#1
The story of 'duckman.'

He was a lunatic that lived down the street from us and used to sleep on the back of a ute (pickup truck) with his many ducks. He would yell at anyone who came past, threaten them with a chainsaw, almost killed his father (who had Parkinson's) with his bare hands, slowly pulled his house apart board by board until you could see right through it and was eventually arrested for paedophilia (I think) and sent to a mental institution.

My childhood was spent in fear of that man

Has anyone got any good stories of nutcases in their local area?
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#4
We've got Larry the Lorry.

He just rides a bike around having a go at all the motorists and kids that get in his way. "If I were a lorry you'd be dead right now"

Well you're not Larry. You're just a dick.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#5
Quote by Trowzaa
We've got Larry the Lorry.

He just rides a bike around having a go at all the motorists and kids that get in his way. "If I were a lorry you'd be dead right now"

Well you're not Larry. You're just a dick.


Can you youtube Larry for us please?
#6
I live out in the woods, but in the nearest town there's an old black woman named Bella that's prone to wearing santa hats in July while walking around town and saying crazy shit. Once when I was at my friend's house she walked by, saw me, and started yelling, "THAT BOY LOOK LIKE JESUS!" like four times in a row. I had no idea how to respond and just kinda smiled at her and chuckled a little.


That's all I've got
#7
Well, let's see.....

The neighbors themselves... we'll, we aren't exactly neighborly. I don't think they have a problem with me, personally, but rather my parents. I think they think we're just a bunch of crazy, non-christian sinners. They have enough people living there to the point where they hold their own ceremonies. And they do it outside preaching out very loud and (literally) at 3am. All Mexican too, AND they have a little mini house behind their house that's pretty questionable, so I wouldn't doubt some of them are illeg...... eh........ I won't make any assumptions.

Also, one of their relatives drove their truck right through their fence in a fit of anger and drove off about a month ago.

They also had a son that was shooting a bebe gun at our dog. My dad went over and tried to talk to the dad, but he didn't care at all. The conversation ended something like:

Dad: "You just watch your son."
Neighbor: "Ok, we will. And you be sure to watch your's."

And I'm just sitting here, posting on UG lol.

Yeah I live next to some pretty ghetto neighbors.
That's just one neighbor though. The other one is aaight.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
Last edited by Joshua Garcia at Dec 7, 2014,
#8
Quote by Trowzaa
We've got Larry the Lorry.

He just rides a bike around having a go at all the motorists and kids that get in his way. "If I were a lorry you'd be dead right now"

Well you're not Larry. You're just a dick.


That's ****ing brilliant
#9
Our neighbours are lazy in the worst way

we found out their pets died because they didn't think to insulate the rabbit hutch and shed in the winter. Their kid said "oh, they're a little bit dead".

They leave their cars and garage unlocked, bikes outside which get damaged from weather exposure, and are surprised when someone steals something

they bought a dog and couldn't be bothered to train the poor thing and now it just barks all ****ing day

**** em
Quote by EndTheRapture51
who pays five hundred fucking dollars for a burger
#10
Quote by Banjocal
Our neighbours are lazy in the worst way

we found out their pets died because they didn't think to insulate the rabbit hutch and shed in the winter. Their kid said "oh, they're a little bit dead".

They leave their cars and garage unlocked, bikes outside which get damaged from weather exposure, and are surprised when someone steals something

they bought a dog and couldn't be bothered to train the poor thing and now it just barks all ****ing day

**** em

Actually that reminds me of another lot of weirdoes.

At the pub yesterday afternoon we were talking about these people down the road who lived on a small property. They were both drug-****ed morons and dirt poor. They would spend all day taking ice and she would occasionally get work in one of the local pubs. They had several children, that they did care for admittedly, but not the hundreds of dogs and horses they had that they didn't provide food or water for. And when one of the animals died they couldn't even be arsed digging the hole themselves and got one of the locals to do it, who eventually got sick of doing it and told him to **** off. Recently they attempted to get solar paneling for their house, for his hydroponics system), only giving a false address and when the installation guy eventually found the house he refused to install the panels because of their intended use and the fact that he could see the recently dead animals.

My local area is amazing!
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#11
Got a major problem with this lunatic man next door, started about 3 or 4 years ago.

My dad put a fence up our wall that seperates their front yard from ours. And my neighbour flipped his shit because part of the fence was on a foot-long, inches wide stretch that he claimed was his land, even though it was actually our land.

