#1
Ok, so I wrote this song without all of the rap and I loved it - very simple and pretty. Then I was listening to the radio and there were a few songs with rap and I thought it worked, so I was inspired to give it a go myself...
I have put all the rap verses in [] to separate it. I would like to hope the theme of the song is quite self explanatory. I have recorded it to with a link at the bottom.
Please let me know if I should stick to writing ballads or how I could improve if I attempted it again. I do really like the second block of rap lyrics, I feel like it flows nicely.

And of course, crit 4 crit so please link to your songs too if you would like me to take a look!

"Circles"

I'm scared, of the space
That I know we both need
We're walking in circles
But I don't want to find the way

[Hold up, the thoughts in my head and the words that you said,
Swirling, circling, somewhere in the black, got me losing track,
Go away, come back, cos you know that I'll always take you back,
Say that you're broken, say that you're broken,
Look around cos the beast is awoken, heard what you've spoken,
What's on your mind, this time, are you changing your mind, this time,
Let's be real, will I even mind this time?
Figured out what you want,
What you can't, but you can, no you can't live without?
All those times that you locked me out,
Time after time that you loved me out,
Turn around cos you've been here before,
You've been slamming that door then begging on the floor, hold up]

I'm scared, that you won't
[Why wouldn't I, tell me why wouldn't I?]
Come around here anymore
[Haha, why wouldn't I, tell me why wouldn't I?]
We're walking in circles
[Dragging our feet, you mean]
Terrified you'll find your way

[Love and desire, it set us on fire,
We're stars burning brighter, it's taking us higher,
Say that you're scared now, say that you're scared now,
Yet I don't even know how I feel now,
Now you want the low down?
Well I can't keep up even when you slow down,
We can spiral all day, we can spiral all night,
Now tell me, what didn't I say that made you want to fight?
Turn around cos you've been here before,
You've been walking in a circle once more]


If you would like to hear it, please check it out on SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/the-circus-room/circles-extended-rap-version
Feel free to give feedback on the other songs there too.

EDITTED - just changed the link to listen to it
Last edited by Stringz87 at Dec 27, 2014,