
Last edited by Elvin Presler at Dec 20, 2014,