So he started doing crazy stuff like: getting in to massive arguments, digging a hole under the fence and throwing a wheelie bin at my mum.
- At the same time, he had about 10 different cars that he was blocking the road with, because he was trying to do them up and sell them.

My parents took him to court and he got given a 3 year restraining order. It ran out recently so he kicked off about the fence again. He's doing strange things like parking cars on his garden, right up against the fence, bashing it with a window frame and putting a wheelie bin out 3 days early, right at the end of our garden. (he has several of each type of bin, he loves them)

And he's got about 10 cars again, but I think he's in trouble with the council about that because everyone down the road keeps complaining.

He used to be alright when I was little, he worked at K'nex and gave me loads of free stuff.
I have nothing important to say
#12
I have a 50+ year old Colombian lady living with her husband and her mentally handicapped son to one side. This woman looks like she had some plastic surgery done on her face but her body is that of a very fit 30 year old. Big tits. Big ass. Small waist.

When my family first moved here she called me over many times to look at her computer and show her how to send images via hotmail. She gave me her credentials for logging in like it was no big deal and then one afternoon I decided to log into one of her emails and found a shit load of nude pics (and saved them) she was sending to some dude she was cheating with.

Fap fap fap.
#13
My neighbors have two pit bulls that sit in their dog houses all day and never get any attention.

It poured down two days ago, soaking their straw, and I haven't seen the guy change it yet.

It's angering, considering they have another pit bull pup who lives in their house for the moment, but is probably destined to live the same life as the others. I go out and give them food sometimes and pet them, but it's not enough.
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#15
last year the SWAT came and busted up our neighbours to the right of us. They're in jail now. We have on idea who is living in the house now, but we're pretty sure they're still doing the same drug operation, cause different people come in and leave all the time, and we've seen them changing their plates before.
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#16
local butcher, confirmed badass and craycray person

- trapped health inspector inside his freezer for short amount of time
- annoyed at neighbor's dog, decided to chop its head off and leave it in a plastic bag hung on said neighbor's front door handle
- dispersed and chased group of neonazis throughout town with his two nutjob sons using various butcher equipment because the nazis thought it was a good idea to celebrate hitler's birthday publicly in front of some grocery store


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#17
Quote by JamSessionFreak
local butcher, confirmed badass and craycray person

- trapped health inspector inside his freezer for short amount of time

Ooo...kay...
- annoyed at neighbor's dog, decided to chop its head off and leave it in a plastic bag hung on said neighbor's front door handle

****wit pile of shit
- dispersed and chased group of neonazis throughout town with his two nutjob sons using various butcher equipment because the nazis thought it was a good idea to celebrate hitler's birthday publicly in front of some grocery store

Okay, yeah, I'd probably do that, probably not as extreme though
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#18
Quote by Pastafarian96
Okay, yeah, I'd probably do that, probably not as extreme though

m8 neonazis. skinheads.

you know, steeltoed boots, illegal firearms, knives, tendency to beat up and/or knife people to the brink of death. rings a bell? generally not the type of people you wanna fvck with unless you have an equal number of well trained badasses with you


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#19
Our dog kept shitting on our next door neighbours lawn so they got pretty mad one day and threw the shit at our windows and car. Some of the shit actually managed to get inside the car and it stunk of shit every time the heat was turned on.

Another neighbour was called hammerhead because he used to chase the wee kids playing knick knock on his door with a hammer.
Last edited by Duffman123 at Dec 7, 2014,
#20
Quote by JamSessionFreak
m8 neonazis. skinheads.

you know, steeltoed boots, illegal firearms, knives, tendency to beat up and/or knife people to the brink of death. rings a bell? generally not the type of people you wanna fvck with unless you have an equal number of well trained badasses with you

My answer to any group of dangerous people, swarm upon swarm of bogans.
A poem.
Quote by yoman297
no girl, movember isnt for you. shave your stache pls

I can out-bore you any day
#21
Only a clutch of Ethiopian taxi drivers that take up the entire block with taxis every other day. The actual owner of the house is a good enough dude I have no issue with. Just wish the other taxi drivers could actually drive. Haven't seen people struggle so badly to parallel park with a 50 ft gap as these dudes. You all have insane neighbours
#22
My current neighbors are pretty cool, nothing wrong with them. The whole apartment complex's kids are pretty hilarious though, they were playing outside the other day (they're like 3rd grade-ish) and one of them said "What you gonna do about it, bitch!?!" and the other said "You're mom is what I'm going to do about it... BITCH!" and I laughed my ass off at them for hours
bawitaba a bang a bang diggy diggy diggy sed the boogie sed up jump the boogie