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#1
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/a-long-list-of-sex-acts-just-got-banned-in-uk-porn-9897174.html

Apparently a few types of porn has been banned in the UK.

Spanking

Caning

Aggressive whipping

Penetration by any object "associated with violence"

Physical or verbal abuse (regardless of if consensual)

Urolagnia (known as "water sports")

Female ejaculation

Strangulation

Facesitting

Fisting

The final three listed fall under acts the BBFC views as potentially "life-endangering".


Female ejaculation... really? Did this really happen? Also, I thought UK was all very mature and shit since I think they allow boobies on T.V.? What happened?

Edit: Also... wtf is wrong with spanking?!
#2
lol
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#3
They are banned from being produced in the UK, I can still watch them all I want.

Tbh, I didn't even know we had a porn industry.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#5
No one watches British porn tho so it's not really a big deal
Quote by ErikLensherr
Did you hear about the cockney Godfather?

He made them an offer they couldn't understand.
#6
Only in Ameri-wait...
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 50-54
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 0-0
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 0-0
#7
Quote by VillainousLatin
Right, but why?


God knows but British porn is shit anyway. Who wants to listen to a cockney saying "giv us it 'arder codger" whilst getting rammed from behind.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#8
srsly, why female ejaculation
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#10
lol, British porn. The girls I've had from there were super good sexers though, better than Americans or Canadians...like most European girls I suppose.
#11
Quote by Trowzaa
Tbh, I didn't even know we had a porn industry.

If there was one these rules have killed it.
#12
Quote by BladeSlinger
srsly, why female ejaculation


because women aren't anatomically allowed to enjoy sex, don't you know that women who enjoy sex are just whores and aren't fit for motherhood????????????????????
bawitaba a bang a bang diggy diggy diggy sed the boogie sed up jump the boogie
#14
Quote by VillainousLatin
Right, but why?

basically right the british government are a bunch of wankers but they don't want to be seen as such so they ban porn
#15
To be fair, I think porn has gone way past what it should be. I'd like everyone to go back to softcore please.
#17
Maybe face-sitting is "life-endangering" when Trowzaa's mum does it but the rest of these are silly.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#18
If you really want to know the reason why they don't allow female ejaculation, then here it is:

It's because it's already wet enough over there as it is!

HEY NOW!!!

--------------╯╰--------------
A SIGNATURE.
--------------╮╭--------------
#19
Quote by Tempoe
To be fair, I think porn has gone way past what it should be. I'd like everyone to go back to softcore please.


Amateur cam stuff is where it's at. **** this HD shite where I can see the reflection of heartbroken parents in every drip of sweat on the woman's forehead.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#20
Quote by Tempoe
To be fair, I think porn has gone way past what it should be. I'd like everyone to go back to softcore please.

I would generally agree but I don't see how banning those things will help. People will just make it in their homes instead.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#21
this is why I moved back to the states. Now I can freely participate in all of these activities like I've planned to for so long :')
superman is killing himself tonight
#22
Sometimes I watch the banned genres for fun and not any gratification because it's so ridiculous and borders on hilarious. Simulated incest is probably the funniest of 'em all.
Free Ali
#23
Quote by chrismendiola
Sometimes I watch the banned genres for fun and not any gratification because it's so ridiculous and borders on hilarious. Simulated incest is probably the funniest of 'em all.

for fun? that is still messed up bro
#24
Quote by Pastafarian96
for fun? that is still messed up bro

I might have given off the idea that I'll suddenly have the urge to watch porn for shits and giggles, I'll be in the mood to watch for porn's intended purposes and then get sidetracked, naw mean?
Free Ali
#25
I've watched porn for humor before
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#28
Quote by chrismendiola
Sometimes I watch the banned genres for fun and not any gratification because it's so ridiculous and borders on hilarious. Simulated incest is probably the funniest of 'em all.


click on the "other" category next time

last time I clicked on other it was this video of this African American midget riding a tricycle in the middle of nowhere and he got hit by a white girl in a range rover, then he woke up with a cast on and laying on the white girl's couch and said "what thefuck? You're the white bitch that hit me!" and then she said "I'm so sorry little man! i really didn't see you there, I don't know if my insurance will cover the costs of this, is there anything I can do for you to not take this to trial?" and he said "Yeah bitch, if you suck my dick bitch!!!" and she said "Noooooo, you're an evil, EVIL! Little man!" and you can probably guess what happened next
bawitaba a bang a bang diggy diggy diggy sed the boogie sed up jump the boogie
#31
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
What the hell is wrong with those fucking UK lawmakers?


ok gun land
Quote by ErikLensherr
Did you hear about the cockney Godfather?

