Musically I think what you have going here is very cool. It's aggressive, it's heavy, and it's got that beefy wall of sound that a lot of musicians would kill for. However, I think from a production standpoint it's too loud. It sounds like you're not really leaving any headroom in your mix, and as a result the instruments all kind of muddle together into a mass of very loud noise. It also sounds like you might need to dial the mids back a little around 800Hz and 1500Hz to round off some of the harsh edges. As far as the music is concerned, you're there. It's a freakin badass song. Just clean up the production a little bit and you're good to go.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1665908