Tried to go for a simpler structure, melodic and riffy at places. Bass inst complete and some of the drum beats are just place holders, its still a wip. tell me what ya think!
Further v1.gp5
"My life to to the leaves
My spirit will be freed
Ill chase you through the universe
Ill chase you through eternity"
Yeah, sounds really upbeat. I like it.

I had a problem with the way you had written the rhythm. The first chord of the verse should be on the last 8th of the previous bar, not on the first beat of the bar. It has a syncopated rhythm. The way you have written it makes it look like it's not syncopated at all. Notice how the drums accent the offbeats. But yeah, it was just a writing issue. The song itself sounded great - it just looked bad.
Quote by AlanHB
Just remember that there are no boring scales, just boring players.


Bach Stradivarius 37G
Charvel So Cal
Fender Dimension Bass
Hartke HyDrive 210c
Ibanez BL70
Laney VC30
Tokai TB48
Yamaha FG720S-12
Yamaha P115
This sounds really good. Up to the first chorus sounds great. In the chorus it has a good lead, but I don't like how it repeats the slidey 12-8 on the high string for the first 3 repetitions. I would rework it a bit so the 1st and 3rd repetitions were the same but the second one hit a couple higher notes there and maybe in the other measures of the repetition. I love the subtle chord change in the rhythm of the chorus though. The transition from the chorus to the bridge is buttery smooth, and the solo sounds really good. I dig the outro solo too. I don't think anything guitarwise besides the chorus bit needs to be changed. This song is built for vocals and it'd be cool to hear a vocal line inserted. I'm imagining Anthony Greene's voice but there's definitely others that would sound good. The bass guitar sounds great where you have it. It could maybe stand to be a little more technical but it fits well as it is. Maybe in the chorus at the end of each measure it could have a little embellishment.

crit mine?
Last edited by From Your Grave at Nov 30, 2014,