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#1
I'm thinking of shaving my ass because the hair ends up getting pulled and it hurts like hell. Also I don't wanna end up being sasquatch. But can guys shave their asses? I mean no ones gonna see my ass anyways, but is it okay?
¯\_()_/¯
#2
Rip your dick off ass hairs out
You hit 'em and they get back up
I hit 'em and they stay down
- Frank Castle
#4
Oh my. This thread...hmmmmpotential.

Also, squidlets don't have hair.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#5
in the crack or just on the cheeks?

cheeks is pretty pointless, unless you want cold butt cheeks (or have really super hairy cheeks)

crack is apparently okay once you do it regularly to keep it clean shaven. otherwise it chafes and sticks the skin together due to the sweat from the chafing and when the hairs come back in, that prickly stubble will make the chafing 1000% worse. if the hair back there is too much, you are probably better off just trimming it with a electric groomer or a lighting "brushing" to thin the hair with a safety razor (so not shaving to the skin)
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#7
ooooh there's a great story about this on the web hold on


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#8
Found it


I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble ****ting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my butt-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my buttcheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my butt of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My butt was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two buttcheaks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poo- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky ****/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my butt off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering ****/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my butt cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own ****blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my butt at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for butt-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my buttcheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your butt having the texture of a Brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Guys, DON'T SHAVE YOUR BUTT-HAIR!


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#10
I'll be honest, I had a similar outcome when I got fed up one day and gave myself a clean shave completely down there. sack included so I had stubble irritation with my balls against my thighs.

not quite as bad toilet experience but things were pretty damp back there for a while.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#11
I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble ****ting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my butt-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my buttcheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my butt of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My butt was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two buttcheaks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic poo- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky ****/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my butt off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering ****/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my butt cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own ****blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my butt at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for butt-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my buttcheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your butt having the texture of a Brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Guys, DON'T SHAVE YOUR BUTT-HAIR!
It's great


Well, there you have it, "it's great".
Go for it man.
#13
^ yo this guy has the official ug guy thingy in his avatar he must be the site owner

better listen to him

(@Guizar)


Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#17
There's no downside to it aside from the painstaking process of actually doing the shaving, you shouldn't get irritation like you do on other parts of your body.
#18
Quote by GuitarGod_92
There's no downside to it aside from the painstaking process of actually doing the shaving, you shouldn't get irritation like you do on other parts of your body.

Yeah, you'd think so...BUT...
#21
Do not do it. It itches and gets really sweaty and gross. My ex thought I should shave my ass once and it was miserable. 2/10 would not recommend at all
ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
#22
I do it on occasion. Like that whole middle area. I just like to keep it under control down there and makes things easier for my girlfriend if she goes lower than my balls
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#23
Quote by JamSessionFreak
Found it

It sounds like he just had a smurf peeing out of his butt. Or he was overweight. I mean, he only climbed two flights of stairs.
Quote by DisarmGoliath
Facesitting is a violation of freedom of speech, because how can you speak when you have an ass covering your face?
#24
People are seriously over exaggerating how bad shaving your ass is. All you need to do is: Shave it regularly, use lotion when you shave it to avoid irritation, and actually keep your ass clean on a regular basis. This goes for both the cheeks and the crack.
#25
cheeks seems like way too much work and my butt would get cold
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#26
Don't bother unless you're gay and want to be completely body-hairless, or if you get a girlfriend who is in to rimming. No one's gonna see your ass that often, just take your shits before your showers so you can dislodging any fecal remanents.
#27
Quote by Drop -D
Don't bother unless you're gay and want to be completely body-hairless, or if you get a girlfriend who is in to rimming. No one's gonna see your ass that often, just take your shits before your showers so you can dislodging any fecal remanents.

wat
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#29
Quote by GuitarGod_92
if you have an inferior body then it might be a problem



it really depends how much and what kind of hair you have on your body.
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#30
This thread is brilliant. Hilarious and informative. TIL I will never shave down there.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#31
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Yeah, you'd think so...BUT...

BUTT!
teeheehee
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#34
Just buy yourself a little bottle of Veet hair removal cream. It's very cheap and has worked incredibly well. Seriously dude, that shit left my brown eye clean and worthy of eating off of afterwards. Which I probably didn't do.

Seriously though, I haven't had any irritation or anything.
#37
I've done it before. No ill effects at all.

It makes you look a lot more attractive in a mirror than when you turn around and it looks like you're growing a tail out of your ass (and i'm not talking about poop here)
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#40
Quote by CaptainCanti
But can guys shave their asses? I mean no ones gonna see my ass anyways, but is it okay?

why couldn't they? but my advice is to figure out how much it means to you to not have a hairy ass. like, if it's not a big deal, don't bother. it is kind of annoying and uncomfortable at times, but if being hairy makes you feel bad/gross, go for it.
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