#1
A faint glint lies on the surface
it would be unimaginable to anyone what lies beneath.
what I had revealed appears to be the worst
but it is just what I'm comfortable with sharing
see the truth is
I'm a coward. a liar. a manipulator
I have this dark devious skill that can come in handy
I can change my personality.
while some people fumble in the dark for a light switch
I know every crevice, corner , indentation in my walls.
I don't search for the switch. I know where it is.
And I know when it is needed it see

so when I confess my cowardly shallow sins
you appear to be shocked and shaken
your fumbling for your light switch

I reach over and turn it on for you and you start to calm down
its a terrifying thought that I have so much control over you.
Its not because I hurt you, not because your life is now effected,
but because I do not care.
I have become completely numb and indifferent to you and to myself.
I no longer feel these emotions.
I think that scares me
but it's the first thing I have felt in a while.
#4
This could benefit with some imaginative words, but as a song I think this could build an awesome tension. I like the fact that it dares to.... But if you could put some colours into it, you could have an even darker piece imo. Just my two cents!

If you have something obvious you wanna tell, make it less obvious. If you have something you can't entirely express, make it less cloudy!
Sorta my guideline to poetry writing...if that makes any sense. Keep it up!
#5
Quote by Eccer


If you have something obvious you wanna tell, make it less obvious. If you have something you can't entirely express, make it less cloudy!
Sorta my guideline to poetry writing...if that makes any sense. Keep it up!


I like to keep my writing alot less obvious this is one, but I tryed to have it be more clear.
The first one I posted on here is pretty cloudy.