He made them an offer they couldn't understand.
#32
Quote by steve_muse
ok gun land

Hey, look at this limey! He thinks Americans are all about guns.


But seriously...why did they need to restrict most of these?
#33
Quote by RylanThePotato
click on the "other" category next time

last time I clicked on other it was this video of this African American midget riding a tricycle in the middle of nowhere and he got hit by a white girl in a range rover, then he woke up with a cast on and laying on the white girl's couch and said "what thefuck? You're the white bitch that hit me!" and then she said "I'm so sorry little man! i really didn't see you there, I don't know if my insurance will cover the costs of this, is there anything I can do for you to not take this to trial?" and he said "Yeah bitch, if you suck my dick bitch!!!" and she said "Noooooo, you're an evil, EVIL! Little man!" and you can probably guess what happened next

I don't know what "other" means, because I only visit one site and there are hundreds of categories, some get really specific (amputee, machine ****ing).

Some of the most memorable ones were
- This Japanese one where the guy has a watch that stops time. So he uses it whilst on a bus and starts doing ridiculous shit so this one girl does a split with a leg on each seat, and he ****s them with their faces completely still. It's great because you hear all of the background noise because they filmed it in public so there's a bus just stopped in traffic with a porno being filmed in it.

And if we're honest, that's tame for the Japanese, but it was hilarious.
- This cuckolding one where a guy walks in on his wife (this one I stumbled upon by accident, because I was browsing the works of the actress) and the wife continues banging this guy and taunts her husband and he sits and watches and insults him, and the guy is hopeless but watches and complains the whole time.
- Most simulated incest, almost all of them remind the viewer that it's an incest film so the woman will mention something about how she's banging her son or something and the dialogue is hilarious.
Free Ali
#34
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Hey, look at this limey! He thinks Americans are all about guns.


But seriously...why did they need to restrict most of these?


So I've just looked up the origins of "limey".

The term is thought to have originated in the 1850s as "lime-juicer",[3] and was later shortened to "limey".[4] It was originally used as a derogatory word for sailors in the Royal Navy, because of the Royal Navy's practice since the beginning of the 19th century of adding lemon juice or lime juice to the sailors' daily ration of watered-down rum (known as grog), in order to make stored, stagnant, water more palatable. Doctors thought that lime juice would work better because it has more acid than lemon juice, so they substituted lime juice for lemon juice on the English Royal Navy ships. This ration of grog helped make these sailors some of the healthiest at the time due to the ascorbic acid's ability to prevent scurvy.


So it was a derogatory term because our sailors were healthier than the american sailors? Okay seppos, okay.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#35
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
What the hell is wrong with those fucking UK lawmakers?

Calm down buddy. Go paw one off.
Quote by jakesmellspoo
ooh look at me i'm ERIKLENSHERR and i work at fancy pants desk jobs and wear ties and ply barely legal girls with weed and booze i'm such a classy motherfucker.
#36
Quote by Trowzaa
So I've just looked up the origins of "limey".


So it was a derogatory term because our sailors were healthier than the american sailors? Okay seppos, okay.

Not only that, I'm fairly sure it's a term that refers to the English, and not Scots.
Free Ali
#37
Quote by RylanThePotato
and you can probably guess what happened next


He fixes the cable
#39
Quote by chrismendiola
- This Japanese one where the guy has a watch that stops time. So he uses it whilst on a bus and starts doing ridiculous shit so this one girl does a split with a leg on each seat, and he ****s them with their faces completely still. It's great because you hear all of the background noise because they filmed it in public so there's a bus just stopped in traffic with a porno being filmed in it.


that reminded me of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnXRTr_eabQ
bawitaba a bang a bang diggy diggy diggy sed the boogie sed up jump the boogie
#40
Quote by RylanThePotato

I'm thinking about posting something but it might be against the rules and I don't want to expose people to images of something they don't want to see. It's tame enough to be posted multiple times on YouTube, I don't know if you've ever seen something involving a tennis racket and some sort of living entity attached to a girl's armpit and a doctor or something.
Free Ali
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