#1
If this is what you call love

then fare forward

to the place where I begged you not to go;

let’s do what you fear the most.

Know that I was always there

beside you.

I did this for your own good;

I know that you have no concept

of morals. You are all

that I have; and, only now,

do I know what it’s like

to lose all sense

of self-control.

Forever mutating, the inevitable;

the writing on the wall, never aging;

once upon a time, I loved you.

We remain like night and day,

cut from untold fabrics; symmetry broken.

Be free, for once in your life,

of vulnerability

and impediment.

Your demise remains eminent

but love is groundless; lay quiet.
#2
Would be nice to know a chord progression that this follows, and the timing, to get a better picture.
#4
this has its moments but i feel it needs some marinating time. maybe that would be enough - leave it for a month and come back and see what you think. i find this helps me a lot. i guess the reason for marinating is that right now it feels like it's leaning on certain cliches to usher the piece along - more than a couple of the phrases appear, to me, to be this way. this isn't bad, but like i said, in time, you might come back and have a different way to say it that is more unique to your own voice. the line "cut from untold fabrics; symmetry broken" feels especially strong in terms of voice.

still, i appreciate what's your getting at. there's a strong sense of defeat in this, the inevitability of parting. it's not something easy to deal with. it worries me a lot, really (not that that is related to the piece).

also, the ending lines were strong. i liked them a lot. the "lay quiet" was subtle. thanks for posting. hope things are well.